the-girl-you-thought-you-knew

I'm a senior. it hasn't hit me how little time I have left. I can't imagine that after this year, I have to choose what to do with the rest of my life. How do I determine how much I like something if I've never tried it? I can't fathom that I have to try to meet new people after this, that I won't be surrounded by the same faces I've had for 13 years. How am I a senior? I feel like I'm still just starting middle school. I'm a senior. How?

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Aug 19, 2021

Aug 19, 2021 at 1:04 PM UTC

SENIOR

I'm a senior. it hasn't hit me how little time I have left. I can't imagine that after this year, I have to choose what to do with the rest of my life. How do I determine how much I like something if I've never tried it? I can't fathom that I have to try to meet new people after this, that I won't be surrounded by the same faces I've had for 13 years. How am I a senior? I feel like I'm still just starting middle school. I'm a senior. How?

9

You are possibly the greatest thing to happen to me in a while. I have written about you before, but the longer I get to be yours, the longer I look forward to the future. For the longest time, I felt as if I was unlovable. That I was destined to be somebody's second choice, their backup, their least favorite. But to you, I'm your's, and you, luckily enough, are mine. We're getting close to a year of you loving me, and everything is completely polar to how it was back then. I was alone, isolated in my room for none to see and none to want. And then out of nowhere came you. You filled my quarantined days with excitement, with inside jokes, with secret smiles, with love. My darling, you are possibly the greatest thing.

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May 7, 2021

May 7, 2021 at 4:43 PM UTC

POSSIBLY THE GREATEST THING

You are possibly the greatest thing to happen to me in a while. I have written about you before, but the longer I get to be yours, the longer I look forward to the future. For the longest time, I felt as if I was unlovable. That I was destined to be somebody's second choice, their backup, their least favorite. But to you, I'm your's, and you, luckily enough, are mine. We're getting close to a year of you loving me, and everything is completely polar to how it was back then. I was alone, isolated in my room for none to see and none to want. And then out of nowhere came you. You filled my quarantined days with excitement, with inside jokes, with secret smiles, with love. My darling, you are possibly the greatest thing.

17

maybe i'm still longing and looking for the poem to end all poems. i need them to mean something to be great to be moving to be from me to you. i want that recognition from poets i don't want the attention, just to be told i'm good. i love to write, and maybe maybe i'm still good enough right now

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Apr 22, 2021

Apr 22, 2021 at 1:58 PM UTC

MAYBE

maybe i'm still longing and looking for the poem to end all poems. i need them to mean something to be great to be moving to be from me to you. i want that recognition from poets i don't want the attention, just to be told i'm good. i love to write, and maybe maybe i'm still good enough right now

10

Soft rains and sunshine white clouds and blue skies green leaves shaking trees pretty birds close suburbs tall mountains low plains people places our pretty Earth is filled with many things.

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Apr 22, 2021

Apr 22, 2021 at 1:45 PM UTC

OUR PRETTY EARTH

Soft rains and sunshine white clouds and blue skies green leaves shaking trees pretty birds close suburbs tall mountains low plains people places our pretty Earth is filled with many things.

11

How do we determine what is remembered of us? How do we make it seem like we're kind? How do we let our ghost linger for our loved ones? How do we express ourselves on our tombstones? How do we tell people new things we see? How do you feel? How is the rain going to sound and taste? How do you let them move on without you? How do we determine what is remembered of us?

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Apr 22, 2021

Apr 22, 2021 at 1:41 PM UTC

HOW

How do we determine what is remembered of us? How do we make it seem like we're kind? How do we let our ghost linger for our loved ones? How do we express ourselves on our tombstones? How do we tell people new things we see? How do you feel? How is the rain going to sound and taste? How do you let them move on without you? How do we determine what is remembered of us?

9

I have not written in quite some time. I have not jotted down my thoughts or committed to a rhyme. But I think of poems each day, of words spun with careful concentration. I believe in the mind and its prowess, and of the power I possess. While I have taken a break, I refuse to sit and stop, for I am not done writing.

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Feb 12, 2021

Feb 12, 2021 at 4:55 PM UTC

FOR I AM NOT DONE WRITING

I have not written in quite some time. I have not jotted down my thoughts or committed to a rhyme. But I think of poems each day, of words spun with careful concentration. I believe in the mind and its prowess, and of the power I possess. While I have taken a break, I refuse to sit and stop, for I am not done writing.

9

listening to music with my friend Liam is cathartic. I write poetry and he edits photos. What the artistic pair we are. We sing and laugh as we talk of hues of different edits. We chill with my dog and we dance to the beat. We sway and sway as the minute's pass, almost like they faded too fast. We sing to popular songs, old songs, love songs, getting over you songs. The genre's as colorful as the sky in a midwestern state. R&B Pop Indie Oldies Alternative, you name it, we listen to it. I think we should all learn to see the beauty in all genres of music and to realize "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over".

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Dec 15, 2020

Dec 15, 2020 at 8:39 PM UTC

"IT AIN'T OVER 'TIL IT'S OVER"

listening to music with my friend Liam is cathartic. I write poetry and he edits photos. What the artistic pair we are. We sing and laugh as we talk of hues of different edits. We chill with my dog and we dance to the beat. We sway and sway as the minute's pass, almost like they faded too fast. We sing to popular songs, old songs, love songs, getting over you songs. The genre's as colorful as the sky in a midwestern state. R&B Pop Indie Oldies Alternative, you name it, we listen to it. I think we should all learn to see the beauty in all genres of music and to realize "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over".

17

It's the third day of my junior year and I am filled with an unchecked anxiety. I feel the fire from my brain licking at my hands, so much so that they must fiddle with something. I thought it had gotten better, but I am so afraid. All the time. But don't misunderstand, I love school, very much. But I still cannot get over the fear of the worst happening. Thoughts eating away at my heart, intrusive as ever. Your hand holding mine calms me. However, I cannot keep you with me all day. Thoughts of you help, how you called me pretty and how if I can just make it through this period, I can see you after. I hate being so dependent on someone, it is so scary to think that you might change your mind and that you might not want my hand holding yours, but someone else's instead. I push these fears deep down because I don't want to scare you with how crazy I really am. When did I become like this? Where all I can think about is what you would do or say? I'm afraid, so very afraid.

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Sep 16, 2020

Sep 16, 2020 at 11:35 AM UTC

DAY 3

It's the third day of my junior year and I am filled with an unchecked anxiety. I feel the fire from my brain licking at my hands, so much so that they must fiddle with something. I thought it had gotten better, but I am so afraid. All the time. But don't misunderstand, I love school, very much. But I still cannot get over the fear of the worst happening. Thoughts eating away at my heart, intrusive as ever. Your hand holding mine calms me. However, I cannot keep you with me all day. Thoughts of you help, how you called me pretty and how if I can just make it through this period, I can see you after. I hate being so dependent on someone, it is so scary to think that you might change your mind and that you might not want my hand holding yours, but someone else's instead. I push these fears deep down because I don't want to scare you with how crazy I really am. When did I become like this? Where all I can think about is what you would do or say? I'm afraid, so very afraid.

19

Being through the screen without you is hard. I want to hold you and see you smile in front of me. I want to brush your hair away from your face, even if you like it that way. Your eyes are just so beautiful, and I get lost in them so, so easily. Even if you're not mine. Still, almost 5 months later. Looking through the screen and wanting you is the hardest thing I do.

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Sep 4, 2020

Sep 4, 2020 at 4:09 PM UTC

THROUGH THE SCREEN

Being through the screen without you is hard. I want to hold you and see you smile in front of me. I want to brush your hair away from your face, even if you like it that way. Your eyes are just so beautiful, and I get lost in them so, so easily. Even if you're not mine. Still, almost 5 months later. Looking through the screen and wanting you is the hardest thing I do.

8

Here it is, one final day left of my peaceful, expectation-less existence. Don´t get me wrong, dear reader, I´m quite excited for a new school year to begin. However, I cannot help but to reflect on the time spent away from school in hopes of ending the pandemic. My peers and I grew significantly during this time. We faced being alone, like so many of us fear. We sat and had tea with our demons in the dark. We dressed like we wanted to and said what we thought. And we became the children of quarantine. And while we hated every minute of it, we knew it was necessary and we took the precautions some of our parents wouldn´t even take. We defied the government, we spoke up and decided we were done being bullied by those who demand our respect due to age. We painted and sang and didn't care if it sounded atrocious to others, because it was ours and ours alone. I reflect on our final day, and am a bit saddened by our loss of freedom and I do hope we don´t revert back to the facades that we put forth during school. I have hope, however. We are done hiding, I believe in us.

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Aug 19, 2020

Aug 19, 2020 at 11:24 AM UTC

ONE FINAL DAY

Here it is, one final day left of my peaceful, expectation-less existence. Don´t get me wrong, dear reader, I´m quite excited for a new school year to begin. However, I cannot help but to reflect on the time spent away from school in hopes of ending the pandemic. My peers and I grew significantly during this time. We faced being alone, like so many of us fear. We sat and had tea with our demons in the dark. We dressed like we wanted to and said what we thought. And we became the children of quarantine. And while we hated every minute of it, we knew it was necessary and we took the precautions some of our parents wouldn´t even take. We defied the government, we spoke up and decided we were done being bullied by those who demand our respect due to age. We painted and sang and didn't care if it sounded atrocious to others, because it was ours and ours alone. I reflect on our final day, and am a bit saddened by our loss of freedom and I do hope we don´t revert back to the facades that we put forth during school. I have hope, however. We are done hiding, I believe in us.

19