I'm writing my name in the rain streaking down the window, opening my mind just to feel the wind blow, scattering amongst the sea as a lost albatross, signing this obituary as sincerely your final loss, I heard a rolling stone gathers no moss, so I trip so much I can't even remember the last time I was sober, I think it was late two thousand seven on the last day of October, right before we found out your life was over, but that was so many years ago, so many tears ago, pyramids lost along the last show, belonging only to a mind they will never know, watching the storm grow, they said only a madman would venture into it though, trees topple in the fierce howling wind, a tear no seamstress could ever mend, but yet here we are again, don't you know even from the beginning I knew you had to be more than a friend, I never imagined you were just the beginning to another end, wondering quietly as it begins, these words are nothing more than a simple outlet, a mind I still haven't figured out yet, conquered would be an out stretch, little to no belief, searching for any type of relief, purity is all I really seek, trying to turn over a new leaf, but its just out of reach, blind to those who speak, well beyond the days of simply being unique, now something more like a tripped freak, here take a peak, tell me what you see, surely this isn't me, if not than what could it be, a being desperately trying to remain free, but at the same time carefully planning life number three, lets stop for a minute in time, can I share something on my mind, examine this thought and tell me what you find, how is it that I find myself on my third, most only get one and thats the last thats heard, a final farewell and not another word, divine intervention is something that never occurred, or am I just not seeing this right, maybe I was just blinded by deaths light, they said I shouldn't have won that fight, that I shouldn't have survived that flight, but they dont know that my mind didn't make it out that night, a couple scars in black ink, six years gone in a blink, a madman the way I live on the brink, I trip to keep the pain at bay, I write what I can't say, dex third eye blind because its the only way, after you left I just couldn't find a reason to stay, started down a dark path right after your service ended, a heart that is beyond being mended, that's just another thing I shouldn't have attended, all this pain was never intended, thinking back on all the times I pretended, all the monsters I've befriended, gave my soul just so my life would be extended, and you have the nerve to call me demented, waiting watching to see if i was offended, do you think this is the first time I've been labeled as such, an intergalactic mind so out of touch, six more as I wonder what is to much, went from a childish phase to using it as a crutch, so these days it seems like a must, and please just know that I say that with so much disgust, I hate that this drug is the only ******* thing I can trust, a cause labeled so unjust, potentially fatal flights until I'm ashes and dust, after I'm gone these words are all that will remain, I wonder what they will remember when they hear my name, will they smile and rejoice or shake their heads in shame, I just hope that you never know the feeling of this pain, that you never have to venture into the rain,i pray you are never just another soul slain, these words are starting to blur so for now I must go, but first there is something I would like you to know, I have so much love for you even though it may not always show, you changed my life in more ways than you will ever know, but it looks as though the tide is beginning to rise, I guess I've never been good at goodbyes, so please let not a perfect vision escape your eyes, don't ruin the ending let it come as a surprise...
Sep 28, 2021
Sep 28, 2021 at 3:11 AM UTC
One in the morning and my mind just won't stop, replaying the memories from my climb to the top, as i reached the peak i closed my eyes and let my mind drop, watched as it took flight into the open air, now when they look into my eyes they can't seem to find any traces of my soul there, dealt a hand that I've never considered fair, dex and insanity labeled the perfect pair, i look at my life and i am filled with a feeling of utter disgust, looking at all these people not knowing who i can trust, only with hushed whispers is this beast discussed, and you wonder why i say this **** is a must, i could probably live without using it as a crutch, but over the last seven years i have buried so much, an intergalactic being walking around so out of touch, I'm absolutely obsolete, I'm completely incomplete, in a downward spiral with the heavens at my feet, praying that when i go that we will finally be able to meet, but i see hells winds beginning to blow as i slowly feel the heat, met death at the door and asked him to take a seat, please listen closely because this is something i can never repeat, something always brings me back to this cold dark place, wishing i could be just another passing face, someone that will be easy to replace, God i hope that is the case, only because they have all been through so much already, chain smoking trying to keep my hands steady, after you departed my heart felt so ******* heavy, so of course when death came the first time i was waiting and ready, he caught me off guard the second time, they screamed as i flattened a second line, i wish i could explain this mind of mine, but i really don't have the time, wouldn't even understand if you knew the places I've seen, lost my mind at just sixteen, can't justify the things I've done, the last seven years spent denying I was on the run, and don't you know that since we met you have been the only one, each night praying that she doesn't have to bury another son, but I'm looking at another eight, on a daily basis defying fate, thoughts of that trip life gave that stone a second date, if death is inevitable then why wait, six grams have me wondering if you are waiting at heavens gate, abusing life not knowing when I will go, even in the darkest of nights my mind will glow, that doesn't mean I haven't been to the bottom though, because I've been lower than low, I've had that bottle to my temple wanting nothing more than to let it blow, this addiction is worse than they will ever know, just praying that my eyes don't let it show, the trip comes so fast and the pain leaves so slow, abusing life because I may never know tomorrow..
May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 7:21 PM UTC
She had music in her soul
A heart made of gold
Her future, a fairytale waiting to be told
He had a heart that was oh so cold
A soul that seemed centuries old
His past, a tragic tale never to be retold
Her eyes were ever so bright
They resembled the stars at night
A life where everything seemed so right
For years he followed her guiding light
From the lowest low to the highest height
But you know what they say about the deception of sight
Now he is covered in invisible scars
Nothing more than reminders of his journey through the stars.
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 3:29 AM UTC
Her eyes,
A turbulent sea.
Her hands,
A saving grace.
Her heart,
Anything but unbreakable.
Her love,
My only true desire.
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 11, 2016 at 10:37 AM UTC
I did it to freeze the flame, did it to ease the pain, i did it till I went insane, all just to forget a name.
Mar 4, 2016
Mar 4, 2016 at 5:06 PM UTC
Watch as the stars fall from the nights sky, listen as the moon begins to cry, believe as the world continues to lie, they say true love can never really die, that if its meant to be you dont even have to try, now the sun is up there all alone, lonely in the sky they all once called home, the feelings that have grown, the ones that aren't shown, hear him groan, as his soul begins to moan, I am climbing a ladder that is forever higher, now my arms begin to tire, falling towards the pyre, born a lie died a liar, heat from hells fire, perfection is something no man should admire, because after all its the real feelings that we fake, the connections that we make, the hearts that break, everything we learn after the last mistake, the things that our hearts can take, and endless supply of joy, a girl that fell for a boy, if this isn't it then love must have a decoy, watch as I spin the earth only to destroy, whats more is the fact that its silent as I do so, not a single soul let go, but I had good intentions though, the thoughts come slow, but the knowledge so fast, swore on my last, three letters after I have passed, staring at my past, wondering how long this trip will last, watched as it crashed, couldn't believe my eyes, syrup to silence the cries, lies to cover more lies, a mind that pries, a soul that never dies, so just look at this world through my eyes, tell me you could handle that, that you could come back from flat, you would gladly welcome the black, as long as you didn't have to ever go back, believe me I've been there this whole time, just me and this mind of mine.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 6:59 PM UTC
The days are dark and the nights so **** long, where the hell did I go wrong, this temptation is so far beyond strong, but that life will be the death of me, gave it so much but I swore it wouldn't take the rest of me, wouldn't you know I gave you what was left of me, you were my heart the breath of me, but I guess that just wasn't meant to be, I guess you'll look back and realize what you meant to me, all these thoughts are breaking me down mentally, it was a cold November night the first time I met death, after that I started abusing each and every breath, I only did it because I didn't know how much time I had left, and when it comes to heartache I just can't cope like most do, doing things I know I'm not supposed to, I just can't explain how it feels losing someone you're close to, looking in the mirror I can't believe what I see, surely this isn't me, it just can't be, what happened to the bright blue eyes that I used to see, now they are dull grey and empty, a tortured soul yearning to be free,
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 6:43 PM UTC
Don't know how I made it this long in this condition, seven years from one decision, I know you don't like to listen, it looks so easy but it isn't, there's so much hidden, so much you'll never know, they've been through enough so there's so much I'll never let show, I'm afraid I can't keep it hidden though, the years have taken there toll, the tears continue to roll, another late night stroll, I'm sorry for all the time I stole, I honestly thought you were the one, you made me turn around when I was about to run, you took my hand even though you knew everything I had done, but you were as heartless as they come, made me contemplate making her burry another son, faced everything I had ever hidden from, one day I'll forget that part of my life, but not tonight..
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 6:38 PM UTC
At a young age I fell in love with the stars, I dreamt of making a home amongst them, but deep down I knew that they would always be just out of reach.
Then the day came that our paths crossed, the first time I looked into your eyes I saw them, the very things I had spent my life wishing for, I saw hope, a future, so much endless possibility, I saw the stars.
But that view wouldn't last long, I never listened when they told me of your wicked ways, how you would use me and leave me lying broken on the ground after you had what you wanted.
Never would I have imagined things ending up the way they are now, I was so certain I knew how it all ended, I was just so sure I was right.
I put everything I had into loving you, but that was never enough for you was it, I lost myself in those stars, I lost myself in you..
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 9, 2016 at 7:47 AM UTC
It used to be the demons under my bed
Now they're the demons in my head
Constantly demanding to be fed
Eating at my sanity till it's gone
Every last shred..
Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 9:59 AM UTC