Everything is falling like rain around me
And all I can do is muster a smile and a
Hallelujah.
Everything is falling like rain around me
But my feet are stuck to the ground like concrete.
Apr 1, 2016
Apr 1, 2016 at 1:28 AM UTC
You have scorched me
With scalding words
And a scorching glare.
The humiliation was like
An inferno had sparked in
My chest and then spread
To consume my body and soul.
I was too scared to move.
It hurt to think.
But like the Phoenix,
I will rise again.
My tongue will be like a sword-
Painfully beautiful,
Swift and sharp.
You will marvel
You will wonder
You will be proven wrong.
Your words are fire,
I am celestial bronze.
Come now,
Purify me.
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 19, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC
"You save me from myself."
Every time something goes wrong
I know I have You to count on.
This is more than beautiful words
This more than a beautiful song
This is more than just a day at church
More than speaking in tongues.
This is so much more than any act of
Prophesy
I hope you can see
That.
This more than life.
This is more than logic.
This is more than I can ever hope to
Articulate or explain
For how can I express Your glory
When my lips are not holy enough
And my mind not pure enough
To speak or know Your name?
How can I expect to be
Expect to do all that You have called me to?
How can I expect to be perfect like You?
How can I?
You have made everything anew
But once I get in the way of things
Everything goes askew.
Though I struggle and try
And most days simply succumb
How is it possible that You can
Save me from myself over and over again?
I never understood what a wretched man
That I am
Until I tried to live for You truly.
You knew me from before I was in my mother's
Womb
And you know exactly what day I will be
Laid to rest in a tomb.
Yet I still find it hard to trust You
When You take away certain people or things
Or when You instruct me.
I can't see past the pain or my desire
I can't see past my inherent need for control
For success
Yet
What is success without You?
What is love without You?
What is happiness without You?
What am I without You?
Sometimes I feel like abandoning You
But how can I after all You took me
Through?
How can I?
Two things am I sure of
Your love
And that I will die.
Yet why can't I allow myself to
Accept the love You give?
I just don't deserve it
But I need it.
You are the breath I breathe
How I stand when my knees
Buckle.
You are sunlight
You are bright
You are dazzling
You are my life.
Though I may run from that simple truth
I'll always find my way back to You.
What a paradox is this
An imperfect miss
With a perfect God
Called but uncalled to Him
Afraid to let a love
She craves and needs in.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 10:23 PM UTC
N. a deviation from the common norm. Something or somebody who does not fit in.
A glitch, an error in systematic method.
Something abnormal.
Something strange.
Something mind boggling.
Exactly what I was meant to be.
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 12, 2015 at 9:58 PM UTC
Could you find your own identity
And stop trying to be me
I am sick and tired of trying to
Swallow back my words
In order to avoid me being a part of
The herds
Others who
Who all look the same.
Could you please find you own identity
I am sick of you trying to be me
Sick of you mimicking me
Sick of you trying to do
All that I do
And passing it off as your own.
Where has uniqueness gone?
And why do you
Regard me with scorn
As if you are the one who
Hadn't succumb to
Stealing another's identity
Oh would you please stop trying to be me?
Be you
Do you
Do not compare yourself to me
Can't you see
That you are beautiful
In your own unique way?
Listen to me
And listen to me well
It would be a cold day in hell
That I would allow anyone
On anything
Take away my own originality
And you as sure as the sun shines
Can never have the talent or personality
That is mine.
You can never be me.
Can't you see that it can never work?
Why don't you put more effort
Into finding yourself
Instead of trying into cash in on
The wealth I have found in myself
Because the same riches lie inside of you
Could you please please please
Stop trying to be me
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015 at 9:35 PM UTC
I know it's best for me to be alone
But my heart sincerely wants a home.
I don't know where to settle
My mind is whistling like a tea kettle.
Time ticks bye
Time flies
Things are changing.
I know it's best for me to be around
But I don't think I can bear the sound
Of bickering
Or handling the ludicrous singing.
Here I am,
All over again
Hand with pen
Wondering when
My peace will be turned upside down,
Wondering when
The next heartache will come around.
I know it's best for me not to worry
I know it's best not to hurry
Things along
But I can't quite contain
My mind's wondering song.
May 27, 2015
May 27, 2015 at 9:16 PM UTC
I've been trying to find myself
With my eyes wide shut
And the visions of the future
Keep changing
And my head and heart
Keep paining
When I think about it.
I don't know what I want
Just what I don't want.
That's good and bad.
I just keep grasping at air
To catch me before I fall into an abyss
I just keep grasping at air
To catch me before I shatter to pieces.
No one sees
No one cares
No one notices
Because they don't ask
Because I don't let them know
God I'm falling and falling
But ironically
My fingers can never let go
Of the atmosphere
That lets me fall
Oh who am I to call?
I just keep falling and falling
Grasping at dreams with my eyes wide shut
Bracing myself for the pain
Of either wings sprouting and letting me soar
Or from crashing and my skull cracking on the floor
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015 at 6:30 PM UTC
If you had told me five months ago that
I would laugh again
And love again
I would have spat in your face
Because how could I possibly ever feel
Again after losing nine precious people to me?
But I am laughing
And loving
And smiling once more
And I think about them yes,
Sometimes I cry
But pain is apart of being alive.
If you had told me four months ago,
That we wouldn't be
I would've rolled my eyes and said
'You must not see the way he looks at me.'
But we are not
We will never be
And I guess that hurt me for a while
But I still smile
And I don't even notice you
Half the time
Because other things
Like happiness are consuming my mind.
And I know that before the school year ends
I will have another
And you will be the last thing on my mind.
If you had told me twelve months ago
Things would be like this now
I would have laughed out loud
Because it couldn't possibly be true?
But it is
I am happy
I have grown
I will
Continue
To
Grow
I
Will
Glow.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 12:16 AM UTC
IT WAS THEN
She realized it then
When her heart hopped
Into her mouth screaming
Out ludicrous love songs
And her stomach started
To spin around like a cyclone
And she had this overwhelming urge to
***** and run
But he was her home
So she collapsed into his arms
And relished the feeling of just him being
There.
IT WAS THEN
She realized that she had
Fallen hopelessly in love
And she remembered that feeling
Seven months later
When she craved it so bad
That she fell to the floor and
Broke like glass
Bits and pieces of herself
Shattering
Everywhere and she had
Lost herself
Truly that time
Feeling like she was grasping at thin air
Or clouds
Trying to get a grip
To stop the falling
But every firm thing
Slipping through her grasp.
IT WAS THEN
She crashed down on the grasslands
Numb.
Her back ached from landing on the
Earth with such force
And her ears rang.
The broken bits had
Come back together
Forcefully, and it hurt to breathe
Because she was used to some places
Being empty
So it felt awkward now that they were full.
She lay there
For a while,
Looking up the sky
Watching him lead another girl up
Abysmally high
Waltzing on clouds
Her laughter innocent and sweet.
IT WAS THEN
She felt the sharp ache in her head.
She knew now.
All ludic childishness
A faint memory
She was back to normal now
Reality.
She wondered what love was
Blindness or foolishness.
She couldn't decide.
She got up
And walked away
Into the sunrise.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015 at 12:01 AM UTC