I had to choose
Between being a poet
And keeping myself sane
I, as a poet
Would gaze into your iris
As you slept so peacefully in my bed
In spite of your absence
I, as a poet
Would relish as your fingers grazed over my body
As your breath sounded rough in my ear
Even when you're nowhere to be found
Or especially then
I, as a poet
Would write long exhausting words
Describing each aspect of being in love with you
Ignoring the dull ache in my hollowed out chest
Refusing to acknowledge my scars
I, as a poet
Would watch the glory of my stomach curving in
Saying no yet to another meal
I would feed lies to any pair of ears
That'd still to bear to hear them
The poet living inside my walls
Her love is an existential eternity
Her love is pretentious
But her love is her
I had to choose
Between being a poet
And keeping myself sane
To stop the voices in my head
Although I'm still not sure what I chose
For now
My voices agree with me
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014 at 8:49 AM UTC
Take my hand
Lead me to the black inferno in my heart
Leave me there
Don't come back
Let me burn in your wrath
and
Lick the flames
Take me to a fresh Evergreen
Kiss my breath
Make sure you never kiss me again
Let me revisit the dying leaves all alone
and
Let me gnaw my lips to taste my blood
But never let me taste you again
Swim with me in waters of plenty
Just as our feet feel nothing
Cup my face in your hands
Tickle my cheek for one last time
Break me with your gaze
Then swim away
Let me try and recall the depths of your eyes
But never let me look into them again
Love me for a single moment
Let me inhale your memory
and
Breathe in my masochism
Let me gently fade away
and
Be shattered in the blowing wind
Don't try and find me
I will be far beyond your reach
Don't you dare look back
Just be my memory
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 1:01 PM UTC
It would be much too dangerous to talk about
Or remember at all
That night
A piercing scream from behind
A clatter of fallen crockery on the floor
Crimson fills the apron she wore
I do not yet think to ask how or why
My heart beats a silent cry
I kneel beside to feel her warmth
All I feel are empty eyes slice into my soul
My eyes look over the pool of red
Gathered by the drops her body shed
But for the blood, she can be lost in dreams
I think, as I imagine her pale in peace
Grabbing a mop
I cleanse her of the damaging dye
Her body now remains uncoloured, untainted
Of that which still inflames her quintessence
She's been marked, I realise
In an irreparable scarlet
All action, all words- scattered on the tiles
Lying broken and futile
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 12:51 PM UTC
Sometimes I dream
Of our breath
As one
And as I moan
We burn
Together
Your lips
Tracing a scar
On my thighs
Sometimes I dream
Of our blood
As one
And as we bleed
The crimson drops flow away
Together
Taking with it who we were
Mingling
Into a sick river
I can't help but smile
Even death cannot do us apart
Sometimes I dream
Of a knife
Against my throat
Your fingers clasped around it
You pull my hair
You clench your teeth
You are the cause
Of my misery
The love I feel for you
Does not fade
Though you slowly **** me
Or especially because
Of that
But
You are away
Far away
While I am here
The haunt I feel inside
I soothe it with sleepless nights
With men I don't love
Because
You are with her
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 6:41 AM UTC
My breath
Must be
At the price of
A cut
A scar
The scarlet beads
Will slowly seep away
And drain my veins
But
They will fill my lungs
With the air I need
And eventually
I shall fall into a
Dreamless sleep
I was never meant to breathe
~r.w.
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 5:08 AM UTC
Do not fall in love
With people like me.
people like me
will love you so hard
that you turn into stone
into a statue where people
come to marvel at how long
it must have taken to carve
that faraway look into your eyes
Do not fall in love with people like me
we will take you to
museums and parks
and monuments
and kiss you in every beautiful
place so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting us
like blood in your mouth
Do not come any closer.
people like me
are bombs
when our time is up
we will splatter loss
all over your walls
in angry colors
that make you wish
your doorway never
learned our name
do not fall in love
with people like me.
with the lonely ones
we will forget our own names
if it means learning yours
we will make you think
hurricanes are gentle
that pain is a gift
you will get lost
in the desperation
in the longing for something
that is always reaching
but never able to hold
do not fall in love
with people like me.
we will destroy your
apartment
we will throw apologies at you
that shatter on the floor
and cut your feet
we will never learn
how to be soft
we will leave.
we always do.
Do Not Fall in Love With People Like Me,
alonesomes (via alonesomes.tumblr)
Via Thisisablanksheet.tumblr
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 5:38 AM UTC
And while she struggles in opaque
She manages to swim
She sees a white lily cast in scarlet within
She gazes at it and then yet again
A step close and another closer-
To soon lie between the petals when all she sees
Is the peaceful light she can hope to be
She reaches out and hides away
Her dark sins and morbid shades
Concealed in joy with just her means
To cease to be nothing but a fair lily
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 8:01 AM UTC
For the longest time
I groped
In the darkness
Drowning
But hoping
For a sole breath
That wouldn't be
At the price of
My blood
For the longest time
I was sad
My tears
Carving
A trail down my cheeks
A trickle of blood
Burning
Through my misery
Leaving a destruction
Crueller
In it's wake
For the longest time
I was at peace
With my broken pieces
The ragged shards
That cut me
And made me bleed
Acquainting me
With who I was
Who I was meant to be
I was in love
With my sadness
And now
As I look
Into your shine
My eyes
Are bruised
Wounded
By your light
I am blinded
By everything that I never was
That I could only ever pretend to be
If only you knew
What you think I am
Is just a reflection
Of your own brilliance
And now
I know
I am not meant
To be blithe
Living is not meant for all
Living is not meant for me
I was not blessed
With a chance
To freely breathe
It must be
At the price of
A cut
A scar
The scarlet beads
That will slowly seep away
And drain my veins
But fill my lungs
With the air I need
And so
I shall watch you
From afar
While your eyes
Dance in glee
I shall drown
In my own misery
Because this is where
I was meant to be
And not where
You were meant to breathe
I was never meant to breathe
~r.w.
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 7:52 AM UTC
It slowly creeps on
I am unaware
Until I am immersed
And I know now
I cannot be helped
In all my despair and soundless screams
In and around me the pain does keep
Keep me drowning in the depths
And as I struggle for my breath
I see fiery beads of scarlet
Seeping waters engulf my frame
Tainting all in its inviting flame
In a trance I slash the slices
Breathing finally as the drops pool
Pool into a sick river of red
But this time- on it flows
All around and in me echoes loud
A deathly ringing radio silence
~r.w.
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 5:38 AM UTC
You weave a heart breaking story
Of a woman oh so shivering cold
With fury raging like the fires of hell
And the indifferent heart of a ghost
She was too beautiful, you say
Hauntingly beautiful
Her ivory strands of hair, her full red lips
It all never left your mind
You weave the saddest tragedy
Of a woman that made your veins freeze
You weave a story so empty of love and warmth
While your eyes fill with tears
She broke me, you say
She never thought to heal me, you say
She scarred me as she pretended to love me, you say
But she spins a story so firm and fond
And as you engulfed her, bit by bit,
She said not a word, but those of loving want
And as you chewed her innocence away
Scarlet beads seeped from her stubborn wounds
She bled and bled and bled
And despite your indifference to her sweeping blood
She loyally clenched as tight as she could
Yet she spins a story so tight and true
And as you slowly crushed her & her frame
She stood on the pieces and made herself tall
She grimaced in pain and whispered your name
You paid no heed, and so she looked away
From her shoulder, she brushed it all off
Though they tell tales of incidents alike
Different people tell the same story twice
Which one would you believe?
~rw
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 5:35 AM UTC