I take a deep breath in,
Hold it for few seconds
And let it go.
The sun rises,
Day dawns
And the day goes.
My thoughts expand,
Emotions arise-
And just like each breath and each day,
I let go of each thought.
I do not need to hold on to a breath;
I do not need to hold on to a day;
I do not need to hold on to a thought.
I can live one day at a time,
One hour at a time,
One second at a time,
Moment by moment by moment.
I take a deep breath in,
Hold it for few seconds
And gently let it go...
Oct 4, 2020
Oct 4, 2020 at 11:49 PM UTC
I'm still an empty canvas,
Made up of materials
Sewed up together by self-doubts
And degrading affirmations.
I hope when you see me,
You see beyond what I am,
And feel what I am longing to feel-
I'm only waiting to be painted in colors.
My life has been too gray and black...
But I'm neat,
I have managed to paint all white over the grays and black.
If you paint your colors,
I will know what I've been missing.
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 11:48 PM UTC
Every now & then
Sadness engulfs me -
Reminding me to let the demon in.
I was always scared of this demon
Because when it came,
It took the whole of me.
It would enslave me
Until the dawn -
And I would spend days restlessly,
And nights full of fear.
But now -
I believe I'm a bit more wiser.
I think I can befriend this demon -
I think I can silence it this time.
Not with wine, ***** or any spirits;
But with a big hug.
Yes, a big hug.
Next time it beckons at my door,
I will politely open it.
Instead of looking for a place to hide & resisting,
I will let it enter inside.
I will let it rest comfortably on my favorite couch
And let it speak.
I will even make green tea for the both of us,
And tell it to stay as long as it wishes.
I will give it space to hover in every corners of my mind.
I will allow it to cry,
I will hold it in my arms until it feels better
And once it finds peace and is ready to leave,
I will tell -
That my door shall always be open
And whenever it needs solace -
I shall make green tea,
And we shall sit on the couch together.
And when it leaves-
I shall smile at the wonder
Of how giant this demon I thought it was,
But it is only a child!
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 10:20 PM UTC
One can of beer
And 4 shots of tequila
Was all it took
For me to realize
How loyal my pillow has been
Soaking in all my tears
All these years,
And still helping me
Sleep peacefully.
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 5, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC
Sadness engulfs
Even the most self preserved part of me.
That which had been sacred
Is now haunted.
I doubt if there is such a thing
As together-forever..
You have come in my life.
But I've seen too many tragedies,
That I sometimes doubt on our own magic.
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 27, 2018 at 5:06 PM UTC
I run away from chaos-
Lock myself in the tiny bathroom.
I make sure he is fast asleep
Before I hide in my safe zone.
In this small space, I feel a mansion.
I weep gently remembering the horrors I have been through that noone knows yet,
I weep gently until peace dawns within me
And comforts my soul saying everything will be ok..
I make promises to myself to never be small.
It's ironic I do this while I'm locked in a tiny space..
I won't let anyone tame me.
I am the queen of my own castle,
I can swell
I can shrink
But I shall never perish in vain.
Oct 28, 2017
Oct 28, 2017 at 8:54 AM UTC
I woke up
Feeling anxious
Wondering if the demons
That haunted me the night before
Are still around.
They never show up during the day,
But when I'm back in my room
They mess inside my head
They know I'm a fighter
I won't cry for help
They push me into a deep storm
Yet I stay brave enough not to sway.
Sleep is far from consciousness
I am helpless, but not broken.
As the poison of red wine
Sinks in my blood
I slowly get past the demons
And follow the clouds like cotton candies
I am finally dreaming
I am finally sleeping.
Jun 28, 2017
Jun 28, 2017 at 2:40 PM UTC
I wonder if you cleaned away
The stains of my palm on your bedroom wall.
I wonder if you finally bought the King size bed
That you always wanted to get for us.
I wonder how you have been sleeping
After I left and broke your heart.
What did you do with our pictures
That I gifted you on our first Valentine's Day?
I had put so much time to make it
And I was so touched when you cried to see it.
How are you?
Are you okay?
Is work keeping you busy?
I am so sorry I let our love go to waste.
I am so sorry I couldn't love you like you needed.
Do I want to be with you?
No.
Do I miss you?
Yes.
I miss you badly.
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 7, 2017 at 10:17 AM UTC
I am certain
Your body, in all its beauty and forms, precedes time.
It's like an infinite geometrical symphony,
A mystical existence in space-
Enlighting the essence to my being.
I want it in all parts,
I want it whole.
Engulf me in all curves and edges,
Tour me in my favorite places.
Your body, satisfyingly disturbing, both pure and dark
I know not, which is sadder-
The fact that I have fallen deeply into this chaos,
Or that you are completely unaware.
Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 7:41 PM UTC
I dream of a little home
Where each brick in that home is built with love
Our bedroom would be on the East side
So that the first sunrays of each morning would caress our face and wake us up
Our little home would have a huge backyard
Where I would grow a vegetable garden
The front yard would have a little fountain and a bird house.
I would also plant white rose, yellow marygold and pink lily
Our love would blossom each day like these flowers.
Our living room window would have a
mounted cat bed
Our lazy cat would curl between us when we watch movies sitting on the couch
I dream of a simple life,
Where you and me
Fill ourselves with love and support.
We would hold each other's back, and grow with eachother
Every morning would be a beautiful morning because you would be the first one I would see
And every night would be blissful, because I can sleep on your chest.
This is all I dream,
A dream for you and me.
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017 at 11:01 PM UTC