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szei
szei
26/F/usa mythology mess, aspiring poet / / / gamer, stargazing, vegan, goth, cold weather, book lover, just another star trying to feel whole again.
poetry saves me everyday it is a place for me to retreat and rest from the world when i feel too tired to exist it is a place for me to regain strength to continue to grow like a flower poetry is like sunlight warm, welcoming, and inviting poetry gives me a sense of a new beginning to find a way to myself poetry gives me hope in knowing that maybe i am good enough for something
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Jan 3, 2022
Jan 3, 2022 at 11:22 PM UTC
poetry
i must welcome this new beginning / embrace it with gentle hands / my life is not over / it is starting / i know i should open my heart to let the light in / when i open my heart / i bleed, i bleed, i bleed / blood is a discomforting sight to one's eyes /  i refuse to allow anything to come in to see it / it hurts to spill this heartache /  my life is changing right now / i can feel the world pulling my body in different directions / where i go? which way is right way? / change can be frightening, unpredictable / so is my mind / there's a war zone roaring in my mind / despair vs. happiness: which one will win? / the one i give into the most / this is what longing feels like / do i hide or do i run? / i'm scared, i'm scared, i'm scared  / nothing makes sense and neither does this poem / this body is a messy thing / grief spilt my soul in two and i don't know where the other half is / i will find it somehow / the sun continues to rise in the sky without apologizing / light pours in different directions / i will do my best to always tilt my head / this is where the healing begins / but my god it hurts to be a human / it hurts to be a living creature / i'm a wild one, i know this / & i will try to be a good one / i won't let you down / i promise
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Oct 29, 2020
Oct 29, 2020 at 12:08 PM UTC
my head is a mess
you take all the broken pieces and start again build from the ground up brick by brick, wall to wall construction is never easy of course you'll fall a few times or you may bruise your bones a little bit breathe in, and breathe out rest for a moment when it's necessary Rome wasn't built in a day remember to replenish your body when you're out of energy you can not rush progress if you're too focused on the results you'll miss every step wondering why you're not moving regardless of the pain, keep building yourself beautiful cities are also built on ruins i believe people are the same way too there is renewal after destruction
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Jul 7, 2020
Jul 7, 2020 at 10:40 PM UTC
healing
i have been broke many times pain still lingers in my chest i know this now: it will not last it's only temporary my soul carved itself into a bouquet of daggers to protect myself from the damage others left behind to crush me through all this ache i remain myself it will hurt me it will not destroy me i welcome it it is a guest it is not allowed to stay
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Jun 29, 2020
Jun 29, 2020 at 6:42 PM UTC
heartache
i will carry the universe in my hands in my heart with my breath i will carry stars in my smile underneath my skin in my blood so that way no one can define me there is a galaxy inside in this body i am infinite
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Jun 10, 2020
Jun 10, 2020 at 3:57 AM UTC
endless
when i thought my world was ending every time my heart would break all the nights i collapsed into myself i realized i can start over and rebuild into something incredible these wounds will not be the end of me this is the beginning call me Phoenix i will rise from ashes and be born again
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Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 12:20 PM UTC
self love
life is a beautiful mystery and wonder full of dreams and miracles a infinite sky above filled with possibilities among peace chaos exists here too bad days will come but they will go just like a hurricane it will pass dark days will swallow your heart in whole but there is light somewhere always to be found it's okay to cry it's okay to break joy will pour in your wounds like rain if you can't find hope around you become it it is within you to keep going to keep moving to keep growing despite the scars you're still holding on broken souls become strong warriors everything will be okay i promise you one day at a time magnificent things are blooming for you
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May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 5:23 PM UTC
hope
it was lovely being a part of your life for a moment. i hope your heart gravitates to where it wants to be safely. so, i’m letting you go now. don’t come back to me with half-apologizes. you stopped talking to me without warning. i am not the reason behind your selfish decision; do not blame me. your guilt does not belong to me. you didn't deserve me. i was not meant for you. maybe, we were just simply a learning lesson for each other's lives. i hope you’ve learned this: don’t treat a girl like she is more ghost than woman. i’ve learned something too: i will not open up my soul to those who does not see the fire within me.
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Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 1:49 AM UTC
ghosting
being a hopeless romantic is a tragedy sometimes. you’re aching for love. it screams in your throat. so, you search for it in love movies, tv shows, music, the sound of rain, cafés, couples on the street holding hands walking towards the sun, a stranger eating alone in a coffee shop as they're reading the odyssey, the way how city lights burn in the dark at 5am; you assume anyone that you meet is your soulmate because you both have similarities in whatever makes your hearts burn with desire. you’ve already imagined what life would be like if they loved you before you could tell them your name. the moment you see that they’re not who you dreamed of, you soon realize: not everyone around you has the heart to let love pour in their blood like sunlight. not everyone welcomes it into their bodies. loneliness rises to the surface of your chest like water. you eventually break your own heart because you thought that they felt your passion start a fire in their soul. you feel yourself collapsing into ruins, yet this longing for love is addicting. you’re always going to crave it, no matter much it hurts to know that some people will never love you back.
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Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 7:15 AM UTC
never ending heartache
i chase love like a starving beast, wanting to catch it and bite into it. love is a messy thing, i know. i want love. i crave love. i need love. i can never be too full of it. i want to drown myself in it. it is a mess i don't mind creating.
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Dec 16, 2019
Dec 16, 2019 at 5:19 AM UTC
hunger