I will not apologise.
I will not apologise for never fully giving you my heart.
I will not apologise for hurting when you were not.
I will not apologise for not hurting when you were.
Because I am not sorry.
I have apologised for every single thing
for as long as I could remember -
head down, “sorry” this, “sorry” that -
and you know what? I am done.
You were in the roots of my hair,
in every cell of this god ****** body.
And the heaving craters within my veins,
made by insecurities coming crashing down,
are evidence of a battle hard won.
Too long have I fought the reflection of a mirror,
too many times the jagged pieces won.
Now I am marching back to my native land
to be reunited with the home I’ve made in my soul.
I will not apologise for leaving your war.
I will not apologise for not being you.
I will not apologise for being me.
I will not apologise for anything.
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014 at 7:23 AM UTC
i. I've fallen for the way you write certain letters in two separate strokes, almost as if telling them that every single part of them is unique and deserves more.
ii. The way our nails are shaped the same, as if our bodies were made to match, if only barely.
iii. When you grind your teeth while arguing with me. As though your mere teeth could crush everything you ever hated about me.
iv. Or as if you could trample all of the words you didn't want to hear me say.
v. There are thousands of buildings I'd jump off to remind myself of how it felt to fall for you.
vi. I liked the adrenaline of falling but I'm done falling for you.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
There's a lot of things I don't believe in,
but you're not one of them.
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 7:26 PM UTC
I’m made of bones and blood,
and those bones,
unbroken and holding me up,
is proof of my survival.
And though there is emptiness and fear hiding inside,
put together with the will to keep going,
I know I am stronger than ever.
And there is salt in my blood
from the days where tears infiltrated
into the valleys I built to hide in.
But the oxygen inside each blood cell
is proof that I’m still breathing.
I’m alive. I’m alive!
And I’m trying my best not to forget that.
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 29, 2014 at 12:03 AM UTC
His skin was clean.
There were no scars,
there were no daily reminders
of the sins he had committed.
And you tried to think
for so impossibly long and hard
when was the last time
yours had been clean too.
Because no matter how long
you had beaten back temptation
you always saw something
other than clear skin.
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 3:00 AM UTC
When we kissed, I fell
into the grave you dug.
I loved you so dearly,
I forgot to love me.
You said, "goodbye, for now."
I said, "stay, for awhile."
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 16, 2013 at 10:05 AM UTC
My dear:
I hope you know,
that I love you, truly.
More than you'd ever see,
more than I could ever show.
I love you,
so please don't go.
I love you so,
please don't go.
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 6, 2013 at 11:58 AM UTC
There’s a scar on my heart that refuses to fade
– an unwanted companion of sorts,
and it’s building bridges that can’t be burnt
and unlocking cobwebbed doors
with keys I thought I had long buried.
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 9:04 AM UTC
Put you close to my heart
and tell you that you are
*so ******* beautiful.*
I want so badly
to kiss every inch
of your battle weary skin,
whispering sweet nothings
about how terrifyingly beautiful the jagged,
taunting lines are.
But I cannot bear to encourage this war.
You are beautiful because
you saw ugliness
and you saw pain,
yet your faith in the world,
or God, or humans,
or something,
made you stay and witness more
despite your own suffocating darkness.
But I will not encourage this war.
The faceless, jeering voices inside -
they are not real.
They will not win.
They are bullies in a pre-school courtyard.
It's hard to walk away but
eventually you learn to tune them out.
Their unworldly presence is not beautiful
so they take over your mind to compensate.
End this war.
The casualties canceled out any victory
the moment blood was first spilt.
Sep 21, 2013
Sep 21, 2013 at 9:48 PM UTC