tessa-marie-1
American
Writing was my medicine for so long, and I've recently started up again. / My work isn't going to be mindblowing or even mildly acceptable, so don't expect brilliance. / I let my talent disappear and here I am (shyly) attempting to call it home again. / Also, thank you to all of my readers, I really appreciate all of your comments, messages and likes. You don't know it, but you're saving my soul.
When the sun is shining its brightest
The world still seems so black
And the little light that escapes through
The shaded window sets flames
That burn and boil skin.
Tears cant put the fiery blotches to rest.
Cemented in position, I sit and listen
To the crackling of the burning rose,
And feel nothing but excruciating pain.
Remembrance of pleasure no longer exists.
How long have I sat in the shadowed room
Cooking like a pig on an open fire?
I no longer fear Hell because I am
The dangerous place that brings nothing but
Distaste and torture to those weeping souls.
I am Hades trapped in my destiny of colorless
Conversation with myself and those who
Also burn for eternity.
Acceptance will never travel through these veins
Of mine when it comes to looking inside my mind.
This depressing space owns me,
And I will never be okay with the scent of
My burning skin.
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 7:47 PM UTC
I'm sick.
One minute I'm dancing with angels
And the next I'm crying on the shoulder of
Lucifer himself.
I'm a double spy,
One who doesn't even know which
Side she's on.
No, I won't answer any questions,
Because I don't know;
I simply don't know.
Look away, don't dare try to
Take a glance inside my heart.
It's gone somewhere, it's being pulled
To pieces by the heavens and
The hells.
They have it, you don't and
Neither do I.
I'm a heartless ***** who's dying
To love and be loved and who's dying
To be a someone,
To be a real person.
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 21, 2013 at 1:32 AM UTC
My body is not some pyramid
That you can ransack,
Abolish and steal anything
In your path.
It's a temple that requires
Soft thought and gentle footsteps,
Sacred prayer and silent understanding.
My body is meant to be worshipped,
And held in highest regard.
It is not a something, but so much more.
It's a place;
One that will keep you warm
Through the winters, my heart lighting
The wood the keeps the fire burning.
It's a being;
More than some lifeless toy
That you lie on top of
And **** ruthlessly.
It's everything in between.
From the heavens above that bring
The deserving wonderful pleasure,
To the Grand Rapids that keep
Life dangerously fun.
My body is the tree that releases
The oxygen you breath,
And the small rabbit that you want
To pet and coddle.
It's capable of anything and everything,
So I expect you to treat it
As if it were the sky,
Something endless and always worth
Exploring and excitement.
My body is me.
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013 at 5:29 AM UTC
If I died tomorrow
I'd not only leave behind notebooks and pens,
Pastels and chalky handprints on walls,
But entire worlds and emotions stronger
Than the winds that make skyscrapers dance.
I'd leave behind scribbled screams and
Sacred secrets blurred together with
Reds and pinks that passionately slur into
Truths that have never been told.
I'd leave behind dragons that exhale purrs of wisdom that can be harmlessly crafted
Into beautiful cat eye shaped diamonds,
Which would decorate the neck of
Each breathing creature.
And children born with a thousand unshrivable
Hearts that beat for every being,
And hold nothing but compassion
That burns smile shaped scars into every mind.
If I died tomorrow,
I wouldn't leave behind anything special,
Just the worlds I'd hope to greet with
Arms held high and a happiness that will
Prance across fields of sunflowers.
Aug 6, 2013
Aug 6, 2013 at 2:36 AM UTC
Like a flame to a cigarette,
You set my body on fire
And it slowly burns,
Releasing the smoke that is my desire.
Like the nicotine,
I crave you almost hourly
And you make me insane
When you refuse to give me my proper dose.
I want to feel your lips
Dance around the filter
And I want your lungs to
Inhale my pleasure.
But like all my cigarettes,
You've burned out
And have left me to go madly
Into withdrawal.
Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013 at 1:09 AM UTC
The greatest moments ever
Were strung together by arguing over
Who would get to play with the most
Beautiful Barbie and the smell
Of an innocent, sleepy morning.
When the day was new and the excitement
Of choosing what to wear,
The purple leggings with a Harley
Sweater that would growl when
We would push on the center.
When all of the neighborhood kids
Would meet on top of the hill that
Held our imaginations greatest creations.
The greatest moments ever
Were when our mother's would arrive home
From being gone for far too long and the
Scent of the night would consume our nostrils
And just remind us that she'll always come back.
When security wasn't an issue, we always had our
Beds, even if monsters threatened to steal
Us from our lives, we'd hide under blankets.
The greatest moments ever have now escaped.
What are we supposed to do, adulthood is
A neverending nightmare that refuses to
Let up on its smothering hold.
Our mothers are no longer able to remind us
That they'll always come back, the
Mornings aren't innocent and
That hill was torn to pieces.
The monsters aren't afraid of blankets anymore,
They actually walk among us.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 7:32 PM UTC
What do you do when the body
Lying next to you has become just that?
This body was once the future that erased
The past and made the present so real.
He was your home that you never had,
Complete with a beautiful garden
And the white picket fence.
What happens when that all melts away
Into a black ball of nothingness?
You worked so hard making sure that this
World was so perfectly manicured,
But you were just painting over old paint.
What do you do when you have lost everything
That made you normal?
This is all I ever wanted, needed.
And tonight I woke up not able to breath
Because all of a sudden, my beautiful home
Has become just an empty box filled with
Memories.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 3:33 AM UTC
Tonight my eyes are glued to the target
On the wall. How can I hold it all in?
Every word. Every action. Every tear.
My knuckles are jumpy, my stomach swirls,
And my skin is ice.
The peak. My anger has found the perfect time to
Reveal itself. Now my body is shaking
Because all of my warmth has
Escaped, I'm violently freezing in Hell.
My body is bleeding, along with my vision.
Red stains everything. Black holes appear.
Tiny star specks dance across my eyes, and
Then I'm gone. I'm not me, my anger has
Finally taken over. It wins tonight.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 3:02 AM UTC
You take your secrets,
Fold them up and place them
Deep inside my stomach.
When you close me up,
I feel them bashing against
My inside walls.
They want to be read.
You tell me they're nothing
And your secrets don't like that
One bit.
They want to be known
So badly that they are beating me
Down.
I hear them whisper,
I feel them poisoning my blood.
You don't even notice
When they stop my heart.
Your secrets want to feast upon
My organs and use my mind
As a napkin.
They want to shield me from your touch
And hide all of the sunshine.
Because the way they see it,
If they can't have you
Nobody can.
You have locked them away
But they have just found a key
And that key is a knife to my gut.
They yell now,
They scream and shout.
I can't hear anything else.
I hate you for choosing me
To hide them within,
You should have at least let them
Be read.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013 at 11:41 PM UTC
My lips curl around my last cigarette.
I allow the smoke to mix with the air
And fill my lungs.
I exhale the poison
And pass the tobacco ridden stick
To my only friend.
I watch as she does the same,
With clouded eyes submerged in sadness.
She stares straight into my soul and
Whispers, We're in this together.
Little does she know, I loath spending this time
With her. I hate sharing my last cigarette
With someone I can't stand.
I turn my head, avoiding any
Need to say a word,
And as she passes the cigarette,
I shift my gaze back onto her face,
And notice that I'm staring into the mirror.
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 5:29 AM UTC