My soul lies at the bottom of a cold glass bottle,
I live my life full throttle conscious and wild,
With unfathomable sorrow in the bottom of my scorned black heart,
I play fast and loose with love and idle madness,
Its the fruit of my life that gets me through.
Everyday is like Russian roulette in my mind,
Everyday I take a sip but the truth gets harder to find,
It doesn’t exist at the bottom of a bottle,
Yet everyday I desperately search for the answers,
Everyday I fall just a little behind,
It’s an unwinnable game that I constantly lose
everyday I slip closer to the end with no light in sight,
Yet it’s the little fruit of my life that helps get me through.
Sometimes I feel like a god, sometimes I feel like a roach in a pool,
Sometimes I feel like a king, sometimes I feel like a fool,
Sometimes I feel like the very essence of life,
sometimes I feel like the darkest cold death,
But it’s the spark in my lungs, it’s the fire in my stomach,
The Uniqueness! of my essence, and the freedom of my will,
but I’m still just a slave with a bullet in my head,
I have to drench my soul and drown my burdens,
For now it’s the fruit of my life that gets me through.
Nov 12, 2023
Nov 12, 2023 at 9:11 PM UTC
My life was written in the scriptures but the scriptures had no name,
Somewhere in the darkness a candle burns a metallic ghostly flame,
Been living half alive ever since the devil fixed the game,
I’m just a dead man walking and the cards are stacked,
My hearts a rusty ball and chain,
My fate is sealed the flame is dead, all your demons live in me,
But when I die the demons cry and my soul will finally be free
Aug 25, 2019
Aug 25, 2019 at 3:26 PM UTC
Don’t want this life
Don’t need this life
Never asked for it
Can’t escape
Fenceless prisoner
Life sentence
Gone baby
Gone
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 18, 2019 at 7:09 PM UTC
My stolen love,
My lifeless dead,
I’m nothing but a phase,
Just a jester for love,
Methodically killing my heart,
The bearings strained,
My soul desperately screams,
Nobody listens,
Self crushing salvation,
The calming song of silent distress,
My sins paved the way,
I stare in the mirror,
Into my cold grey eyes,
I see ghosts,
A hollowed hell of crushing temptation,
A shell of despair,
Half of what I used to be,
And everything I never was,
A gun on my lap,
A bottle in my hand,
shaking,
Here it comes...,
Nothing,
Just numb,
Tired of creating something from nothing,
Boy I can feel something coming,
Benevolent self hate under the dying moon,
Am I reaching the stars?
Am I searching for nothing?
I can’t find her,
I guess I’ll love the death in myself
Aug 15, 2019
Aug 15, 2019 at 6:30 PM UTC
Every night I search for love,
I grasp anywhere I can to fill my void,
The things I do to pretend you care,
The time I spend just to feel your touch,
My passion is so strong,
I know you only for the night,
But I fight for your affection like a soldier at war,
I’d rather die than to feel unloved,
I need to escape my lonely darkness,
I’ve spent too much time in my personal hell,
I’m worthless,
I’m tired,
But tonight I’ll have you,
Tonight you’ll be mine and tonight I’ll be yours,
Tomorrow you’ll be gone and back into my darkness I’ll go,
Back into my self destructive cage,
Right back into my lonely hell,
I’ll be useless again,
Until the next time,
When I find your love for the night
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 6, 2019 at 2:04 PM UTC
I’m used over and over again,
my prostituted heart, it’s all temporary love,
everyone leaves, with my heart on my sleeve,
I give everything I have,
I jump through hoops for affection,
I beg for her love,
I desperately need you,
why am I treated like this,
I look to the sky, I ask for mercy,
please give me my eternal fix,
give me her smile, give me her voice,
I can listen forever,
give me her touch, give me her warmth,
I can hold her endlessly,
she doesn’t stay, why is it so easy to go,
I’m left in despair, she’s all I need,
but she’s always gone, always out of my reach,
down and out, I’m left used and forgotten,
I’ll never know true love,
I belong alone, I deserve to be used,
so just leave me,
used and alone
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 4, 2019 at 5:27 PM UTC
Superstitious goblins project images of divine consciousness, forbidden fruits of knowledge, unforgiving droughts of tranquility, I’m mad, I’m reckless, savage screams of yellow disenchantment, suffocating on insane misery, people speak but don’t say anything, my life, oh god my life!, I’m dead in my lifetime,
I’ll be nothing forever
Jul 27, 2019
Jul 27, 2019 at 10:00 AM UTC
Drinking away the cold reality,
sipping away at the truth,
smell of revolution in the air,
the township rebellion weeps,
radically violent love,
surpressing undignified hate,
**** the cop in yourself, stomp the ghosts in your head,
destroy your masters,
Sweet negation, oh sweet negation!,
Burn down the walls of infinite discontent,
Live your life,
Live for yourself,
The forever insurrection,
The creative nothing,
We are the unique,
Guillotine your captures,
Free your mind, free your body, free your beautiful life!
May 30, 2019
May 30, 2019 at 7:58 PM UTC
No more time left,
held back by false pretense,
suspenseful lust,
prisoners of want,
superstitious compilations,
chasing stars,
chasing freedom,
pockets of sand,
we gain all but dust,
whiskey in my veins,
pain in my heart,
my criminal soul,
****** from the start,
enter my hell,
where was god,
gaze into fear,
a broken man,
sealed my fate,
my deal with the devil,
problem child,
reckless love,
lifeless ambition,
corrupted existence,
capital sin,
unbridled resistance,
live for me,
die for me,
bleed for me,
cry for me,
make peace with death,
make war with hate,
the end is near,
except your fate
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 3:54 PM UTC
Nothing is sacred,
nothing matters,
we destroy everything beautiful, our self destructive bliss,
kissing hell goodnight, the angels weep,
my vacant soul cries, I can’t keep going,
I gain nothing, I die everyday,
society lied to me, anxiety kills my will,
I’ve never lived, I know I’ve lost,
I know I deserve it, every second hurts,
I can’t stop thinking, please mend my heart,
please end my suffering, I need sanctuary,
I need love, I need someone,
dwindling light, deadly sin,
Silent screams, I tried my best,
I’m lost,
I’m tired
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 5, 2018 at 7:28 PM UTC