I didn't know what hit me
A roller coaster ride of emotions
One day I'm happy
Next, I'm tired
I didn't know what hit me
Your love so overwhelming
You caught me off-guard
A love so ecstatic
A love so pure
A love so beautiful
And I can't take it all in
I'm unlovable
Can't even take hugs seriously
Can't even make my own cup of coffee
Can't even make my brain be happy
But you taught me how to
You taught me all the things I can't even teach myself
You made me do all the things I won't even try
You even made me love myself.
But you were never mine
Never mine to begin with
Never mine to end this
Aug 11, 2020
Aug 11, 2020 at 9:10 PM UTC
In the middle of the night
My world stopped spinning
Moments when you walked out of the door
Head is spinning
and my eyes are ******* sore
I knew
-------this will be my last
I loved you
I loved you too much
I was too stupid
Too stupid to know how love works
Too young to know how it should be
Too naive to make it mine
I had to take this break
I have to take the blame
I thought I love you
and I dreamed that you loved me too
Sorry for me being stupid
Sorry for not recognizing the signs
I was drunk of the notion that you love me back
I have to pull the trigger
and I know this is better for me too.
Jun 1, 2018
Jun 1, 2018 at 6:44 AM UTC
Is there anybody out there?
When I'll shout to the cosmos
Will someone reply?
Let me out
Let me out of this world
Drenched in blood
Stormed by bullets
Drowned in violence
Will someone rise?
A hero, a knight, or god maybe?
Will they here what I have to say?
Will humanity change the way it is?
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 15, 2018 at 6:42 AM UTC
The clock strikes 12
Memories came knocking on my head
I thought a new day is a new beginning
but why am I still struggling?
The clock strikes 12
Tick, tock, tick, tock
Why does midnight remind me of you?
Leaving me to sing songs
Of sadness and monochrome hues
Why do days need beginnings?
Why do days always had to end?
Why do fairy tales need happy endings?
What if there is no once upon a time?
Singing songs of blues
Everything that I had
was in jeopardy of being lost
Why do I need to hit reset?
When all I wanted was a rewind.
Apr 9, 2018
Apr 9, 2018 at 7:52 AM UTC
Let me go home
Let me go home my love
The sorrows I have dealt
I can't deal with it no more
I'll exchange my everything
Just to gain happiness
Just lead me home
Just lead me home, my princess
Lend me your heart
Lend me your heart my love
The happiness that you bring
I want to take it all
I'll give you my everything
Just to feel your beat
Just let me lend it for a bit
Lend it for a bit
Let me listen to your voice
Let me listen to your words, my love
When the wind whistle on a cold night
Trees sway in pale
Cicadas fill the noises
Let me dance to your tune
Let me dance to your music
Let me dance on our campfire
Let me sing in the darkness
Let me shout for your name
Let me hear your heartbeat
Let me
Just let me.
For I am afraid
I am afraid of the world you drew me into.
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 8:10 AM UTC
Where were you when the lights grew dark
When I was alone at a blank space from morning till dawn
What type of love you have shown
Who gave you the notion that love is something to be thrown
Why give me I love yous when you freely give it away in your phone
Oct 1, 2017
Oct 1, 2017 at 5:55 AM UTC
A pathway lit with the lamps for the night
Winter's slowly crawling through
Took a deep breath then sighed
As I took off my earphones
I started to cry
As I was playing Beethoven
Something inside died
Someone took my heart
Flashbacks begun to start
I remembered when I played Fur Elise
You slept crying
Trying to hide something
Something you did not want me to know
Hid it deep, deep down below
Ran as fast as I can
Just to catch up to you
But I was late
Now past eight
and I just stood at the door gazin'
You were like an angel
Now dressed in white
Surrounded by flowers and light
Sorry, I haven't seen you in a while
You were as beautiful as the sunset
and grander than the bluebonnet
Walking towards you
Holding my tears back
Heart was heavy
As I glanced at you
One last time
Regrets came rushing
Picked up my phone and ran out
Shouted to the heavens
Cursed at the gods
Bargained to let me see her alive one last time
All you gave me was music
The songs, the meanings, the lyrics
The notes, the keys, the rhythm
Slowly I returned inside
and played your gift
I opened the piano
It was childhood all over again
Played your favorite piece, Love's Sorrow
I saw an image of you
Every stroke it was painful
Every note I was hurting
As memories came flushing
and the song showed me
how it made you smile and cry
I want to dance with you again, Ma
I will play a song and loop it for eternity
I want you to sing for me again
And I'll play the piano for you
I will gladly be
I'll dance for you
Even if my feet does not want me to
I'll write you endless songs
Just be with me one last time
I'll tell you stories
When you can't fall asleep
I'll kiss your forehead, Ma
and I'll tell you I will always be here
and you will be with me
I ended the piece
Like how you always ended your's
and I know you'll be in peace
Because all I saw you smiling
One last time
Oct 1, 2017
Oct 1, 2017 at 5:20 AM UTC
It was the saddest moment of my life
and I can't cry
I just can't
It was the saddest moment of my life
and I'm just lying on my bed
From morning till night
It was the saddest moment of my life
and I can't hate you
It was the saddest moment of my life
and you are not here
My demons, my shadows
Whatever you might call it
My darkness, the abyss
Is eating me alive
Storms raging through my mind
Crying for help
Crying for shelter
For what I needed most I cannot find
It was all happening inside of me
A sky,darker than black
Pain that somehow stopped the clock
and some part of me died
I stopped crying for help
As waters from the deep ocean flooded my lungs
But I can still breathe
But I still can live
I was dead
But my body is moving
Wearing a fake face
With a grin on it
I was dead
But I was still talking
Somewhat hiding from people
For I was afraid to show my scars
I was dead
But I was still thinking
Thinking if I disappear
Will they cheer?
But the sad thing is,
Every single day was my saddest moment of my life
Every single day I wanted to die
Every single day I wanted to cry
But every single day
I just can't
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017 at 8:01 AM UTC
If you don't love me anymore
Just tell me
If things got bored
Just hold me
If our story is not meant to be
I'll let you go
But if I let you go
Mind if I tell you this?
Hummingbirds become flocks of crow
Skies go dark and the winds are cold
As the sun grew dimmer
And the land grew pale
As my whole world came down crashing
As flashbacks ran through my mind
Your friends still laughing
Because I was not always fine
The rush of emotions
The guilt,the regrets
The moments I should have took
No,I'm just useless
No matter where I look
The pandemonium inside of me
The screams
The whispers
For all I had left
Is my memory with you
But I wore a mask
Just to hide
Hide the tears that came flowing
The scratches painted through my skin
and swollen fists when I fought walls
Bathe myself with alcohol
Just waiting for you to call
But I guess I will never get it
and never even think about it
For I will never be okay
Perhaps not today
But when I'll get over you
I don't even have a clue
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 10:35 AM UTC
Hiding beneath the darkest of caves
Where few dared to enter
A pale glow of light it gave
As you started to shiver
Torches lit as you broke in
And sirens that spelled doom
But you did not run away
Your courage did not even sway
You walked through cold halls
Your a girl but you had *****
What was your goal?
The wishes or my presence?
Alas! You found me
Rubbing the lamp gently
and I still remember that day
As I came out and say,
"Oh sweet,sweet lord
Awake from deep slumber
The genie of the lamp
and dazzled against your lap"
You wore a mask
But your eyes were too beautiful
I did not even know what to ask
Your name?
Your wishes but only three?
You wished for beauty
I gave you a mirror
You were angered
Asked what is this for?
You wished for a immortality
I gave you poems
For words never die
But you replied, "sigh"
The last thing you asked was love
and I happily through myself unto you
You nearly sobbed
But you smiled when I told you this,
"I will always be your genie of the lamp
If ever you need me
I will always help
as your knight in shining armor"
"I will always be here
For I will never depart you
Because you were the one
Who drew me out
Who let me love
Who needed me when no one was around
For you will always be my master
and I, your servant"
May 30, 2017
May 30, 2017 at 6:58 AM UTC