It’s been 625 days since I first knew love
When I handed you a note and you said yes
I still remember your arms around me
As some movie we weren’t watching played
I still remember your smile as we kissed
My lips on yours to shut you up for the first time
It’s been 510 days since I last knew love
When you broke me and deftly left
I still remember the tears on my cheeks
As my friends held me through band practice
I still remember sleeping in your hoodie
My last way to keep you with me
It’s been 336 days since I thought I knew love
When you came back to me so suddenly
I still remember you leaning against me
As you ignored your favorite sport to tickle me
I still remember you keeping me close
Forcing me on elevators and new paths between class
It’s been 237 days since I found love again
When I ended the worst day in the best way
I still remember Parks and Rec lighting the room
As we paid all our attention to one another
I still remember the look in your eyes
As you kissed my scars and pulled me closer
It’s been 221 days since I lost love again
When I needed you and you said no
I still remember crying on the couch
As you left me on open for the millionth time
I still remember the knife in my shaking hand
As you broke your promise again
It’s been 28 days since I let love go
When I gave you up for the final time
I gave up remembering the sparkle in your eyes
Glimmering every single time you smiled
I gave up remembering the calls we shared
When I was drunk on sleep and you were high on life
I let love go
But it’s been 2 hours and 18 minutes since I last saw you
When you walked past and waved at my friends
I remember wishing it was me you’d say hi to
As you headed to your homeroom for the morning
I remember asking my friends what happened after
Because I closed my eyes the second I saw you
It’s been 625 days since I first felt hope
It’s been 336 days since I found happiness again
It’s been 237 days since I felt my heart opening again
But it’s been 510 since I first lost you
But it’s been 221 days since I lost you again
But it’s been 28 days since I last felt happy
Nov 24, 2020
Nov 24, 2020 at 11:01 AM UTC
Before I met you, I felt that I couldn't love anyone,
that nobody would be able to fill the void in my heart,
but all that changed when I met you.
Then I came to realize you were always on my mind.
You're funny and sweet.
You make me laugh and smile.
You take away my anger and sadness.
You make me weak when I talk to you.
Then I started to write poems about you.
Now I have come to realize that I am hopelessly in love with you
- Kayla Lynn
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 12:33 PM UTC
His "I love you" came swiftly
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defenses.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship
At least for a short time.
Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absence, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you " was enough...
...But it wasn't.
His "I love you's" were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.
His "I love you's" became poison
That speed deep into my bones
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left
- Kayla Lynn
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 12, 2019 at 9:03 AM UTC
I see the horizon,
Once fiery and passionate orange,
Decay into cold blue and numb black
Hark the days of old times
Past, the energy that precedes
The inevitable twilight.
It was your movements and your touch.
The hugs where you gripped my shoulders.
The times when I was drunk and played with your fingers.
And to have heard you say "I love you",
To me;
That'd make my head fuzzy,
Ears buzzy.
Vision goes askew.
It would answer questions,
Ask some more.
And leave me lost with lost intentions.
Because I don't know how I feel.
You don't either
Us, stuck in a maze
Of endless questions and fears and worries and
Excitement. Sending us into a craze.
But I'm left with one feeling,
That it's upsetting,
One sun setting,
And me praying for a sunrise.
- Kayla Lynn
Sep 1, 2018
Sep 1, 2018 at 10:21 PM UTC
What I crave is hard to describe
It is hard to say what I feel inside
Seeking adventure, seeking a change
Being comfortable feels so strange
Needing a rush, chasing a thrill
There must be a void I'm trying to fill
Whether living abroad or living at home
In the end I feel alone
No matter the obstacle, I will thrive
Out of all options... I choose to survive
But will I find it? I may never know
Until the end, I'll see it so
- Kayla Lynn
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:37 PM UTC
When you feel like quitting,
When life becomes hard to live,
Remember this simple poem
And give all you’ve got to give.
Greatness doesn’t come easy,
And neither does being strong
But you’ve got to LIVE your life
Rather than just get on.
When you feel like quitting,
And your worries got you stuck
Remember why you started
And know you won’t give up
Pick your *** off the couch
And follow these three steps
Look ahead, focus the mind, don’t slouch.
When you feel like quitting,
Remember, life’s too short
To spend it worrying, about
Problems of any sort
Your life is yours and yours alone
So make it the best you can
Live every day as if it’s your last
Don’t always follow the plan.
When you feel like quitting,
When all you want is rest,
Remember this simple quote,
Do good, want better, be best.
- Kayla Lynn
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:29 PM UTC
My mouth says **** you to the loved ones
so that my whole self feels secure
I know I'm the ****** up one
for that true love is still obscure
- Kayla Lynn
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:26 PM UTC
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, just tired.”
I. Am. Drowning.
Drowning in guilt,
Drowning in regret,
Drowning in The Ocean.
The Ocean of Emptiness.
“I’m fine.”
Two little words that
Mean so much.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just stressed.”
Stressed, alone, afraid.
Sick and tired
Of all the lies.
Lies to myself,
to friends, my parents.
“Are you okay?”
No answer.
Closer to the truth,
The truth of
Silver-sharp blades
Tucked in a drawer.
Blades that tear;
Tears mixed with blood.
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
- Kayla Lynn
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:22 PM UTC
Hope
Follows you into the dark
Saves your life
No recognition
Just energy
Hope
Better than faith?
Being hope is scary
Draining
Selfless
Hope
That friend needed
Not wanted
Only for purpose
Not for love
Hope
In success?
No, before
Destined?
No, doomed
Hope
Felt
Devoured
Pressured
Hope
- Kayla Lynn
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 27, 2018 at 3:17 PM UTC