why do they hate me?
i’m not going to hurt them
like they have done to us.
why do they hate me?
is it because i am
a sin in their eyes?
why do they hate me?
they talk in hushed voices not
wanting everyone to hear them say that they're
trans.
i am trans.
why do they hate the idea
of me existing.
i don’t understand.
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 8:20 PM UTC
when i look at my past,
i grip the ground tightly
not wanting to fall back
into that deep,
dark,
canyon
that is teeming with nightmares
more horrible than my words can describe.
sometimes i get a taste of it.
i get a taste of how it once felt
to be in that canyon
and having no hope of rescue.
that scares me.
i don't want to go back.
i don't want to go back.
i don't want to go back
to that canyon teeming with nightmares.
i write poetry to let go of my emotions and move on,
but sometimes putting my emotions
into words
is more painful than keeping them in.
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 16, 2018 at 8:20 AM UTC
these words you say,
they absorb into my skin.
they absorb into me,
into my heart,
they absorb,
and i can’t get them out.
i wish i could shed my skin like a snake.
i wish i could start fresh, without your words
holding me back.
you are holding me back.
you are the one refusing
to talk about the elephant in the room
staring you down.
you think this is a phase?
it’s been a year since i’ve told you,
and you still won’t get me help
for the thing
i most desperately need help with.
Jan 28, 2018
Jan 28, 2018 at 5:21 PM UTC
we are blank sheets of paper,
trying to fit in with the rest,
but later,
we develop an identity.
we are unlike the rest,
and we will cry with glee,
WE ARE THE BEST!
I AM ME!
Jan 28, 2018
Jan 28, 2018 at 5:14 PM UTC
once upon a time
a boy lived in a castle
and someone was trying to climb
up to rescue him
but he fears that’s not enough
because he was stuck
stuck in the muck
of a very dysphoric rut
he didn’t want to be stuck
but he thinks
it’s just his own bad luck
he was born
without holding a freakin’ blue truck
he built the castle to protect
from the others that will disrespect
that’s not correct
but it’s what he expects
he hopes people will understand
that he’s a real boy
and this wasn’t planned
this "change" is for him
and not for anyone else in the land
maybe when the someone gets up here
he might be able to tell them about all his thoughts
and make it all clear
maybe, hopefully,
in the new year
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 24, 2017 at 2:43 PM UTC
What does a winky face mean?
;)
is it flirty?
is it just how you text?
I
don’t
know
was it
a mistake?
an accident?
these questions are driving me crazy
i think of it as flirty,
(but maybe that’s just wishful thinking)
what does it mean to you?
please tell me
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 5:30 PM UTC
Dear RL,
I regret to inform you
that I have moved on.
I have found others,
that will respect me
more than you ever will.
You won’t like me
if I tell you the truth.
It’s not me,
it’s definitely you.
Dear MH,
When I moved,
why didn’t you keep in touch?
Was I even your friend,
or just your puppet?
So bossy and controlling,
what did I ever do?
It’s not me,
it’s definitely you.
Dear CG,
Why?
Why did you only ever
start drama?
Trying to turn me
against my friends.
Have me for yourself.
Selfish.
You stuck to me like glue.
It’s not me,
it’s definitely you.
Dear RS,
All you ever wanted
was for us to be friends.
I cut you out of my life,
and I’m trying to bring you back in,
but I keep on making stupid mistakes.
I’m sorry, for everything,
and I think you would agree,
it’s not you,
it’s definitely me.
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 24, 2017 at 8:31 AM UTC
An eraser
goes through its life
caring about all the tiny details
but not about itself.
it degrades itself trying
to fix others mistakes
until suddenly
it’s gone.
it knows it’s dying,
it know it,
and it doesn’t care.
it cares too much about other people
to care about itself.
Some people say an eraser
would be a model human.
i don’t.
If everyone was like an eraser,
if everyone cared about others
just a little too much,
how would life work?
People would degrade
just like the eraser,
not caring
about themselves.
an eraser plays an important role in art.
so it does.
you can care about other people,
but don't
not care about yourself.
do not be an eraser,
you need loved too.
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 1:46 PM UTC
my therapist says
not to let your feelings become you
but how can i
when the world is chaos
and my thoughts are only one’s of reason
Sep 15, 2017
Sep 15, 2017 at 8:28 AM UTC
you ignore all my feelings
you pretend everything’s ok
you try to understand
but it’s been more than a day
it’s been months
and you still think
i’m just
making this up
you say god made me this way
why did he?
if i just have to suffer through this
through your complete ignorance
through your false hopes
because
you think
that your little girl
has died
you think
that i’m just going to
change my mind
really,
your pain is just
making you blind
blind to the harsh reality
i face
every day
in my mind
sometimes it hurts
to be alive
i’m broken
just like this poem
with it’s off rhymes
and a meter that’s just wrong
i’m broken
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 14, 2017 at 7:55 PM UTC