light reveries follow her
and command that
she never again leave this city
a cast of riotous thousands
of which I had forgotten
are hanging about me, shyly
— my garland of wasted poesies hang
where no rain has fallen
and in a rather weak manner
she’s confessed in barren words
so strange and feverish,
that her blossomed eyes
made her unfit for a better place
outside in the dusted earth
it was the same story
sally forth and you will be sacrificed
here the altar shares the same hue, like me
it is dark and fiery
full of the forgotten lies
of a thousand crazy devils
far afield the handsome hide
the conquered enemy
that tyrants fear to kiss
while the young hold open their graves
Did I confess that I had almost been his wife?
the pleasant secret wasted my time
(such doomed gibberish)
I’d like to know without asking
what it was that I saw in the mirror
— smoky shadows departed
— a lavender blush exploding
into a strange madness,
by heaven, I am guilty
but like my gentle queen
I am haunted, great and solemn
she’d been amused by its black coat,
its eyes and hair,
but my wild stallion rests alone
in a purple wilderness, not quite of Damascus
where a corridor of tears are metal-steeled for glory and a monstrous cascade of
forget-me-nots are placed between my toes
so that I should love that murderer
(me, an effigy?)
it seemed a shame but which way the city?
they’d brought the men out
just so far in strength
and found that their monsters
were ruined by the twilight
I myself fancied stillness
rather like melted wax
and might lay here sleeping, forever
Apr 25, 2022
Apr 25, 2022 at 12:34 PM UTC
stuck in the bed all day, eyes glowing
dark liquid worlds
frightful icicles
an impatient and unfinished murmur
the blouse opened in the front
restores me to my common sense
(i don’t mean to encourage him, the imp)
fighting against necessity
you’d gone and spoilt everything
and even if I had fallen
looking so solemn I could not help
but to laugh in the mirror
banished within a small apartment,
dry and quiet
not for from folly or contrivance
the meek surrendered unexpected,
finding pleasure in my merest touch
unfriendly, you let yourself go
[Enter Fool.]
courtship lives (here) where there is ringing
do you love me?
do you see how I am treated?
I saw nothing but your excitement
in the confusion when the fallen angels
lagged behind the incredulous
in semi-darkness
left behind alone
one hand rests upon me
and then another
and it was not my fault
one thing has been overlooked
and you needn’t blame me
as I’ve not forgotten
like me the ghosts departed
the vain stars glittered
waiting for my reply,
and so farewell
trapped in regular intervals
the northern lights smiled brightly
but that’s enough
if they try any more than that
I don’t know what might happen
Apr 22, 2022
Apr 22, 2022 at 12:39 PM UTC
I am the Final Girl
Tell Mom and Dad in Heaven
that I Made It
and it was epic
though sometimes
I’m not so sure
that it’s over
little rumblings appear in the distance
peripheral glitches
strange things follow me
in daylight
they seem to know who I am
where I’m going
but I am quick
I have had the last laugh
I was ‘the one that got away’
never was there a clean solid ending
like after the high school prom
never did I hold a sword in hand
blood-splattered
alone
while the credits rolled in darkness
but all the same
I think that I’ve won
but will I remain victorious?
I can still feel about me
at times
a certain dread
that waits close at hand
ready
I know that I
was a missed opportunity
but there are advantages
in being underestimated
and of that I am thankful
sometimes dumb but deliberate flies
think that they are spiders
and old gray mice may fancy themselves
feline
how they linger, entranced
dazzled by luminescence (how I shine!)
and circle back again
one time more
when they shouldn’t
they take too long and are lost,
it works every time
I wanted you to know
Mom and Dad in Heaven
that my salvation
was like a soft ripple
gently pushed to shore
safety of a sort
after much ado
fighting on all sides, relentless
everyone a daemon
maybe even you? can’t help but wonder...
I was surprised to find out
just how casual
could be my destruction
how assured how confident
how very ordinary
how little it takes to break a person
I’ve seen it time and time again
(why, life itself!)
But here I am
calm yet concerned
I will not babysit
I will not enter that shack
I will not stop for gas
I will not drive shotgun
I will not take a swim
I will not ask for directions
I will not spend the weekend at the cottage
And I don’t want the doll
Not that party
Not that apartment
Not that country road
Not that doctor
Not that friend
Not that brother
Not that lover
Not that fool
Not anyone
I will not ____
I will not ____
I will not ____
I’ve locked the door upon myself
and no phone will ring from within
Hey Mom and Dad in Heaven!
I made it!
I miss you guys!
I am the Final Girl
(and it was epic)
Apr 15, 2022
Apr 15, 2022 at 12:20 PM UTC
the boy most dearly loved by folly
was taken by a jealous sea,
reclaimed in fact for singing,
while out of doors
leaving me behind with time to think
by this fireplace, silent
and cautious by halves
at my doorway,
a grey mouse fidgeted, curious
pointing ‘this way’
with some calculation
and its bitter giggle denounced me
tho nervous, watchful
waiting for the imminent flood
nimble with his tail, when
he began to dance a silent game
I thought this all rather strange
(there was nothing that I could hear nor see)
this thing to be recovered
from the trembling waters
whatever it is, I will find it
as some strange blaze has come
for my gutted heart,
baking in its own ashes
come the wanton twilight
you can hear that the lotus flowers,
impatient,
cannot not keep time
and eventually with no melody,
will forget all about me
their muddy pink petals,
taste bitter
what greater tenderness
does the sea remember?
what song?
barefoot, near salty shores
fast-escaped from this prison called love,
have I ever been fairly compensated?
the sky holds no trace of his melody
the notes have not lingered in the airs,
hanging beyond my reach,
however tuneful they had once been
my giggling mouse
suggests that the Queen
had given me all the facts,
none of which can I remember
(what queen? what facts?)
somehow I’m wanting more,
nevertheless,
I have no loose ends
Mar 28, 2022
Mar 28, 2022 at 5:25 PM UTC
Go ahead and try
to sell to the sailors
a blaze of deliriums,
or any sort of thing
The stars fell for the illusion
and I would too
if I could believe in their lost reputations
Raw with grief
they thought me mad
so let the stars divide
in this withered sort of dream
All the elements combined
to forge a rare thing
reeling against the heavens.
What have they been doing
in the mist-filled wilderness?
I could have amazed you
by lighting it in the dark
where I felt a soft helplessness,
and the flames might conspire
to miss me too
but somehow, we are all more wonderful (pretending)
Over my sailor’s head
all the seas laughed and laughed,
and laughed again
nothing left for me but tragic flowers
and wreaths.
I’d call that foolish
I’d prefer not to become
another one of his
tho I’m sure
that I will read about
what happened tomorrow
The inner doors opened
and he retraced his weary steps
along the (gangplank)
but really, you should have
a lady’s mind like mine
arranging my morning alone in this room
a face to the ground
quite motionless
Sitting so nicely
they hadn’t guessed
what unfinished tragedy
by which the dead
argue with history
We danced until his last hour
when as if by magic, darkness came
and in a low voice he whispered
I am brave
Mar 20, 2022
Mar 20, 2022 at 12:45 PM UTC
is it not tomorrow then
when darkness comes and shadows deepen?
I felt a tug about my elbow and so I chased him down, the fool
I can’t stop smiling because I know
that ghosts pass through the arch here amongst the trees
a passing fable, her tongue calls for holy ones
and a back-talking raven (too large)
declares that these
dazzling creatures visit here
all four seasons the year
drenched in this
strange golden atmosphere
where the new light moves
I have seen one waiting
but it will not last
Mar 16, 2022
Mar 16, 2022 at 1:07 PM UTC
I kicked and thrashed about
as the golden halos fell
not settling for a perfect, easy peace
I could feel them approaching
the calm, steady breathing of this crowd
young and scattered
I was stroking the injury
I was ousted from my bed
The moon so beautifully
wanders along
amid its own awful brightness
matching silence upon silence
and merits some reflection
but about that part
where the tame are blushing
not even the gods will fight
Mar 16, 2022
Mar 16, 2022 at 1:06 PM UTC
grapevines and honey?
O, spinster!
I will endure the sea!
war? let this come too
we feared the news from abroad
fates upon the shore
so rare a breast, mine
the vistas bellow
I wove a tapestry of chance
and we could have enjoyed the mad labyrinth,
but instead we are lost
the first swan shall answer my questions
(living within the flames)
with a budding springtime hypothesis
it will warn that you shall win me in two days
and marry me in six
small hands will appear
waving on these hills
those little men
dulled by their own brightness
having stirred behind the curtains
the sun sets in one direction only
and if the seed is lost
it is too late
the sky, now empty
looked weary
and faint with fear
I spoke to you of
Love’s Sincerity
but it was worse than before
I said that I felt formless, but
my heart went along
shaping itself instead
while under the sky I talked to you
but I have not even the vaguest
little smile to share
your attempts deserve far more
but your beauty made it impossible
the field mouse heard the thunder clap
and was sadly
in the end
betrayed by a water sprite
my nation’s flags are all in tatters
come along, we’ll go together
Mar 16, 2022
Mar 16, 2022 at 1:03 PM UTC
The officer rode off,
following instead the other one
and I was sure that he’d never cry out
in a cold fury,
I, myself was full of peace and joy
as I didn’t know then
that horrors
have a half-life
but there it is
instead come and sing!
make me merry!
***** was his nature
with a mouth full of a ******** teeth
I beheld this vision of chewed brambles
and him
with too many feathers and fearfully soft,
a wasted sweetness
gutted, extinct
I smashed the glass and heard
an owl’s muffled cry
from very far away
‘eureka!’
the night’s thunder dances
kissing many a god’s
honey drops of warning:
Don’t give a thing to that puzzler there
Mar 16, 2022
Mar 16, 2022 at 1:02 PM UTC
loving a thousand times
in the strangest fashion
any gentlewoman would be ill-equipped
feeling very small and broken
an enchanted world went round and round
the green wanders
follows midnight
the first thing i did was to look
quite pleased finding
a shining fire and haze
calling out to sailors
I could not persuade a gorgon’s heart
unshaven hungry wild
I caught the last glimpse of an underworld
but burned my fingers
feeling my way
Indeed I have lost him
beyond the edges of my own light
Mar 3, 2022
Mar 3, 2022 at 1:33 PM UTC