I hurt you
and I hold that,
I feel it,
I know.
I am trapped between
Silence and consoling.
I love you
because, even with these empty words,
you hold me closer
than before.
We are so afraid
of losing
what we've built.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Feb 3, 2023
Feb 3, 2023 at 3:55 PM UTC
When it rains,
do the cracked tips of your fingers itch
to play?
The secret between creator and created
overwhelming.
You, piano man, live.
Empty slowly full
letting go but never fully going.
Sunburn on your back, music in your ear,
I will never understand life
as you do.
Jan 21, 2022
Jan 21, 2022 at 11:44 PM UTC
Heavy beast and heavy burden
Burned into growing feet,
a mile above all great sentiments of
Home, clouds settle into molds
Carved inside carnivorous minds.
There is no quadrant on this island
You could go
Where I could not see who you created
In me, fiery and dormant, whirlwind
Of silence and fear. I see you everywhere,
In every line on my face,
You exist.
I exist amongst a million cold dandelions in a weary field.
Inescablable youth, river stones wrapped to knarled knees
To ground me to three separate waterfalls,
All who whisper of the dead
To creatures who eat the love from out the backs of children’s heads.
I own a million fragments of a life
And nowhere have I found the one
Who makes them whole.
Feb 23, 2021
Feb 23, 2021 at 9:41 PM UTC
Was it you, who burned a city
At my fingertips?
I’ll blame it
On the rampaging fire wildflowers
Suffocating California.
Either way, I cannot breathe.
What haunts me?
It’s you, isn’t it.
The 12-33, code 12-56,
No help is coming,
“Refusal to comply” morphs to “missing persons,” reporting
The silence.
The screech, the blip
Of a scanner, seeing red,
Like I could hear the pain
Of a few thousand shaken children
Who lost
Their mothers
To a cloud of noxious smoke.
That’s what haunts me.
Isn’t it.
Children, charred and homeless,
Roaming crumbling streets.
That’s what haunts me.
Jan 25, 2021
Jan 25, 2021 at 5:09 PM UTC
Open gangly arms are reaching
Forward, to a magic gate
Red and faded, painted beady
dragon eyes.
Little water house, you sing to me,
Ears floating from my head
Towards wispy cotton cattails.
I crave a jaunt with ducklings
In icy morning air,
Even if the pond is softly frozen.
Who lives in murky water?
And sings early winter songs
To a fragile gangly girl
Who's prone to listen
And respond?
Palm-sized apples, bitter cores
Losing noons to grape groves.
I wished to be a raspberry ferry
Floating downstream
Forevermore.
Jan 15, 2021
Jan 15, 2021 at 2:01 PM UTC
Inferiority perched ready in the waiting misty lake.
Like magic, she floats atop a rippling plain.
Rest in water, breathe deep - the fool.
She flutters above, air bubble out of reach.
Drown drown in the void you create and breathe deep.
"I pity the corpses who lie in the water," you say in the grasp of dead hands.
You are a force and your mind is the block, so do as you wish, but lay still.
However long you gasp for air, you will die regretting free will.
Oct 15, 2020
Oct 15, 2020 at 7:03 PM UTC
Chipped or ***** or dying
and you can't look past it.
What's special about new? Or is it
that it is
unused?
How much beauty
can you see
in damage?
In use?
I'd like to believe you see worth
in the imperfections
of me.
But what do I know
of your soul, really? And who is to say
you will leave me in any better shape
anyway...
All I can do is hope.
Aug 26, 2020
Aug 26, 2020 at 2:51 PM UTC
Orange flowers
Catching all the hills on fire
Just to see them burn, I take a breath.
Smoke and dust bind my righteous life underneath my eyelids.
Blindness.
Jun 9, 2020
Jun 9, 2020 at 9:07 PM UTC
I creak in this cold.
Calm, china-doll-like purple hands
Icy veins
Fingers Frozen
To my zipper,
Chatter
Of my teeth reminding me
Of my callow views
My doll-like skew
On everything.
— if I broke, i'd shatter,
And I could glue myself back together
Full of cracks.
Apr 30, 2020
Apr 30, 2020 at 2:51 PM UTC
I don’t think I see you anymore;
I don’t see anything besides the
Dangling red-stones and reckless curls,
Sun-kissed smile shivering for more
I cant comply to.
I don’t want to lose you to the life you can’t give up and I lose myself every other day to
Monotony. Maybe
You could end that?
I’m tired
And blind
And I can’t stop seeing your hidden sort of side—The one that glances at the person you wish I wore
And writes of all the sensuous aspects of the world.
See these fake words you assign me, I am not a crisp morning
Or beckoning sea breeze entangling you in lust and mystery—I’m frozen.
I don’t know what else to say now,
Standing in the un-lit streets of memories unwinding—holding close the heart I guess I broke—Staring at your shifting soul,
I wonder who I would have been without you
And who I will become once you are gone.
Love-Locked looks I hide inside,
Beside my permanently damaged sense of pride.
So instead of any other sad display
I’ll tell you
You look more beautiful every day.
Dec 1, 2019
Dec 1, 2019 at 5:43 PM UTC