It doesn't matter what happens
Though I'd like to control what will
I don't know how, what and when
But I do know one thing,
I want you and I choose you
No matter how lost I am in the darkness and chaos in my head
There's nothing that could keep my vision away from you
In every version of reality
All of it combined and all kept apart
It would say the same
It would say,
I want you in forever
And choose you for always
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 22, 2016 at 7:28 PM UTC
I usually know how to say how I feel, but this sadness is too great
Can't write it beautifully, just cry
Every waking moment tears are streaming, nothing can stop them from falling
I wrote you a letter
That you will carry with you forever
I'm sorry
I cannot say
Or write
Anything great
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 7:43 PM UTC
I kept telling myself the same things over and over again in my head
Told myself to stay strong
To not shed a tear
And to continue to laugh
But when he said that he's okay with it and that it didn't really matter
I did break
I broke
Although, in that moment
I did stay strong
I didn't shed a tear in his presence
And I laughed at his way of telling the story behind the casino on the cruise
I dred looking back at photo's of him
Because it will never be again
The only man who I've ever called 'daddy'
Just he who heard that word come out of my mouth
He, had his last Christmas
And we have spent it together
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 11, 2016 at 7:37 PM UTC
You make me want to write, think and shout every beautiful word that’s in my vocabulary
But nothing could ever tell you how gorgeous you are
So, I’ll just stick with ‘perfect'
For now
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 3, 2016 at 6:14 PM UTC
I think I'm losing my mind
What am I saying?
Because
Really
I've lost it many years ago.
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 8:01 PM UTC
I want to feel your love
But once again I forgot
Somewhere I know
But I don't feel it anymore
Worried that your friends mean more
To you than me
I want to be the only one
Although that thought is sick
Want you to be with me
Us together
Always
Be together
Hate everything that keeps us apart
Even when I know that's wrong
It's what I feel
And it makes me feel
Some sort of shame
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC
He seems
So careless
But I know
There is more
The things that don’t show
But in the inside it is full
Getting
To know
Every bit
Of him
Afraid of what he does not care about
Loving him for the way he thinks
How he
Was always
There
He cared
He cares about more than it shows
Let’s me see his mind like never before
I am
Starting
To love
Him even more
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 6:08 AM UTC
I am walking down this path
And I can see
The different colors around me
And the brown fallen leaves
The cloudy but bright color of the sky
A peaceful creek and the slowly streaming water inside
I am walking down this path
And I can smell
The fresh air
And the scent of the dirt on my shoes
The raindrops from last night
A lost daisy in the grass
I am walking down this path
And I can hear
The steps that I happily take
And the playing music in my head
The birds flapping their wings as they soothingly fly away
A mouse that is still awake
I am walking down this path
And I can feel
The light that shines through the branches of the trees
And the warmth it leaves on my skin
The soft breeze touching my loose wavy hair
A feeling that will soon go away, even though I wish it would stay
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 6:54 PM UTC
Time after time,
It happened again
I am drowning in my tears and don’t remember how to swim
No strength to keep my head up and breathe
Only suffocation by the darkness and the devastating rain
No way of living, no way of trying
Time after time,
I cannot see a thing
It rains so hard, it blocks my sight
Darkness in my brain
I feel nothing but misery
Hopelessness in the worst kind of way
Time after time,
It happened once more
Don’t know how to stay
Though I cannot say goodbye
Too exhausted to find the right words and scribble them down on the piece of paper beside me
I wish I could
Time after time,
I don’t know how to say
It happens all the time
Tell me how to fight the dark when I’m too sad to even lift my fingertip
I want to stay, I want to fight
But I’m tired of staying and I can no longer fight
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 6:49 PM UTC
A thousand words could not compare to the feeling of your touch
The sun can shine its brightest, but it won’t bring me the light of your existence
I get lost in your eyes, hoping they will never look away
The darkness in my head fades as you always make me laugh
Light surrounds me and fills my body with warmth just by the thought of your presence
You make me feel like I have found everything that was lost
Loving you is the greatest privilege I’ve ever endured
Saying ‘I love you,’ will never be enough to tell you how much I care about you,
How much I think about you, how much I feel for you
Your mind, never leaves mine
The colors you bring me, are the ones I never expected to see
I may be broken, but with you I am more whole than I’ve ever been
Our hands fit like my whole world just clicked and made it all alright
You are everything that’s supposed to be
The laugh to my smile, the sunshine through the rain
Your eyes tell me all the things I need to hear,
And so they tell me
I want you,
All of you.
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 6:44 PM UTC