I'm the type of person who buys cute gardening gloves
But upon first use declares them *******
It turns out, I need to feel
the dirt between my fingers
the layers packed under my fingernails
Apr 15, 2023
Apr 15, 2023 at 12:47 PM UTC
We've been
Waiting for
Talking about
this
forever
Now that it's
here
The moment feels
heavy
hazy
hectic
hallowed
hazardous
hard
I'm ready to just do it already
But this doesn't feel like
The type of thing to do in
haste
It's possible I'm being
hyperbolic
Or I'm spot on it's
historic
hold on
hand & hand
We stand
hopeful
Apr 13, 2023
Apr 13, 2023 at 4:57 PM UTC
Turning
Dark brown
I let go
The sweetest release
Slowly I fall
Twisting my way
Upon the wings of the wind
I soar
Gently
I rest against the ground
Which grows
Colder
Harder
With every second
I lay
Silent
Curled up
Crunchy
Dead
A foot comes
Large and wide and horrifying
It steps
With power and purpose
Directly on top of me
Squishing me
Breaking me into
Tiny fragments
Puzzle pieces
That could possibly connect to form
What I once was
Lucky for me
My stringy veins
Hold me together
I lay sprawled
Flattened
Exhausted
Like a connect a dots completed by a toddler
I don't resemble myself
But I can see my parts
An unlikely display of
Strength
I had long thought disappeared
The wind pushes me around
I tumble
Forward
Back
The air cools
Rain soaks my surface
Snow pummels my body
Soon, I am trapped beneath its flakes
All I see is
White
A blank wall of
Nothing
I can feel my body
Disinigrate
But all of the sudden
A warm sensation comes over me
It is so strange
I see slivers of green from beneath my white blanket
Eventually I see blue
Puffy white clouds
Brilliant flowers
I am soggy
But somehow
Still
One
The whole time
The evergreen stands near
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 2:09 AM UTC
Weight
So heavy
Pile after pile of
Corpulent burdens
Massive amounts of
Stuff
Thought after thought
Thousands of miniscule pins
Poking
Prodding
Pounding
Relief?
It all comes down to
Just how well can I
Express myself
Too bad
My words never truly articulate my meaning
Too bad
My insides fizzle with rage at the slightest struggle
Too bad
No relief
Only me
Immobilzed
Bending
Crushed
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 28, 2014 at 1:49 AM UTC
Sometimes I just want to
Scream
At the world
NO YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG
Then
Run away
And hide
In a cardboard box
On the side of the road
In a ditch somewhere
Anywhere
Just far, far away
I wonder how long people would care?
Eventually
My dramatic scene
Would mean
Nothing
My presence
Would no longer be missed
Eventually
People would forget
The only thing of me remaining,
Rotting skin
***** bones
A dilapidated cardboard box
Soggy
Left out in the rain
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014 at 1:39 AM UTC
You can't hold her
When you grip tight
She will
Slip
Like sand
Falling through the tiny cracks
In between each finger
You can try
But every time
Your hand will end up
Empty
White knuckles
Snatching up
The air
Nothing else
For she
Alone
Holds herself together
Pieces of string
Globs of glue
Strips of duct tape
Hastily slapped on
Her two hands
Alone
Pull and
Cover and
Push away
There is no room
For
You
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014 at 3:29 PM UTC
She was there when
I first rode a two wheeler
All by myself
She was the one who
Grabbed the back of the seat and gently pushed me along
Helping me to stay balanced
Letting me go at the perfect moment
Hugging me
Telling me how proud she was
When I finally got it
She was there when
I mastered the chain stitch
She taught me how
She encouraged me when
I got frusterated
And threw the needle and yarn down in disgust and defeat
She's the one who said
You can do it
Keep trying
She was there when
I landed my first backside boardslide
She had him build the ramp and rail
For me
So I could practice
And get better
She clapped when
I did it
She smiled and said
I knew you could
She was there when
I was first really introduced to Christianity
She told me about God
His awesome power
His amazing grace
She answered my questions
Pushed me to
Look closer
Delve deeper
But
She was also there when
I was hurt
Beyond any comprehensibly reason
She was the grand master of my pain
Directing the show with
Biting words and
Slicing actions
She was the one who
Made the demands
She was the one who sat and watched
Hand on my thigh
Stroking
As he whipped his ***** against the side of my face
As he licked places that should not be licked
She was the one who
Smacked
And yelled
And kissed
And touched
Yes
She did all these things
And this,
This is why
My heart overflows with conflict
And nothing,
Not a single thing
Makes any sense
I feel a strange sense of attachment and care
But in the same moment I am gripped with boiling hatred
My brain is twisted into
A spiraled mess of indecision
And I just want
Out
To not feel sick
But
Normal
To know that what I feel is true
And right
But I can't
And I don't
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014 at 1:21 AM UTC
Do you ever have those moments
When life just seems
Too ridiculous to be true
Like you're going to wake up
And everything will have been
Made up
Fictitious
Not real
The last month
No, really
The whole last year
Has me
Feeling like
That
But for one of the first times in my life
It's because
Everything has so perfectly aligned
Fallen into its rightful places
Places I didn't even see
Places that popped up and surprised me
Delighted me
Amazed me
Reminded me why
Life is wonderful
Yes, recently,
Life rocks
I am excessively happy
All the time
The corners of my mouth
Turn down for what?
Nothing.
And no one can take that from me
Because I have a Savior who died for me
I have a God who answers my prayers
Every single day
My circumstances seem confusing
They make no sense on the surface
But deeper, deeper they do
They make all the sense in the world
And deeper,
Deep down inside
I know
I am definitely not dreaming
No, not even close
This is the most authentic,
The most real love
I've ever experienced
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 21, 2014 at 1:00 AM UTC
All day long
Kids come up to me
Holding up
A ****** elbow
A scraped knee
A paper cut finger
A rug-burned hip
Usually crying
They beg for a band-aid
They want help
Desperately, they sob until
The band-aid is firmly in place
And I've given them a hug
Then they are okay
A smile often returns to their chubby cheeks
I send them off to play again
What I'm wondering is
At what point did I
Stop
When did I stop asking
When was I no longer more than willing to
Cry out for help,
Help that I knew was there and willing
At some point
I decided I would be fine
Walking around
All ******
I convinced myself
Somewhere along the ride
I could make it
Without the band-aid
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 17, 2014 at 10:01 PM UTC
Everyone is afraid of something
A bit of fear is good, healthy even
But there is a difference between
Being afraid
And allowing fear to
Paralyze you
Yes,
Fear is strong
No one argues that
But when?
When are you going to accept that
Strength is only relative
And you?
You are stronger
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 12:28 AM UTC