Here I am 5 years later.
I’m asleep but I dream about the stress of a job that I dreamed of years prior. I cry over a job that I once cried in passion for. I think about the job just as much as I did those years ago, but for different reasons.
Today is an exact reflection of what you were thinking five years ago, someone said to me. It was all a thought you had five years ago. It made me happy, yes- emotional, too. But I wonder how much of that emotion was indeed for my accomplishments in that time frame. Did I feel unsettled, like I had seen the accumulation of five years of seemingly wasted efforts?
But I love my job, I tell myself. This is who you were meant to be, others tell me.
Do I exaggerate as I write this? Surely.
but that small voice I’ve been burying seems to be finding some confidence as of late. Or maybe it has always been there, just growing concerned for me?
It’s okay, I’ll figure it out.
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 2:54 AM UTC
looking back at my previous poems
published, deleted, drafts...
its become clear that i have forgotten part of my identity,
who i was before i left my poems in the dust.
observing the transformations in my words
reminds me of the words of my inner saboteur.
I remember the person who supported my writings,
my thoughts, my feelings...
someone on the other side
who wanted me not to succumb
but to compose and understand
why I felt such sorrow each day.
re-entering my world of poems,
the emotions i archived reflect
periods of my life.
One day i hope to recognize
the impact i made on myself
and the progress that has been achieved
throughout my year of words.
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 12:03 AM UTC
What you have done for me
has saved my life
thank you
these dragons are no longer my terrors,
they are my friends
how grateful I am for you showing me
that I don't have to hide who I am
because of the wolves that stalk me
and taunt me
THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SEE CLEARLY
Oct 15, 2018
Oct 15, 2018 at 11:38 PM UTC
I sometimes forget that I do work hard.
I'm no Einstein heaven knows
I do put in the effort though
And when the results come back
I tell myself I deserved it
for not practicing enough
But when I reap what I sow
And life starts piecing itself together
I feel good
I don't hesitate to show my accomplishments
Because there are only so many aspects of life
that one can say they have conquered
I feel blessed to say that I will aspire to be greater
And I will continue to challenge my intellectual muse,
Mentally, Emotionally, Physically.
We all will study the music,
and one day we will harmonize.
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018 at 12:08 AM UTC
its not a good sign when
you stop writing your words
for those that may be willing to lend an ear;
its not a good sign when
your computer doesn't recognize the hello poetry url
that used to be so deeply embedded into its system;
its not a good sign when
you feel your poems no longer have meaning
it is pointless to write anonymously to no one
its not a good sign when
you have to fluff your scripture
to make it more believable to readers,
or maybe yourself.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 11:19 PM UTC
I feel chained to the couch
Mourning something bigger than me
And once I turned off the background noise of the tv
I felt my lungs collapse with it
never have i felt so hollow
and swarmed with silence
until this moment.
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 11:24 PM UTC
thank you,
for reading my words.
this community is so welcoming
and im never afraid to show what i feel.
every like, love, repost,
makes me feel proud
(not something i feel often)
and every comment
makes me cry
to know someone spent their own time
on my poems.
and those comments move me and my poetry forward.
we are all evolving together,
and we are working towards something greater,
and you poets are inspiring
individuals like me
to express ourselves
so thank you,
to all the poets before me,
remembered or forgotten,
I will always remember how you've embraced and lead
communities like us,
and still do to this day.
thank you,
to all the poets of the new century,
for opening our minds to something new,
nothing stagnant.
thank you for accepting yourselves and your words for
what they are.
continuously remember how much you influence our generation,
the students,
the teachers,
the parents,
the children.
Each.
word.
counts.
thank you
from the bottom of my heart.
Ashley Marie
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 11:38 PM UTC
its hard to fill loneliness
you cant find the solution if you dont know the problem
blindly searching for an object with no name
that may fix the unfixable
and knowing this keeps you up at night
makes you feel like you are the room itself,
not its occupant.
a liability,
is what they call it.
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 10:56 PM UTC
If I could fly
Freedom would guide my wings
Don’t we all want to escape
From the earth?
Be somewhere we cannot be found?
I dream of hemoglobin wings
That carry me across the bright eyed sky,
Reflecting the energy of the sun
That brings my freedom to life.
Their gloss makes them look wet,
doused in the glory of gore.
We stand with the rest of us,
world,
in peace after the war.
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 1:50 AM UTC
I feel useless.
I feel trapped in a preciously dangerous box
but it seems that no one wants me out
Only restrained
By the fickle hope that maybe someday I will be normal.
Like other girls.
I want to be the smartest girl
or maybe the prettiest girl for once?
l want to be the one that stands out
I desire your recognition of my accomplishments,
which aren't too many and much to be proud of.
I want to be someone's something
That maybe leaves them awestruck
And I can't help thinking that
maybe
I am it,
but how useless would that be,
to assume I am everyone's something?
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 1:38 AM UTC