There's that place in my heart
Where I know you reside
But I'll ignore that gnawing feeling
All because I mean nothing
From time to time, when my wayward mind strays
The memory of your beautiful eyes stays
Your haunting eyes eats away at my soul
God my heart resembles a black hole
One more day away from you
and all I wish is to curl up and die
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018 at 2:38 AM UTC
She lost her heart inside his soul..in the words his mind composed...inside the myriad memories of this emerald eyes...that shone with a light she had never know...a longing she thought was hers alone...
She loved him more than life itself..
But feared that even the shadow of her
scared, wounded heart would cast
an evil that could not be dispelled.
The proof of her love was in her eyes..she loved him each moment...knowing well that even the sight of him killed her a thousand times over...
She wanted the best for him...even if it meant being without her.
His future, his dreams meant more to her than that ache deep down to see him behold her with a longing she saw in his eyes alone....none ever looked at her like that...ever
Lust was all she got....disgust if at all.
He made her feel beautiful, feel complete..seem ageless...almost magically as if his love alone could transform her demons into ashes....
He was all she ever wanted..hoped for..he was the answer to her aching heart!
She loved him like she would die every day just to be held in his transcendental embrace...
But then she ran away...frightened at the plethora of emotions that coursed through her hopeless body..afraid of her own shadow...afraid of what it meant...a reality she couldn't dream of..cudnt imagine..
worlds colliding.. hopes shattering...
she dare not love again...she dare not love again..she promised herself.."Not this time...not again"
Mar 28, 2017
Mar 28, 2017 at 1:51 AM UTC
The sun stole the daylight from her eyes
He blinded her to reality
Drove her to insanity
His brilliance was meant to protect
To heal to cure
To banish ills
To drive out demons that roamed the earth
The Sun in all his glory
Did that to her?
Blinded by his sheer magnificence
She stumbled in to darkness,
His was a light so bright
That it left her without sight
Is it so ? They mocked her!
Is it so, she asked herself
Can something that is meant to protect
Also take your life?
or drive you blind?
Who would believe her?
Who could she take her plea to?
They'd call her insane
And counter blame.
You are stupid! They'd say
To play with fire
To fly too close to the sun
Which fool did inspire?
So she went back into her cocoon
Her shelter, never to return, never to falter
She was scathed, her soul a cinder
Her heart a hole, her mind a blender.
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 13, 2017 at 2:20 AM UTC
He was late. He rushed forward. All he could see was a crowd of people standing near a lady. Her sister he guessed. Dark sunglasses adorned a cherubic face. Her red nose was a clear give away, that she had been weeping. They had closed the grave. He was late. He didn't get a chance to see her one last time.
How could it be possible? She had met him a few months ago! She looked fine. He received a message from her sister. She was dead. It was her funeral. He could hardly believe it. How did life change in a mere few months?
Her sister was speaking to a group of young women, her friends, he gathered. They were speaking with her sister. He overheard them say "But she never told us! She called us and said we should go camping and planned the whole trip at such a short notice. We had so much fun! But she never told us."
Her sister replied, "She was informed 4 months ago, somewhere at the end of Jan, that she had a few months to live. She had developed a lung complication and it had taken a turn for the worse. The medication had stopped working. She didn't want any more doctor visits and stuff. She refused to get treated. She decided then she would have fun and live the last few months of her life, memorably. Surprise friends, meet people she never made time for before. Make happy memories. She lived her last days simply wanting to be happy. She met most of the people on her wish list. Except a few who were away."
Hearing that, his heart sank. He was one of those she paid a surprise visit to. He remembered that day. He had been avoiding her. He recalled the surprise visit to his house. He was home that day. It caught him off guard. He was in a spot and didn't expect that she should drop in unannounced. How upset he was! He recalled those words. Angry words, he had lashed out at her. Then he didn't hear anything from her afterwards. Now it sank in him. She met him at the end of Jan. She didn't have time. Why didn't she tell him that? She hardly said anything at all. He was angry with her, again, even now. Why? Why? Why? He approached her sister and introduced himself. "Hi! I am John". At that his sister interrupted him, "Oh! I have a note for you", With that she took out an envelope from her pocket and handed it over to him.
He was dazed. His sister turned her attention away. He held the envelope in his hands, shock, disbelief, he couldn't explain what engulfed him at that moment. He had always, avoided her. She was irritating, a pain, he thought. She had issues. Unresolved issues. He remembered the time, she whispered to him, that she was in love with him. But he ignored her. Pretended that he never heard it. She wasn't his type. He opened the note. It read.
"Dear John, By the time you receive this note, I will not be physically present in this world. I am sorry for dropping in unannounced at your place, that day. I am really sorry. I realized you were upset, but believe me upsetting you was the last thing I had in mind.
You see, I had been having issues with breathing for quite some time. My sickness made me depressed. A lung infection I caught on, turned into a complication. I was hoping to get better. I never thought, that it would be the end of me. But when the doc told me I had a few months to live. I was shocked. I asked myself. What is the only thing you would regret leaving behind. And then I saw your face. You my dear friend, are the 1st person I will regret leaving behind. Not having spent time with you. And not spending time with people who have loved me irrespective of my so called "issues", these are the ones I will regret leaving behind.
So I decided to let the end of my life, albeit a few months, be the happiest days of my life. And for once let me control what I choose to do with my days, rather than living a schedule of must do things and tasks and priorities. You see, we have a choice, yet we choose to focus on the priorities that don't add any value or meaning to our lives. Day and months pass by in meaningless pursuits. We miss the opportunity to love and share our love with others.
You were in no doubt that I loved you, but I respected your decision. I don't resent it. I chose to give freely and to grow every day by being richer in the experience of just giving for the sake of it. I stopped worrying about how my actions will be interpreted by people around me. Seriously, they have no clue about my journey and what it has taken me to keep myself alive.
Having decided this for myself, I've spent the best days of my life in the last few months. I am truly, happy and satisfied. The only regret I have is that I didn't get to create a happy memory with you that day. I also understand completely the reasons you gave me. But it doesn't matter now, does it? I cannot create any more memories from my grave.
Love ya always "
He closed the note. Yes, he realized no more memories, no more sorry. You can't create memories from the grave.
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 31, 2017 at 3:03 AM UTC
My heart is simple, my feelings true.
I had no intention of offending you.
Not to shock, neither to stalk,
I simply decided to walk.
My sixth sense warned me not to go
I thought I just say Hello
To silently be a part of your grief
No tears apparent that I could weep.
Words a few, comfort to give.
Basic understandings, that I knew.
My world came toppling at your accusations
That I failed to understand your basic assumptions.
Yes, I do regret, surprising you.
But the greater shock, was seeing you.
Deciding to circumvent, I landed into you.
Not expecting, not realizing,
No benefit of a doubt.
I am the one shocked, I need to take stock
If this is ur attitude, twice I've taken the blame
Suffered the shame and humiliation
Only in loves name
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 30, 2017 at 1:02 PM UTC
"I Love U" whispered the Moon to the Sun. A forlorn look crept into her eyes. "I've always been in love with you", she whispered in a hoarse voice, choking on the oceans of love which welled up in her eyes. A whisper barely audible and poignant. She looked at the Sun, knowing fully well that she cud never stand in the brilliance of his love. Knowing that as the day separated the night their love could never unite. Yet she pined for him, with undying love.
She revolved around the earth, but her heart had only eyes for him. Of all the planets she had to fall in love with him. A tiny spec, unnoticed in the galaxy.
Eclipses were short lived phenomena occurring few and far in between, rare and once in a year maybe.
But she waited for the day, when she would bask in his glory and be the cynosure of his eyes alone. She waited patience personified, knowing it was sheer madness to love the Sun. Dazzling, hot and magnificent that he was, the universe revolved around him. He didn't even know she existed. Except for that one special day, when his eyes would notice her momentarily.
So she dressed up as pretty as she cud hoping his wayward heart would see, that it was her love which adorned her. Just the thought of seeing him upfront would bring a twinkle in her eyes.
She waited with baited breath for that fleeting moment, shorter than a quarter of a hour. A quarter of an hour in the 8760 hours he spent outside of her world. While she waited, hopelessly endlessly, pining for the his love.
Then mockingly he came to her at last. At that designated time, teasing her about how naive she was. "Show me" she blurted with baited breath, her heart racing the universe in those fleeting moments. So he gathered her in his huge embrace and pressed his wild heart close to her breast. And in that embrace the earth was eclipsed in their union.
She could feel his wild heart through the layers of the physical distance which still separated them and she closed her eyes to his scent, the scent of the universe, that brought waves of nostalgia. She longed for more, and hugged him back. Aching to tell him how much she loved him and wanted this moment to last. She wondered what it would be like to taste him. She wanted his brilliance to permeate every fiber of her being. But, she realized she was playing with the Sun. His fire would consume her, if she flew too close to him.
He seemed unruffled, as she quivered at his touch, his scent, so full of him and so dizzy with that euphoria. Did time stop? Would the universe allow a few seconds of oblivion?
But then the world was in an eclipse. He had to leave. So softly he whispered in her ear, "I have to leave". Reluctantly she let go, feeling the extricated from the universe, as if separating from him, meant death, fearing that perhaps this may be the last time she would see Him.
For as the world waited with expectation for an eclipse to occur and counted days when their union would be so spectacular, it also longed for normalcy. Something wasn't right when the Moon embraced the Sun. A tiny creature smaller than the earth, she shouldn't dare hold him, they said.
She for once knew what it was to keep wandering in eternity, with so much love held in her ***** with the only hope that an eclipse would occur some day and that her yearning for the Sun would never ever fade or dwindle, in this lifetime or the next. A tsunami of a sob escaped her lips, oceans in turmoil. The door had closed on her universe, she was in a darkness. She could feel his warmth even then, but it began to grow cold. A panic started to form as she struggled to retain control.
He however, was far away unknown to her misery. He on the other hand, belonged to the universe, no one could hold him back. Self-made, disciplined, his was a journey few would understand.
She did, she perfectly did understand. Only, she didn't expect anything from him, except few words of reciprocation. Few words, that he loved her just the same way, that she meant something to him. That his heart beat the same way for her. She also knew that this experience meant nothing to the Sun, he would move on as he always did. He had a status to keep and the universe was watching.
But alas, he was The Sun, would he tell a tiny insignificant creature like her anything at all?
The Sun left her abode, he shrugged off the experience, and got back on his journey. While far away those watching the Sun, began to notice that a few spots had appeared on the Sun. A memory of where he had embraced the Moon, had left a black hole on his heart.
Dedicated to the one and only man my heart loves
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 3:31 AM UTC
He broke his silence for her
He broke the rules he never should
Said what he felt like he did
He engaged with a fence sitter
Not knowing he was throwing
his heart under her feet
His eyes were blazing
His soul searing
His risk was great
His reputation at stake
Did he love her?
Should he say that he did?
Would she respond
Would she understand?
Oh she did understand!
Oh she did want it just they same!
Only her freedom was not hers to claim!
She loved him the only way she could
His happiness his dreams where precious to her
She was the distraction he could not afford
No one was going to be happy with this arrangement she understood
Sometimes it is so easy to loose yourself
in the moment and forget about the rest
But then the moment comes back to haunt
It should never have been!
Those words spoken those feelings rent
The soul laid bare and naked, exposed
Then she ran away, as fast as she could
For she saw in him her reality
A mirror of herself
He loved her as she loved him
What next, what next?
Will he forgive her
Why should he?
Why should he?
She broke his rules.
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 5, 2016 at 11:50 AM UTC
Mesmerizing eyes anchor me to your soul
I loose myself in those translucent depths
I wonder if your lips were made for me
I wonder if your heart beats for me
When gently on your chest I lay my hand
I hear your heartbeat restrained
Thumping loudly, visibly tensed
Sensing if I'll ever guess
Strangers to unbeknown eyes
Your gaze I've held
How I would want to pretend
But you've deeply affected my rest
Words form freely, in the minds unrest
Silence seals my lips before my story unfolds
Scarcely breathing, surviving, the truth untold
Stranger I am to my own world
I don't want to be a stranger to this feeling
I don't want to be just a keeling
Never want to let you go, hold you to myself.
Bury myself in the depth of your vortex
You'll never understand
The reason of my restraint
Undelivered words and messages unsent
Hiding visibly in broad daylight
When your sweet voice I want to hear daily
The antithesis of my story is laughable
The dissonance of my utterances and intent
Perplexed and fraught between
To be or not to be
My struggle, my dichotomy
Paradoxical my situation
Fake my appearances seem
Inside I am dying my love
Dying for a simple truth from you!
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 23, 2015 at 3:12 AM UTC
A futile battle enmeshed
Overpowering emotions struggle to stay afloat
Heaving a deep breath I sink in
Isolated in my despair
Sliced through bone and marrow
Pain wrenches my soul, vice in its hold
A fragrance wafts in
Electrifying my soul
Reverberating memories explode
Bursting to surface
Tender moments, the story of a heaped up soul
In every cell of my being I feel you
Emanating exuding your deep truth
Your touch like butterflies
Transcendental your love
Rewinding reel by reel
The story of an unsaid love
I see you close, though I bear you not
My heart lost inside your soul
Irreplaceable the magic
Weaved by those deep emerald embers
Wants each moment to unfold
I ease back and surrender once again
To the assurance of this bliss
Entrenched deeply in this moment
Serenity shrouds a warm blanket
Intense emotions lay calm, spent
My soul in glorious serenity elevates
You are undeniably a part of me
My paragon, my serenity
Issue forth bright light, vibrant colors
Adorn the deep dark night sky
Your love a painting a million hues
Panoramic and divine.
I LOVE YOU....
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 1:06 AM UTC
If this title attracted your attention
As it surely should
The devil is real my friend
Rest assured it's true.
Folks I am not fibbing
The master of lies has a great disguise.
Like the Saviour he is watching you too.
But unlike the Master, your fears are his haven.
He's lying in quiet wait to trip you.
If you think I am fibbing, let me explain.
His existence is in the mind of the aimless.
He makes his home in the hopeless.
The young ones he infects with discontent
His hatred he sows deep.
This till the children of God become his sheep.
Then beguiling he'll lead them to slaughter.
Broken hearts, bitterness to plunder.
The emptiness a yawning gap.
You can't save yourself,
He'll push you to give up.
Then he'll put words of despair in the mouths of loved ones.
Break your resolve if you so much as dare.
He'll thrive on wickedness, and turn your love into despair.
All around you, you'll see hopelessness.
This minions perfecting the part.
Only the Son of God (Jesus), can break this act.
When you feel love tugging at your heart
And reach out to those hurting.
When u bury the hatchet
And choose forgiveness.
When you rise above the pettiness
Your pride destroyed
When you see in persons God's image
Trust me, you've the fetters blown away
Oh, he won't let you go easily
Your too much a prized possession
The one he'll ensnare,
The one he'll dangle, before His throne
Then the Son of God, His Christ, his body tearing, will offer himself in exchange
A bargain with his blood
Before your life can drain.
Look out Oh children of One God
The devil knows no religion
He exists it's true
Simply look around you.
The wars and guns are his legacy
Products of his insanity.
The mindless massacre of innocents
Unleashed through times immemorial
****** earth covered cries for vengeance.
Mind you, you can only be so much as used.
As you allow yourself to be.
The traps are set in every corner
It's not going to be easy.
Often you'll be goaded by those closest to you.
Offering you solace in things that should not be.
Drugs and gangs
Violence and rave
Ecstasy and addiction
Cool fads and attractions
Wanting things you'd
be better off
But it doesn't stop there
Fear is a potent weapon
He'll use it everywhere.
He'll bombard you from every corner
Till you doubt your sanity
Then willingly you'll walk into his parlour
Handing over your serenity
You'll never know what's evil.
Cause he make you believe he doesn't exist.
But my friend all long
You were flirting with the devil..
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 19, 2015 at 2:45 AM UTC