I find myself too often
complaining on the daily
about the broken world in which we live
where violence is easy
The other day I caught myself
in a moment of being happy
feeling lucky about
being able to trust again
I find freedom in reliance
in the mutual agreement
to cherish someone to the fullest
I found our sacred place
The string that connects us
even over distance
the ease in which it all fell into place
was honestly magnificent
Sometimes it hurts when I can't describe
how vast my love for you really is
so deep and sweet and beautifully natural
like dark chocolate and violins
I'm discovering myself
while talking to you every day
but as I start to feel brand new
stretching and fluttering my wings
I keep hitting that crash landing
These are my dreams
You are making them come true
and sometimes I still can't believe
that I am one for you too
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:16 PM UTC
Love is love.
Yet I love it.
After all this time it still drives me.
I don't need it, like air
I can observe it from over there
Go on with my day, like any other.
But I seek it and want it and
see fire when I fall
I've been beaten, ****** and blue
But I won't believe that it's true
That it's no big deal
That I'm making it into something it's not
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:15 PM UTC
is always too long too promise.
I understand the concept
of change being the only constant
not sure I can figure out
why every person insists on being involved.
Certain people are good for you
other ones are way too bad
I still believe they are there for a reason, a lesson
but do they always have to leave, once it is learned?
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:12 PM UTC
Either dragging my toes or standing on the very tip of them,
Down below I can observe most things happening
Anticipating but never participating
Pacing the sidelines, circling the corners, preparing to jump.
I never see the fall until after I have crawled
back out of this darkness
but I suppose that is why
they say what they say
about hindsight
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:10 PM UTC
I feel no separation from my wounds.
After they have long closed over I carry them with me.
I am aware of them as if they still hurt me.
Gently moving forward with caution.
I can tell myself they are gone, and on some level I know this.
But sometimes it can be difficult when I look down and see them.
I know I am not what happened to me.
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:07 PM UTC
Usually I need some kind of sound, to block everything else out.
Music is my lifeblood, I find great solace in the voice of my favorite fictional characters, I can feel my brain growing with online lectures...
But tonight...
My thoughts needed to find their way to the page, usually locked behind layers of fear and clutter, the past pushing everything down and fighting to get out, but I doubt I could let it get to that point again...
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:06 PM UTC
Not looking for this love
has become tried and true
there were lots of reasons why
I never seemed to want to try
but you obliterated that whole train of thought.
Not letting myself see before
convinced myself, I was so sure
that I had this figured out
leaving little room for doubt
you came, you saw, and oh the love you brought.
Two thousand miles was nothing to you
knowing what I needed, you little sneak
you tiptoed 'round my heart, crept behind it
and grabbed on with all you got.
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:06 PM UTC
The irony of the day and the age when we met doesn't escape me.
I can't foresee this bringing happiness at least for a while.
Now being on the far side of this avalanche, I am aware.
What this experience bubbled up inside me, I needed.
I am not what happened to me.
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:04 PM UTC
Shadows cast upon me in the moonlight
The cold is friendly and chills me to the bone
Adventure is always calling me
But I will stay right here
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:03 PM UTC
I actually danced tonight
like nobody was watching
because that is where I am
in the shadows, kept secret.
But I am my own and I prefer it that way
I feel lighter now that I know the truth
I choose now not to look back
for if I slow down I just might drown.
May 27, 2022
May 27, 2022 at 4:02 PM UTC