If only I had ignored that weak self, that stupid self,
that self who let it all go wrong.
I could be one of those cheerful people who take
being alright for granted, who strive for excellence
instead of just normality.
one of those people who look in the mirror
and see only themselves never noticing traces
of an unwelcome stranger.
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015 at 2:51 AM UTC
I am the wrong of everything
that makes my once here world long gone,
the bitterness which haunts my life,
the no victory no defeat but also no peace,
the no love no hate but also no calm
but never excitement. always silence.
I am the terrible of whatsoever
makes its way into it all,
the disgustingness of solitude,
the loneliness of thought.
I am the reason for the something else,
though it matters to no one to me,
I am the ****** of the goodnight dear sleep well,
the goneness of the now.
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 5:52 AM UTC
the gloomy morning seems to go on forever,
yet the day ends all too soon.
life is like this
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 2:32 PM UTC
There has been a disturbance to the very foundation
of what I once was,
all starting from one morning I don't remember when,
all ending ever since.
Each day seems another day wasted,
another day tallied before the death
which seems ridiculously far off,
can life really be this long?
It's strange-
when you're happy, death seems all too near,
when you're sad all too far away.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 10, 2015 at 10:00 PM UTC
looking for a hidden meaning in your words,
hoping there is one,
perhaps deceiving myself,
hoping you think of me with more than
the plain.
but when I look at you, you are looking away,
never at me.
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015 at 1:05 PM UTC
The problem with my sadness is that I cannot explain it
to anyone.
It is so quiet, so subtle, a reminder in the back of my mind,
a gloominess overlooking all time,
and in its quietness it is unbearable,
unsharable,
a pain all my own.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 5:21 PM UTC
I am tired;
tired of waking, tired of sleeping,
tired of crying, tired of holding back tears,
tired of breathing, tired of holding my breath,
tired of working hard, tired of being lazy,
tired of living, tired of dying,
tired of love, tired of hate,
tired of dreams, tired of dreamless nights,
tired of thoughts, tired of blankness of mind,
tired.
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 12:40 PM UTC
as if the world could collapse with one disapproving
syllable spoken from your mouth,
as if the reason you hardly sleep at all is because the sun
and moon got in an argument over who gets to spend their hours with
you and decided to compromise,
as if the rain falls simply because you look so lovely with
an umbrella in your hands and I secretly forget mine
on purpose because I want to stand under yours with
you.
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 1:00 PM UTC
a tiredness overcomes me that is deeper than love
and duller than feeling
I am not sleeping
I have not slept
and yet I do not think of sleep
so what do I think of?
I think of love and warmth but my veins are cold and
sticking out of my hands in a disgusting way that bothers me
quite extensively.
I want to get a surgery to get rid of all the veins in my
body, can I do that?
if you know a doctor please refer me.
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 27, 2015 at 12:19 PM UTC