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tannermckay
tannermckay
19/M/Portland, Oregon
i spend my time in the dark of my room listening to the rain collect on the leaves outside my window the doors stay locked my heart remains a wound should i find the time to release my fear may the sun shine through my window if i found a way to create the energy i need i fear i may explode all too often the ones that feed us are the ones we lose too soon i search for an everlasting light, shone through the darkest depths of my mind my eyes are tattered with glimpses of implosion the deepest trenches of my mind are where we fall i can't stand up and face your walls as short as they may be i look into the night from the edge of my window i've seen the stars explode should i be freed from the echoing refrains in my brain may the longest night turn into the brightest day if i found a way to create the energy i need i fear i may explode
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Sep 18, 2018
Sep 18, 2018 at 1:44 AM UTC
supernova
the last of the words you said flow in a fountain of sorrow colors lie to my eyes deceitful and contradictory i prove undeserving of the life they bring had i accepted my inhibitions with complacency, you would have felt no pain regardless of intent, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder shallow and ungrateful am i cynical and critical so much of my love has begun to rot anger and sadness have shackled me to the floor i lie in the sun, naked and bloated "you're just not ready" my stomach is riddled with anxious sickness i avoid confrontation within myself my heart yearns for health my soul longs for a tender love one that life may never bring
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May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 11:35 PM UTC
Lost
i can’t look at the stars because i used to do that with you i can’t bask in the sun because i used to do that with you i can’t listen to music because i used to do that with you i can’t sleep because i used to do that with you i can’t dream because i used to do that with you used to
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Apr 22, 2018
Apr 22, 2018 at 3:04 AM UTC
Without You
what i want to say becomes ever so eloquent softly unspoken when our lips meet by the fire i stare into the sea the ocean roars with the blink of an eye appearing to disappear my body yearns for your gentle approach the moon peers in through the window as the cool air graces our skin desperation and urgency seep through the cracks serene is the sight of you drifting to sleep in my arms brush your hair behind your ear sweetly caress your face a peck upon your forehead with hope of good dreams to come what i want to say becomes ever so obvious the need to speak has withered my soul leans on your heart lover, may i take your tender hands forever?
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Apr 18, 2018
Apr 18, 2018 at 12:25 AM UTC
What I Want To Say
Am I on board, or is it sinking? Am I afloat, or will I drown? Am I down, or are you up? Am I out, or are you in? Am I alone, or are you here? Am I thinking too much, or are you not thinking enough? Am I near, or are you far? Is it me, or is it you? Will time tell? Until then, what do I do? Do you love me, . . . or do I love you?
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Apr 8, 2018
Apr 8, 2018 at 2:27 AM UTC
Is It Me or Is It You?
all about another apple but bite in, bittersweet crammed cars, can't count definitely don't die down effortlessly end eventually finding fun on the forefront green goes good to gunk helping herself hide hundreds i infer about inside jokes jump the jump **** kids, kick kittens lost lies living large most moms make mothers neither, nothing, no, none others often open outside people pick poison practice quite the quiet quack roaring realness, rather run stop sinking, stupid sun time tells touching tales under universal utters very varying vanitites worries will weigh warped wants xeroxed xenon xanax xylophone your yellowing youthful yesterdays zombified zeal zips zillionaires
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Apr 7, 2018
Apr 7, 2018 at 2:45 AM UTC
Reflection
what if i jumped? if i swam into the sun who could save me then? i could live under the sea loneliness behold the desperate grip on my neck the enormous weight on my chest a breath is no longer in sight recognition is beyond incomprehensible my skin is wrapped much too tight escape is a concept i am nothing without my nothing living fearfully, sinking down under i'm not sure that anyone can see me my heart pounds on my chest someone please let it out wrapping my fingers around my thumb tell me my ideas are dumb take away my inhibitions for i can not shake free myself free me from these thoughts someone is inside my head telling me i should be dead telling me to let out the red
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Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 9:59 PM UTC
Let It Out