taylor-smith-3 - Hello Poetry

I used to write down all my secrets And put them in envelopes I addressed them to "The person who keeps everyone's secrets, Please hold on to some of mine Because I'm crushing under the weight that they hold" But because I never met anyone like that I just stuffed them away in my underwear drawer, My sock drawer, My supplies drawer, My junk drawer, But eventually I had so many secrets I ran out of evelopes and ran out of places to hide them. You kissed me the same day you told her you loved her You held my hand when no one was looking Yet you held her entire body as if you were the pedastool And she was an idol Her flawless skin A reminder that I will never be Flawless enough for you to want only me It wasn't until all my secrets came flowing out Cluttering my heart That I realised I'm your only secret Do I keep you up at night They way you haunt my dreams Afraid to fall asleep For fear if I hear you say my name again Ill fall even harder than before. I doubt it... Ive been here enough times to know that I'm just another girl who's heart you keep in a jar on your night stand Along with the rest of your collection Yet I don't feel the need to self harm because these words are already sharp enough to cut me open People always told me to fight for the ones that I love And baby id fight for you But there's no point in it if the competition has already won My heart became the battle field ***** and bruised So here I am Admitting defeated You may have destroyed my dignity But I have won my respect Im as fierce as a lioness And I don't need to be tamed I won't jump through anymore fiery hoops Just in hope that one day you'll love me in return I'm not gonna be another welcome mat on your front porch Because you're not welcome to walk all over me You're not welcome to leave behind the ***** particles of your ****** life and expect me to clean it up You're not welcome to wear me down and then replace me with someone new Because eventually i'll get used to sleeping alone I'll manage to stay out of the coldest corners While still filling up the bed Every morning ill regain my strength over a cup of coffee And I'll pick up my pen I'll write about us I'll write about how we weren't a tradedy Just a season passed and a lesson learned

0

Apr 11, 2014

Apr 11, 2014 at 12:17 AM UTC

Lion tamer love affair (unfinished)

I used to write down all my secrets And put them in envelopes I addressed them to "The person who keeps everyone's secrets, Please hold on to some of mine Because I'm crushing under the weight that they hold" But because I never met anyone like that I just stuffed them away in my underwear drawer, My sock drawer, My supplies drawer, My junk drawer, But eventually I had so many secrets I ran out of evelopes and ran out of places to hide them. You kissed me the same day you told her you loved her You held my hand when no one was looking Yet you held her entire body as if you were the pedastool And she was an idol Her flawless skin A reminder that I will never be Flawless enough for you to want only me It wasn't until all my secrets came flowing out Cluttering my heart That I realised I'm your only secret Do I keep you up at night They way you haunt my dreams Afraid to fall asleep For fear if I hear you say my name again Ill fall even harder than before. I doubt it... Ive been here enough times to know that I'm just another girl who's heart you keep in a jar on your night stand Along with the rest of your collection Yet I don't feel the need to self harm because these words are already sharp enough to cut me open People always told me to fight for the ones that I love And baby id fight for you But there's no point in it if the competition has already won My heart became the battle field ***** and bruised So here I am Admitting defeated You may have destroyed my dignity But I have won my respect Im as fierce as a lioness And I don't need to be tamed I won't jump through anymore fiery hoops Just in hope that one day you'll love me in return I'm not gonna be another welcome mat on your front porch Because you're not welcome to walk all over me You're not welcome to leave behind the ***** particles of your ****** life and expect me to clean it up You're not welcome to wear me down and then replace me with someone new Because eventually i'll get used to sleeping alone I'll manage to stay out of the coldest corners While still filling up the bed Every morning ill regain my strength over a cup of coffee And I'll pick up my pen I'll write about us I'll write about how we weren't a tradedy Just a season passed and a lesson learned

58

When I was little, You always tucked me into bed with butterfly kisses And whispered that you loved me, But what do you know of love? I know I haven't always been there, but neither have you It's been years since I've heard your voice. It's been years since you drove me away. Growing up with out a father isn't so easy. I used to dream about you. About the time I walked up to you and Twirled around to show you my princess dress. You picked me up, put me on on your tippy toes, and we danced across the living room for hours. You told me I was your Cinderella girl. Do you remember that? I used you dream about you. About the times we could have had. Would you have taken me to get ice cream everytime I skinned my knees When I fell off my bike because you knew it would make me feel better? Would you have stuck all my art work on the refrigerator for the world to see? Would you have held me in your arms when everyone else shut me out? Would you be proud of me? I used to dream about you.

0

Feb 14, 2014

Feb 14, 2014 at 1:35 PM UTC

Dreaming of a Lost Cause (unfinished)

When I was little, You always tucked me into bed with butterfly kisses And whispered that you loved me, But what do you know of love? I know I haven't always been there, but neither have you It's been years since I've heard your voice. It's been years since you drove me away. Growing up with out a father isn't so easy. I used to dream about you. About the time I walked up to you and Twirled around to show you my princess dress. You picked me up, put me on on your tippy toes, and we danced across the living room for hours. You told me I was your Cinderella girl. Do you remember that? I used you dream about you. About the times we could have had. Would you have taken me to get ice cream everytime I skinned my knees When I fell off my bike because you knew it would make me feel better? Would you have stuck all my art work on the refrigerator for the world to see? Would you have held me in your arms when everyone else shut me out? Would you be proud of me? I used to dream about you.

23

Misogyny, The hatered, objectification, and sexualization of women His hands were too big for my eight year old body My stomach turned in ways I could only describe as "icky" I screamed until I could no longer feel any breath left in my lungs "Stop it! Please! I don't like this game. Daddy stop!" Time slows Seeming like an eternity Every touch was like a sparkler Burning while tracing the path his fingers left on my body When he was finally done I gathered my thoughts and prayed to God to save me When I went to the bathroom to clean up I saw his handwriting on the mirror Scrawled across it was a verse saying Hell was my only destiny My body is not a bag of bones for you to play with and the burry Poisonous words foam from your mouth like rabid dogs You pick pieces of my pride from your teeth You think it’s okay to mess with women To make them feel vulnerable Just because you have a Napoleon Bonaparte complex That does not give you the right to steal our self-esteem To make up for the lack of your own You say “Well maybe YOU shouldn’t have worn those slutty heals, Or that dress, Or your hair that way.” You say “Maybe YOU should have done something to avoid being a target.” You say “Stop being so disrespectful. I just wanted to see your **** You have a real flair for excuses So excuse me when I tell you You will regret messing with a woman like me You see, I keep my heart strapped to my steel-toed combat boots And an army of mistreated women of speed-dial We will hold you captive and make our war paint from your blood As ransom notes fall from your mouth With the words “I’m sorry” scrawled across them I hate to break it to you But those words won’t sew up the open wounds you left us with When you came in to *** in and steal our innocence The thing you don’t seem to realize is You might have taken our innocence But that’s not what we are made of We consume strength for breakfast, Courage for lunch, Wisdom for dinner, And guys like you for a midnight snack. We’re not just warriors Were survivors What you do to us doesn't define us Were not broken Were beautiful And the more I think about it You’re just dogs chained to a tree While I’m the person Who’s going to put your treachery to sleep.

0

Jan 12, 2014

Jan 12, 2014 at 7:24 PM UTC

Ode to Misogyny

Misogyny, The hatered, objectification, and sexualization of women His hands were too big for my eight year old body My stomach turned in ways I could only describe as "icky" I screamed until I could no longer feel any breath left in my lungs "Stop it! Please! I don't like this game. Daddy stop!" Time slows Seeming like an eternity Every touch was like a sparkler Burning while tracing the path his fingers left on my body When he was finally done I gathered my thoughts and prayed to God to save me When I went to the bathroom to clean up I saw his handwriting on the mirror Scrawled across it was a verse saying Hell was my only destiny My body is not a bag of bones for you to play with and the burry Poisonous words foam from your mouth like rabid dogs You pick pieces of my pride from your teeth You think it’s okay to mess with women To make them feel vulnerable Just because you have a Napoleon Bonaparte complex That does not give you the right to steal our self-esteem To make up for the lack of your own You say “Well maybe YOU shouldn’t have worn those slutty heals, Or that dress, Or your hair that way.” You say “Maybe YOU should have done something to avoid being a target.” You say “Stop being so disrespectful. I just wanted to see your **** You have a real flair for excuses So excuse me when I tell you You will regret messing with a woman like me You see, I keep my heart strapped to my steel-toed combat boots And an army of mistreated women of speed-dial We will hold you captive and make our war paint from your blood As ransom notes fall from your mouth With the words “I’m sorry” scrawled across them I hate to break it to you But those words won’t sew up the open wounds you left us with When you came in to *** in and steal our innocence The thing you don’t seem to realize is You might have taken our innocence But that’s not what we are made of We consume strength for breakfast, Courage for lunch, Wisdom for dinner, And guys like you for a midnight snack. We’re not just warriors Were survivors What you do to us doesn't define us Were not broken Were beautiful And the more I think about it You’re just dogs chained to a tree While I’m the person Who’s going to put your treachery to sleep.

53

Her hearts full of damaged goods She can only take so much pain before her body overflows With unforgiven words and painful memories The mixture under her skin eventually becomes a hurricane You can’t see it but you can hear the thunder She has to bleed out the hurt that runs through her veins She doesn't like remembering Because remembering makes her feel And feelings are over rated She started drinking because everything is so much sweeter Without conscious thoughts She has an unexplainable sadness etched into her smile When she lays in her bed at night She thinks of all the things she could have said But was too afraid to admit Maybe if she had said them Her dad wouldn't have left Or her mom would stop coming home from her double shift Just to pass out after blazing Maybe the only one she ever loved Wouldn’t have gone after someone who loved him better. She seeked happiness in street allies that were only lit up by the Moon She wanted to reach up and touch the stars But since she couldn't fly She snorted another line of fairy dust just to keep her floating

0

Dec 3, 2013

Dec 3, 2013 at 2:04 AM UTC

Damaged Goods

Her hearts full of damaged goods She can only take so much pain before her body overflows With unforgiven words and painful memories The mixture under her skin eventually becomes a hurricane You can’t see it but you can hear the thunder She has to bleed out the hurt that runs through her veins She doesn't like remembering Because remembering makes her feel And feelings are over rated She started drinking because everything is so much sweeter Without conscious thoughts She has an unexplainable sadness etched into her smile When she lays in her bed at night She thinks of all the things she could have said But was too afraid to admit Maybe if she had said them Her dad wouldn't have left Or her mom would stop coming home from her double shift Just to pass out after blazing Maybe the only one she ever loved Wouldn’t have gone after someone who loved him better. She seeked happiness in street allies that were only lit up by the Moon She wanted to reach up and touch the stars But since she couldn't fly She snorted another line of fairy dust just to keep her floating

25

Lies spew from your body as you pull me in tighter Tighter So tight that I can barely breathe I’m suffocating here in your arms And you don’t even care to notice Complete and total oblivion Not the tranquil oblivion of sleep But the threatening oblivion of homicide Not actual death but the death of the person I want to become You don’t seem to notice the panic formed across my face I’m an animal trapped in headlights, paralyzed While you’re the speeding vehicle The car that doesn’t stop You don’t realize as my mother that I look up to you That you’re relationships are not just about you The hold effect on me as well You can’t seem to stop the fighting You say you love him But I think you love the rush of anger When you’re screaming and then leaving Leaving You’re constantly leaving me I’m caught between the cross fires The cussing and the pushing You take it out on me When I finally get up the nerve to confront you about it You say you have no idea what I’m talking about Did I tell you I still have the necklace you bought me? To make me forget about the first bruise you left on my arm As if money and diamonds mean a thing to me I may seem like a young lady But my insides are ripping apart I’m still just a child I had a dream of being a mother And a having a beautiful partner Who has a dictionary of her own And when she looks up the words: Independent, beauty, and passion The synonym is my name I want so badly to be happy But when I look at your relationship What you call love All I see is chaos A fight that isn’t over until someone is hanging by a noose And I don’t want any part of it I hear that love is a wonderful thing But now the word sends messages through my body and too my brain They scream at me to run and run fast To shut out anyone who could possibly care about me I’m so tired of living this way These hallways hold too many secrets Too many hushed screams for my comfort So I’m leaving Leaving I’m leaving before oblivion takes over I’m gonna tear down the walls I built I’m gonna free fall into the unknown Im gonna find what love is And when I finally do She will show me the 7 wonders of the world Just by looking in her eyes, like crystal ships that have seen too many ice burgs yet still so beautiful. Her heart will remind me of an old shoe lace Double knotted That may be a bit too tattered but never falls apart She will hold my heart in her hand I will trust her not to shatter it But to help me find the missing puzzle pieces To make it whole again.

0

Dec 3, 2013

Dec 3, 2013 at 1:48 AM UTC

Oblivion

Lies spew from your body as you pull me in tighter Tighter So tight that I can barely breathe I’m suffocating here in your arms And you don’t even care to notice Complete and total oblivion Not the tranquil oblivion of sleep But the threatening oblivion of homicide Not actual death but the death of the person I want to become You don’t seem to notice the panic formed across my face I’m an animal trapped in headlights, paralyzed While you’re the speeding vehicle The car that doesn’t stop You don’t realize as my mother that I look up to you That you’re relationships are not just about you The hold effect on me as well You can’t seem to stop the fighting You say you love him But I think you love the rush of anger When you’re screaming and then leaving Leaving You’re constantly leaving me I’m caught between the cross fires The cussing and the pushing You take it out on me When I finally get up the nerve to confront you about it You say you have no idea what I’m talking about Did I tell you I still have the necklace you bought me? To make me forget about the first bruise you left on my arm As if money and diamonds mean a thing to me I may seem like a young lady But my insides are ripping apart I’m still just a child I had a dream of being a mother And a having a beautiful partner Who has a dictionary of her own And when she looks up the words: Independent, beauty, and passion The synonym is my name I want so badly to be happy But when I look at your relationship What you call love All I see is chaos A fight that isn’t over until someone is hanging by a noose And I don’t want any part of it I hear that love is a wonderful thing But now the word sends messages through my body and too my brain They scream at me to run and run fast To shut out anyone who could possibly care about me I’m so tired of living this way These hallways hold too many secrets Too many hushed screams for my comfort So I’m leaving Leaving I’m leaving before oblivion takes over I’m gonna tear down the walls I built I’m gonna free fall into the unknown Im gonna find what love is And when I finally do She will show me the 7 wonders of the world Just by looking in her eyes, like crystal ships that have seen too many ice burgs yet still so beautiful. Her heart will remind me of an old shoe lace Double knotted That may be a bit too tattered but never falls apart She will hold my heart in her hand I will trust her not to shatter it But to help me find the missing puzzle pieces To make it whole again.

70