Thalia gets her knees cut out from under her.
In the cycle of daydreaming she is now at the point
Where those ideations she was having
Now smell like old moth *****
And clip the back of her head like the slightest graze
Of a spiked, sharp chain.
My sister in dismay,
I hope you will not stay in the loam for too long.
Far too brilliant to meander with me in the half-silent mourning fields...
Peel your veil back tomorrow and take a new approach.
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 9:48 PM UTC
Exactly how I find you,
In the spring that turns cold and then erupts
You are in the blooms and bulbs that are waking up
To the trumpets of a better day to come.
There is passion in the essence of your being.
I'm tethered to your light
And I try to catch particles of your brilliance to plug myself back in
To the radiance I shut off
When I thought it would heal me
To resign myself to be
Unspectacular,
And silent.
Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 10:43 PM UTC
I saw you in another dream last night,
And you said you'd been waiting for my arrival,
But only as a hallucination and never as flesh,
Pushing you fingers into my subconscious to see what segments of mine
That you could take for yourself.
Calliope looked just like you,
In spirit and in eminence.
///
I cannot help but adore you in a hopeless and pitiful way,
A stubborn and selfish, reflective way.
I cling to hope in glimpses of you,
And I feel my cells drawn to the idea of you.
///
I don't know if I'll ever be okay with it all.
The notions of the lives I didn't pursue keep popping up to me
As bright fluorescence to tell me that I have more time
And more opportunities.
I search for muses like fireflies...
I catch their light and I let them go.
Feb 28
Feb 28, 2026 at 8:01 PM UTC
I feel so alone and filled with anguish
That must surely pass before I begin again tomorrow,
And as I continue to flush the nonsense from my mind and find myself in there,
This is tedium as a diary.
I am still a fixture of the loam,
I don't have to go on about it
When you can see it for yourself
I dwell in the cracks,
I fall hopelessly in love with myself
And then I peel-apart and feel even worse than before.
I can't steam it out.
I've tried repeatedly and it's still there,
Like a parasite eating with no concept of moderation,
I'm gonna start banging my head against the porcelain
To have some reminder of sincerity.
This all feels so hopeless and fake again,
The same way as it did in college but more sinister, incredibly.
I have made nothing but wrong decisions.
///
They erased the standard I held myself to
With a few clicks and backspaces,
Like it never happened at all.
An editor that doesn't know my name
And knew me as a gimmick or performance,
I was nothing more than an omission that could be made easily
And never thought of again.
I had no voice for years because I refused to speak,
And am now turning back to admit:
I have a few things to say.
Feb 20
Feb 20, 2026 at 11:26 PM UTC
I grabbed her by the waist in the disco-ball light
And said that we didn’t have to stay here and dance if she had any better ideas.
Everyone smelled like liquor,
Vultures circled in masquerade frowns to listen in on our plotting,
To drag our way out of the party
Toward somewhere more secluded.
But the alone time we made for ourselves was just that,
Alone in the most quiet and heartbreaking ways
That could only ever materialize when you’ve communicated perfectly with someone
By a complete accident of circumstance.
And the balancing act of the words you’ve placed rigidly inside of hers begin to unravel
Beneath the weight of all the questions you ignored to ask.
Aug 24, 2022
Aug 24, 2022 at 2:58 AM UTC
What would either of us scream tonight,
And why am I so worried about it?
The hypothetical situation I imagine
Is always an argument
Because I keep it realistic.
You wouldn’t come back to make things easier,
Change your ways
Or make up for the past,
But to yell at me one more time
To get thrill that you admitted it gave you.
Because you said you knew I wouldn’t leave,
And you left me wishing that I had.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018 at 10:30 PM UTC
As always, you want to sidestep the pain
And let it take residence, staying there until it rots,
You say you can’t face what was once effortless
But the most effort you ever invested in
Was mindless cruelty
That very easily could have killed me.
When I start to forget it,
I miss you despite the circumstances.
But it’s been ages without you
And it’s not as painful as it was.
I hope you get better about compassion
And less hung up on vendettas.
Maybe the blossoming of the new year
Will change you completely
And no one else ever will want to **** me like you do.
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 3, 2018 at 8:38 AM UTC
Am I the reason you’re so silent now,
Truth be told and not your version, or mine, of the truth,
Write the same poem again
Or tell me, in truth,
That we’re both worth saving,
That you ran for a good reason.
Will you stay gone forever this time,
And is it any different?
You wouldn’t know how much’ve change I’ve endured,
Or the shape of my beard anymore
Without you to convince me I should shave,
I’m healthier with you here, believe it or not.
I hope you’re safe,
No matter what I wrote.
I wish you’d say hello,
If nothing else.
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 9:11 PM UTC
You say I’m biding my time
Here, five years behind you.
Well, love, my world has changed
In pitch and season
Fifty times without you.
The time has gotten lost
Along with the details we had in common,
The spaces between struggled conversations at midnight,
Just 9 o’clock for you,
But always the time where we’d exist,
And exist,
And exist as one unit
Terrified to think that we’ll wake up tomorrow
Under a pocket of uncertainty.
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 13, 2017 at 11:31 PM UTC
I almost thought to close my eyes
And rest my head before I’d have to start another day without you.
But you, the Flower Queen who embodied all of the poetry I was struggling with,
You took my mind as you always have.
You wrote about missing me
And the song that is only shared by us.
It still tears me up...
I’m still blessed to ever have found you.
I always wonder how you’re living,
If your life has gotten better without me,
If you’ve prayed that I’d get better,
Or if you’ve hoped that we’d talk again.
I miss you terribly.
I’m sending you all of my good thoughts,
And I hope that you’ll get them
And know that I’m sorry
For not holding our bond more carefully.
We got so familiar...
And now,
I only wish we could again.
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017 at 10:55 AM UTC