t-zanahary
Plainly stated, I am. Ever changing and forever the same, my adopted last name allows me to explain my essence as a whole, a duality dependant on its self I have learned to adapt my world to suit me, and write to hold a semblance of sanity. I am, I always have been, and refuse to except myself to fit any standards of normality.
Among the desolate crowd we felt that welling of times long held back. The cloud had come. Release, pouring down. Over. Washing away what all had been left discarded. Disinterested. Pouring down the cliffs of a world we can't fully come to terms with while the rest was nothing more than grease stains sliding streetwise to cracks, corners, stagnant pools that left them short of those drains put in place to siphon them off to somewhere.
Somewhere.
New?
Lost?
Forgotten?
Why. Why would they work so hard to take all of it away just to let it sit. Lie (lay, I mean, but **** it) in the streets causing those perfect souls passing by to deal with the failed drainage systems put in place. They promised, again, to fix the streets, why did they do all that work to have people feel their failings in the posting rain as their boots soaked through.
What was the thought?
Money? Gold? Ambivalence or hatred could be candidates if there weren't such a stranglehold on the decision makers. The streets, department or otherwise, knew how to address it, why don't they?
And the drains clear. With them, concern. The puddles, disappeared. All that is left is the penumbra of promise, silhouettes of stagnant process producing not but the petrichor reminisced for. But it's always a memory left, maybe tomorrow problem. Matters not when the gatherers gather once 'gain. The sun still shines it's oppressive rays and once again these cloudy eyes start to well.
Dec 18, 2023
Dec 18, 2023 at 12:17 AM UTC
Faith in the fall
Breathes into a warm blanket
And cold floor
Begging
More
Time in bed
To plan,
Break from what's here
See tomorrow in the new
Light streaming through
Cracks in the dark
A coffee, a car, a road
A turn in the dark,
An overhang slung low
Like that weight
We escape
Break in the forest,
Bald peak peeking through
Light shining brighter
The beacon we head to
Ice, slick, slow, quiet
Spin, twist, skid.
Skid.
The sky growing cloudy,
Lines break from the trail
Through the trees,
Which carry
All that held us down
Today we just lay fresh tracks
In the new snow
Feb 4, 2020
Feb 4, 2020 at 12:07 PM UTC
There's smoke on the horizon
beneath an open sea
closing on grainy visions.
In an obscured sky
twin moons merge briefly,
illuminating barren features beneath silver linings
losing brilliance. Imagine
darkness
skirting collisions, spinning
into its quickened cycle, spiraling
radiating some misunderstood energies
thought of as kindness, or kinship.
Veils obscure absent eyes milky white
delicately placed off center to attract attention
awa y
to the edges of presen(ts)ce.
Fractures eke out mollified dreams
better left for a different when,
still spied through corner glances
and brief glimpses of a time forgotten.
Stare out through rolling hills,
drifting between currents and canyons
hiding prospects and perspectives
shrinking, shifting topics to
silence,
hours
spent on roads throughout country
we'll never truly see. Hundreds
of miles, with nothing in between.
Let's lay
beneath blankets of estranged forethought
fathers speaking in lost refrains
brothers and sisters spinning in circles
for atten(ua)tion?
attunement?
spinning, bare feet striking
new grounds
leaving paths for those to follow,
what we would have called ours
if not for lost vocabulary.
Between pillars of salt and smoke
we continue along a path founded by ancestors,
tasting our sacred fruits
soured by the lives which watered them,
stains now set to patters,
repeated until they become tradition,
crossing into teachings to which
we kneel
masked by some layer of proper posturing
predictively programmed to provoke
passe (prisms) precautions,
an effect of visual innocence
tarnished, no longer
do we know who hides behind the pierced cowl,
stilled face, lifeless and radiant,
forgotten in sight.
mute, we tell tall tales
of monster's sacrifices,
humanity a frail barrier.
Vapid thoughts dissipate
as leather lungs propagate vacuous words,
bruised rose petals whisper an attempt
at appeasement
lost in the shivers of the wind, briefly
caught only by chance and it's simple
to pretend they never came.
There's smoke on the horizon,
signals rise to prominence
once communication's faltered.
Hollow, revert to body language,
broken and distorted, the veil falls
as we look upon ourselfs from breaths away.
In our eyes a slotted face falls close,
unrecognizable, yet our own
clearly cloaked in cold sun and decorative scars,
an odious inverse to delicacy.
Animals trapped in the same cage
finding comfort in the fury of escape attempts,
pitted against on another
we find solace in our embrace,
teeth bared from true recognition
it was never passion,
only instinct.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 5:05 PM UTC
December finally comes.
unexpected and awaited we huddle in our own social circles
blocking the cold with exchanged hot air and shared *******
complaints a quick fix to so many of our daily issues.
Snow piles beneath our feet and we continue forward
dour moods no excuse for falling production, we must be
productive.
We must give quamtifiable results so we may look back on our endeavours
and claim them a success.
Imagine if they tracked us like they do our hours,
followed us as closely as these stories we are forced to tell to noone,
do you think they'd enjoy the insight?
Or would we resume our spot in their eyes as those children,
adolescents lost and cpnfused willing to sacrafice their time for nothing
more than community and experience.
D ec ember en d s
a long week
punctuated by quickened pace
and short days spent under the hum of everything weighing down on you.
i lost it once,
hyena laughter braying through dark skies
at nothing..
or am i just forgetting something again.
Let's turn around,
I'll check the cabinet
if you help me disappear.
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016 at 5:00 PM UTC
prestigious
drugs critical
public awareness effects lifestyle
tied to our ability
to be
you.
disease programs,
meet loved ones,
heart-wrenching I visit.
:
across
he rounds his patients
twenty-five years ago.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 31, 2016 at 11:31 PM UTC
I hate you.
Every day I think of you,
and can not escape my pain.
I long for the days before you left,
before my life was irrevocably shattered,
before my life ended.
I still can't enjoy my birthday,
I still lay awake waiting for the calls to repeat,
waiting for the cops to come and for you to leave.
You were never part of my life anyways,
you were nothing but a stand in,
never a father.
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 29, 2016 at 6:05 PM UTC
beneath dying light
leaves lay whispering new songs
to upraised cradles
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 28, 2016 at 10:01 PM UTC
We spend our days with passions smoldering,
inside the haze we're seen, shouldering
a renewed faith in truer selves, hold high,
lest we view wraiths, impure, sell bold lies.
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 28, 2016 at 12:15 AM UTC
She lays
propped upon the headboard
while her mind is elsewhere,
gaze far from present.
Curling waves of crumpled sheets
crash against her forever in this instant,
their horizon the pale whites and soft pinks
of humble beauty.
The outline of her breast draws us to a turned back,
allowing us the descent of the ridges and valleys
of supple curves.
As we turn away, we are grounded
by a small earthen plot,
and feel the sinking blues play on our worries
we will never see this scene again.
And still she lays,
body surrounded by simple comforts,
mind engulfed in a world out of sight.
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 7:36 PM UTC
Pressure surfacing
re(lapse)lease breaking the skin,
early memories flooding into
tonight's supposedly simple situations,
eyes reaching for the black.
new mornings spent questioning new
temptations,
islands of comfort spread
over the table.
Under false bottoms we hit rocks,
sip a little solace, just to glance in the mirror again.
Balance, falling
off center yet
under control,
no longer concerned with,
tomorrow, today, tonight,
yesterday's simply fall away.
Within these sparks
i give my self to nothing,
longing another
touching nothing, painless,
sliding into this numb embrace
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 10:38 AM UTC