the-lonely-remnants - Hello Poetry

He loves me, he loves me not, I pick petals off flowers like I count days passing in a week, My future depends on the outcome of wishbones, fallen eyelashes, and blowing dandelions, I love people like sunsets, Enamored by their beauty, but they always leave too soon, If only I could learn lessons as easy as I learn people, No matter how little time I have before you disappear behind the horizon, I will have memorized all the pieces that make you, I listen for you in everything I hear, I look for you in everything I see, Lately things have been so blue, not like the blue in your eyes, or the lilies and delphinium, Sometimes you’re the only ray of light on my dark days, And maybe when night comes to stay, we’ll only have ever been short time lovers, But your seat at my table will always be open, And I will always feel so lucky to have experienced the magic you brought to me.

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Aug 3, 2024

Aug 3, 2024 at 3:58 AM UTC

LLC

He loves me, he loves me not, I pick petals off flowers like I count days passing in a week, My future depends on the outcome of wishbones, fallen eyelashes, and blowing dandelions, I love people like sunsets, Enamored by their beauty, but they always leave too soon, If only I could learn lessons as easy as I learn people, No matter how little time I have before you disappear behind the horizon, I will have memorized all the pieces that make you, I listen for you in everything I hear, I look for you in everything I see, Lately things have been so blue, not like the blue in your eyes, or the lilies and delphinium, Sometimes you’re the only ray of light on my dark days, And maybe when night comes to stay, we’ll only have ever been short time lovers, But your seat at my table will always be open, And I will always feel so lucky to have experienced the magic you brought to me.

13

What do you do? What do you do when you’ve exhausted every other option? When it finally sinks in that no one will ever love you as much as you love them? When no other feeling is real. And pain starts to feel comforting. What now? Please. What can I do? You’re sand slipping through my fingers. You do it on purpose. All of you. You’re all oceans, And I’m a cliffside. Breaking off pieces of me every time it storms. It’s always brighter when I’m getting darker. I’m eclipsing. You’re just seeing glimpses of light peaking from my shadow. I can’t see you anymore. And you can only look at me through tinted glasses. If it was the other way, everything would be different. I would look at you till my eyes burned out. I would destroy myself to make sure you’re the only thing I’d ever see. A vision permanently etched in. I wish someone could love me that much. Just when I thought I had nothing left, I lost more. So, what do you do? What do you do when you’ve exhausted every other option? When it finally sinks in that no one will ever love you as much as you love them? When no other feeling is real. And pain starts to feel comforting. What now? Please. What can I do?

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Jun 15, 2022

Jun 15, 2022 at 4:09 AM UTC

I’m Eclipsing

What do you do? What do you do when you’ve exhausted every other option? When it finally sinks in that no one will ever love you as much as you love them? When no other feeling is real. And pain starts to feel comforting. What now? Please. What can I do? You’re sand slipping through my fingers. You do it on purpose. All of you. You’re all oceans, And I’m a cliffside. Breaking off pieces of me every time it storms. It’s always brighter when I’m getting darker. I’m eclipsing. You’re just seeing glimpses of light peaking from my shadow. I can’t see you anymore. And you can only look at me through tinted glasses. If it was the other way, everything would be different. I would look at you till my eyes burned out. I would destroy myself to make sure you’re the only thing I’d ever see. A vision permanently etched in. I wish someone could love me that much. Just when I thought I had nothing left, I lost more. So, what do you do? What do you do when you’ve exhausted every other option? When it finally sinks in that no one will ever love you as much as you love them? When no other feeling is real. And pain starts to feel comforting. What now? Please. What can I do?

33

That old familiar pull. I feel like an old man who’s lost his wife. He’s still here. Trying to take it one day at a time But she calls to him The siren song of an old friend Wading in the waters of time But mine isn’t a lost lover Mine is that dark and eerie feeling of impending doom That old familiar pull that tugs me away from the present We live my life together Watching from just above my body That horrible horrible feeling is the only thing that’s ever really stayed Always stepping on my toes when we slow dance in my head Our silence is harmonious Forever filling in my empty spots I drift away in its cold arms That old familiar pull It’s the soft pillow I scream into The burning in my throat The ringing in my ears The sweet reminder that I can be somebody else, by not being anyone at all.

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Mar 4, 2021

Mar 4, 2021 at 11:26 PM UTC

That Old, Familiar Pull

That old familiar pull. I feel like an old man who’s lost his wife. He’s still here. Trying to take it one day at a time But she calls to him The siren song of an old friend Wading in the waters of time But mine isn’t a lost lover Mine is that dark and eerie feeling of impending doom That old familiar pull that tugs me away from the present We live my life together Watching from just above my body That horrible horrible feeling is the only thing that’s ever really stayed Always stepping on my toes when we slow dance in my head Our silence is harmonious Forever filling in my empty spots I drift away in its cold arms That old familiar pull It’s the soft pillow I scream into The burning in my throat The ringing in my ears The sweet reminder that I can be somebody else, by not being anyone at all.

21

It’s just you here. They’re all gone. You’re talking to yourself like usual. Trying desperately to fill that ravenous need to talk to someone, to have someone to listen to. You’ve been walking in a circle, talking in a circle. The conversation can’t change. It’s only you here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. There is nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I’m sorry. It’s only you.

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Jan 31, 2021

Jan 31, 2021 at 2:38 AM UTC

Nothing Left.

It’s just you here. They’re all gone. You’re talking to yourself like usual. Trying desperately to fill that ravenous need to talk to someone, to have someone to listen to. You’ve been walking in a circle, talking in a circle. The conversation can’t change. It’s only you here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. There is nothing. Nothing. Nothing. I’m sorry. It’s only you.

1

Kitten, Princess, Sweet cheeks. They feel like a kiss on the forehead, Like fingers through your hair, Like feet gently touching under covers, They feel like “I love you”. But I know they’re not. I don’t want to hurt you, And you don’t want to hurt me. But how does that work if we’re both already hurt? I’m stuck in the past, You’re living in the present, And there is no future. This can’t be forever. If only I could find someone who talks to me like you do, treats me like you do, makes me feel the way you do, But they’re someone who wants to keep me. Someone who will love me for more than a day. But maybe that just isn’t out there for me. Maybe a day is the most I’ll ever get.

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Apr 13, 2019

Apr 13, 2019 at 4:24 AM UTC

One Day

Kitten, Princess, Sweet cheeks. They feel like a kiss on the forehead, Like fingers through your hair, Like feet gently touching under covers, They feel like “I love you”. But I know they’re not. I don’t want to hurt you, And you don’t want to hurt me. But how does that work if we’re both already hurt? I’m stuck in the past, You’re living in the present, And there is no future. This can’t be forever. If only I could find someone who talks to me like you do, treats me like you do, makes me feel the way you do, But they’re someone who wants to keep me. Someone who will love me for more than a day. But maybe that just isn’t out there for me. Maybe a day is the most I’ll ever get.

20

I don’t know who I am. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even real. Not dead, just a little lost. But very much alive. Maybe, too alive. Always thinking I think until I self destruct I think until I destroy every bit of reality Breathing, living, existing. All for nothing. But it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve come to accept insignificance. Processed that there is no true meaning. Nothing has a meaning. If there’s no meaning, I can’t truly ruin everything. With no meaning, comes emptiness but a little peace too. Maybe I will find contentment in my absolute, utter uselessness. Maybe, being nothing is okay.

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Nov 5, 2018

Nov 5, 2018 at 11:28 PM UTC

Growing

I don’t know who I am. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even real. Not dead, just a little lost. But very much alive. Maybe, too alive. Always thinking I think until I self destruct I think until I destroy every bit of reality Breathing, living, existing. All for nothing. But it doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve come to accept insignificance. Processed that there is no true meaning. Nothing has a meaning. If there’s no meaning, I can’t truly ruin everything. With no meaning, comes emptiness but a little peace too. Maybe I will find contentment in my absolute, utter uselessness. Maybe, being nothing is okay.

18

Breathe in, breathe out, then die. That’s what I’ve done for the past 4,271,344 seconds, and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to breathe anymore. I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m not even scared of dying, I am so so scared of living though. I wrote them a letter about who I am. Who I am is not what they want. Maybe it’s my fault for lying in the letter, I told them I was happy while holding back tears. I wonder when my lies will stop being enough for people to stop checking on me. Give them a smile, tell them “I’m okay”, and they’ll leave you to pick yourself apart. I’m so tired. And my ribs feel so heavy. But don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ll just breathe in, Breathe out. And die.

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May 20, 2018

May 20, 2018 at 1:30 AM UTC

Not What They Wanted

Breathe in, breathe out, then die. That’s what I’ve done for the past 4,271,344 seconds, and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to breathe anymore. I don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m not even scared of dying, I am so so scared of living though. I wrote them a letter about who I am. Who I am is not what they want. Maybe it’s my fault for lying in the letter, I told them I was happy while holding back tears. I wonder when my lies will stop being enough for people to stop checking on me. Give them a smile, tell them “I’m okay”, and they’ll leave you to pick yourself apart. I’m so tired. And my ribs feel so heavy. But don’t worry. I’m okay. I’ll just breathe in, Breathe out. And die.

17

None of it was real, was it? You told me you would never intentionally hurt me.... You told me a lot of things.. You could have made things so much easier for me, I would have preferred you to beat me until I couldn't walk, I would have preferred for you to just leave me, I would have preferred for you to be honest for once, I would have preferred for you to **** me with your bare hands, I Would Have Preferred Anything Else Because even the times you forced yourself on me, Didn't hurt this bad, Because at least then I could tell myself it was because you loved me, You said you did this because you wanted to hurt somebody, Well, you did, Me.

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Jun 16, 2017

Jun 16, 2017 at 1:44 PM UTC

Everything was a lie

None of it was real, was it? You told me you would never intentionally hurt me.... You told me a lot of things.. You could have made things so much easier for me, I would have preferred you to beat me until I couldn't walk, I would have preferred for you to just leave me, I would have preferred for you to be honest for once, I would have preferred for you to **** me with your bare hands, I Would Have Preferred Anything Else Because even the times you forced yourself on me, Didn't hurt this bad, Because at least then I could tell myself it was because you loved me, You said you did this because you wanted to hurt somebody, Well, you did, Me.

20

When the waves rose up behind you, And began to drag you away, I threw every piece of me out to keep you afloat, I couldn't let you die, I would sooner rip myself to shreds to save you, But when those vicious currents came after me, The undertow swept me away, And you just watched, You were too scared of the water to help me, I understood why, No one had ever been willing to possibly drown for me, I just thought you were different...

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Aug 2, 2016

Aug 2, 2016 at 10:24 PM UTC

Tides

When the waves rose up behind you, And began to drag you away, I threw every piece of me out to keep you afloat, I couldn't let you die, I would sooner rip myself to shreds to save you, But when those vicious currents came after me, The undertow swept me away, And you just watched, You were too scared of the water to help me, I understood why, No one had ever been willing to possibly drown for me, I just thought you were different...

12

From your perspective this cage may look like a home, But on the inside it looks like a prison, Sometimes you let me out, And in those moments I actually feel like a bird, Sometimes I spread my wings to feel the wind, And in those moments I can pretend I'm flying, I dream of soaring away from here, But you clipped my wings a long time ago, I know why the caged bird sings, Because maybe someone will hear it's cries, Maybe someone will try to save it, I just hope they aren't too late.

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Jul 22, 2016

Jul 22, 2016 at 1:08 AM UTC

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

From your perspective this cage may look like a home, But on the inside it looks like a prison, Sometimes you let me out, And in those moments I actually feel like a bird, Sometimes I spread my wings to feel the wind, And in those moments I can pretend I'm flying, I dream of soaring away from here, But you clipped my wings a long time ago, I know why the caged bird sings, Because maybe someone will hear it's cries, Maybe someone will try to save it, I just hope they aren't too late.

12