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sydney-bittner
sydney-bittner
21/F Eyes closed, head first, can't lose.
Your sister is smoking a cigar in the back seat, and you're coughing dramatically, eyes squinted in disgust Selena Gomez' new song is introduced on the radio and you're turning to ask "What do you think?" Right as the sun is sliding warm kisses behind the brown of your eyes And I'm thinking about my hands and the shape of your thighs "I NEEDED TO HATE YOU TO LOVE ME" Sure, her voice is recognizeable, memorable But "the lyrics are predictable" Two months later and I'm drunk out of my mind Lying on my livingroom floor and sobbing up at the ceiling With that same voice shooting love like ****** into my heart THIS DANCE IT WAS KILLING ME SOFTLY and all I can see when I close my eyes is the fall colored leaves Your maroon hat, and your laugh, and the way you dance away after playfully slapping me in the *** SET FIRE TO MY FOREST AND I LET IT BURN And I'm thinking wow, i think I've really seen it. I know what its like to pour all of myself into a bottomless cup
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Jan 2, 2020
Jan 2, 2020 at 12:13 AM UTC
Rose colored glasses all distorted
The chain of my necklace has been twisted all day and I'm trying to convince myself that your voice on the phone isn't the shot of ***** I need to feel sane I can imagine what you might say, "I'm sorry baby but I just don't feel that way" I put my feet on the ground and its your music in my ears again I turn my heart around and still can only imagine your hands on my skin You're lost but I thought I'd found a new way to manifest a grin I reach in, I swallow all those sharp pains like unchewed chips I tear it out, I smell your perfume and I taste your gum on my lips What a shout, a scream into the void you and I could have been
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Dec 31, 2019
Dec 31, 2019 at 2:00 PM UTC
Swear I will always paint you
Let my memory reverberate in the hot pain of an oil burn. The relief of a summer shower, too. I could taste the cruelty of tomorrow- I was ready to soften the blow for you. I put on my dancing shoes. Took a revealing dress off the rack- Became untethered, brand new. Transferred a perception of reality, Unzipped that protective jacket- For what? Beneath my feet, the grass again- Under my skin, that rage begins. I built it up, I towered above. I glowed and shimmered inside your love- What a waste. Just because something burns bright, Doesn't mean its gonna burn forever
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Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC
Once you **** the fire
You were always tearing up the tree roots And lighting up the sky at night. Seemingly ravid in your destruction- You were striking down on Fools and geniuses alike. Something to write home about, Houses on fire and telephone poles Crashing through windows. What an awe inspiring sight. I imagine a world where you make no sound- I cannot reconcile with it,I was there beside you. Shattering houses and Littering branches across the ground. I let the world know your glory With every breath i could find, Waking slumbering babies with a fright. If you were lightning- A bright flash of purpose- Then i swear i would have been Thundering forever. I wanted To vibrate your beauty Out into the universe. I wanted To let it be known that you were strong. I wanted to be the sound you made. I wanted to be the seconds in between. The miles that stretched Between fear and praise. But then the clouds cleared And either you became tired Or lost your spite. And I no longer Found the purple light That painted the skies. No more Was there a song for me to sing I could not find the words- The epic poem that you Seemed to deserve. So i handed my voice to the rain. I let it wash us away, you and I We made way, we let the storm Move out. You did not want For me to bring on the day. But I fell for the sun- And now I am but a rooster On a farm somewhere In Arizona. I used to be thunder, Tell electricity it was nice to know her.
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Sep 11, 2019
Sep 11, 2019 at 10:28 AM UTC
Lightning and his lover, thunder
Every grassy field In the middle of the day and at the end of the night With your baggage galloping circles around us All those car rides With melodies that sound like that forbidden word And silence that swallows shaking wrists Your skin, your lips They feel the same as country skies My eyes An ocean that you swim, still mastering that cross stroke I ache to unlock that door of your mind I know that every receptor is golden And every lobe glows violet Our brains Always intercepting, collapsing under memory's warning It seems we'll never give in Just as you look away Just as I'm learning to lock myself out That solar heart exposes us Descendents of icarus will always need more your veins They run with the same fire as mine I have a plan I want for everything real, I want to take a bite Out of the whole world I want to absorb everything bright And reflect it at a higher wattage I dont waste my time on silence I dont beat around the bush of modesty I know when I need to grow I know the right time to dive And the right time To give up the gun I've finished hiding behind dignity I see no point to playing coy anymore My vision blurs when you enter a room I won't pretend I dont know what that means Not when i rely so heavily on my sight So go ahead, let it tear us apart I've found the cure for a broken heart In poetry and sad songs And a sunset soaked lake So here goes Even if I told myself I'd never say it first With the feeling of that moment Spent between the cliff and the water Even if it means no more good mornings With the feeling of your hand on my thigh I am afraid But i think that makes me brave
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Sep 4, 2019
Sep 4, 2019 at 1:20 PM UTC
Opia
Every grassy field In the middle of the day and at the end of the night With your baggage galloping circles around us All those car rides With melodies that sound like that forbidden word And silence that swallows shaking wrists Your skin, your lips They feel the same as country skies My eyes An ocean that you swim, still mastering that cross stroke I ache to unlock that door of your mind I know that every receptor is golden And every lobe glows violet Our brains Always intercepting, collapsing under memory's warning It seems we'll never give in Just as you look away Just as I'm learning to lock myself out That solar heart exposes us Descendents of icarus will always need more your veins They run with the same fire as mine I have a plan I want for everything real, I want to take a bite Out of the whole world I want to absorb everything bright And reflect it at a higher wattage I dont waste my time on silence I dont beat around the bush of modesty I know when I need to grow I know the right time to dive And the right time To give up the gun I've finished hiding behind dignity I see no point to playing coy anymore My vision blurs when you enter a room I won't pretend I dont know what that means Not when i rely so heavily on my sight So go ahead, let it tear us apart I've found the cure for a broken heart In poetry and sad songs And a sunset soaked lake So here goes Even if I told myself I'd never say it first With the feeling of that moment Spent between the cliff and the water Even if it means no more good mornings With the feeling of your hand on my thigh I am afraid But i think that makes me brave
Continue reading...
50
My neurons are sliced right through the middle. Connections scatter in desperation; Half of who I am, Half of what I say, Even the food I ate- A gift to my intellect, you remain. The brain that now seems so far away- You leave me half-witted. You take the me out of what I used to be My conciousness is riddled With flash photographs of yours. I'm sorting through the carnage What half is mine? What half am I?
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Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 4:21 PM UTC
Crescendo III
I am drawing patterns along your palms With the tips of my fingers, And your voice is piercingly cold As it shimmers across my skin. You say I am not enough- And then you soak in me, A cat in a patch of sunlight. One moment purring in baritone The next, hissing in falsetto. You say you may want another- But you shiver in the silence Of my absence, i know What it is that you want. You want the world spinning- You want the possibility of pain- You want to stand on that window ledge Again and again. But I am not chaos and strife. I am their daughter, And I have built a home In the eye of a tornado. I do not tear houses from the ground, I do not uproot forestry- I am the rope that holds down the fort. I am a good man in a storm.
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Aug 16, 2019
Aug 16, 2019 at 2:07 PM UTC
Daedalus' apprentice
At your most vulnerable- With your shield down, your lights off. Your eyes warm, comfortable- The universe speaks to me. You are a collection of life's loving, sharpest lessons. You are all those sensations Represented by moments; Soft voice in a midnight tent On an august's dewy night. Skinned knee on the hot gravel And a mother's tender kiss. We're everything and nothing- Time tears all matter apart. But I think your stardust was born on the meteor next to mine.
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Aug 1, 2019
Aug 1, 2019 at 11:25 AM UTC
A galaxy's frontal lobe
Glamorous indie rock and roll Switches station to become R&B favourites And in part I'm forgetting the wombats And fall out boy And the 1975 So I can close my eyes Against the city skyline Because I see your frame In every flashing light I believe in unfamiliar words. I let the beat convince me- It is not jarring to be alone. But I'm missing the beauty of lyrics Did I abandon the meaning For the sound?
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Jul 29, 2019
Jul 29, 2019 at 10:47 AM UTC
Crescendo II
There is that sourness in the form of a word Displacement of all efforts When you look into the blanket folds And readjust to privacy Who am I when I'm not tucked into your shoulder blades? What is mischief if you're not laughing? And tenderness too- For that I always looked to you And i still do
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Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 10:31 PM UTC
Crescendo I