You are a mountain and you're casting shadows on waves
Keeping your head above water
That I'm drowning under unsaved
Friction-less voices all coming to surface my grave
I am a ghost under the burning sun
I'm a slave
This isn't therapy
When they're pushing words
And shoving me into the dirt
To cover me and leave me hurt
Their punishing only makes it worse
You are a mountain and I'm seeking shelter from rain
Tossing the stones aside, I'm running from all the pressure and pain
Guide me back to the path I once walked before going insane
My mind sank in the sea when I sought to resurface again
I was carted away by the coldest of hands
Set astray to be picked cleaned of impure demands
But sanctuary should never be a barren land
A broken shelter and untouched miles of desert sand
This isn't therapy
They're pushing words and shoving me
Into the dirt to cover me
And leave me hurt
Their questioning only makes it worse
You are a mountain and I'm bathed in shadows you've cast
Back down from heaven
I'm learning to let go of past
Cloaked in your darkness I do not mind walking through glass
I'm learning to never trust love when it comes by too fast
This isn't therapy, but
You are a mountain
And my saving thread.
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 11, 2016 at 12:09 AM UTC
Adrift now, the shore is gone.
And sure enough, the signs were wrong.
A steering wheel to rest
the weary head in this steel trap,
a prison bed. Lay down
and stay a while.
The sea will sing us all to sleep.
A hush and a cry, its melody
will carry us beneath a blanket of waves.
That bridge could never take us to where
we wanted our lives to go, anyway.
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 14, 2015 at 1:52 PM UTC
She’s a monstrosity
A fire in my sky
More now than she used to be
All my rivers running dry
Defying gravity although
She claims to have created
I am the earth and she… Is all I never knew I hated
In my head, a crescendo
“Shut up, shut down, take a seat, not a sound”
Trying to make myself just
Shut up, shut out, and take my place under the ground
This summer started like a poison
Seeping slowly as I let it take control
A tiny pill and one small breath
Is all it took to swallow me whole
It started like a drum,
A quiet pounding in my chest
A steady tempo as I gasp
To take each shallow breath
It started like a storm and heavy throbbing in my brain
Taste metal on my tongue
With every drop of acid rain
It crashed inside me like a virus,
A nightmare under sedation
And from me took my voice,
Eyes in and out of focus
Losing myself, I feel the change
Her smile pulls me back,
But still the pain remains
Losing myself, learning how to hate
Myself… letting go of my restraint
Cut the noose that holds me up
Freedom is just a fall away
Keep cutting because now I know
That I cannot make her stay
This summer began in flames,
A fire to light the dark
It will all end in rain,
A flood to drown my heart
There is no escape; I’ve no place to run
The fire now cowers behind dark clouds
My life to come undone
When did forever end?
How was it that I missed the boat?
The sky is falling fast and I cannot keep the sun afloat.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 1:09 AM UTC
She is my gaping wound
And my tourniquet
An ancient god
When I need modern medicine
She is a thing I happened upon
Who stole the water from the vein
But she isn't the drought
For she is the rain
It took a death
To know of life
Set my love free
Then paid the price
I happened upon a needle
The surrounding hay praised its name
But their god pricked my finger
Now I don't bleed the same
As I once did
Some of the pieces spilled out
And there are not enough jars
In a world filled with lids
She is a song on a deaf ear
A fallen autumn leaf
She is the forest torn to shreds
To make a Christmas wreath
She is my lover and she is my killer
For I was the field and she was the tiller
Behold all that we should happen upon
For that which kills us
May also bring
All we shall know of joy.
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 1:10 AM UTC
As shadows fail to shield
The broken little pieces
In descent
Alter shape when passing
Through in loops and bends
Down hallways with no end
Yet still ticks the clock
And so shatters the glass
All over her satin dress
What will have to come undone
During the waking hours
We can’t hold onto this
We've made a mess
When the bow breaks
The only thing left is
The falling and the feeling
Of the pins and the needles
That only hurts when you’re awake.
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 11:31 PM UTC
I haven't slept since September
Savoring a dream that I can no longer remember
Because the crows have picked me all but clean
Chipped away at flesh and bone
I'm naked and unseen
I think we're better off this way
Bare and cold and broken
The rains have fallen and then frozen
There's no smoke in the walkway
Just a ghost in the ashtray
Of a fading little ember
And the fleeting memory
Of the dream I had last September.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 12:59 AM UTC
I had hoped the stars would be brighter
From this height
Perhaps I should have turned left
And not stayed right
I wasn't meant for this
The mere mention of eternal bliss
Sent me clinging to the dirt
Prayer is just a whisper
When you fail to see your worth
I thought that I could walk on the waves of heaven
Sought to speak with the Creator
That I might make sense of the message
I would come to understand much later
It was a holy dream
Through unholy means.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 10:48 PM UTC
This may seem a bit forward and
I do not mean to shake the ground beneath you
Or reshape the silver lines in the clouds that paint your sky
But you fascinate me
To have lived so many years in such a short time
Has left a fire in your eyes that burns
To rival the sun in a sublime glow
This may seem a bit forward but I
Just thought that you should at least know
If you could see from where I stand
Each strand of your auburn locks
Falls then slows to a hang
And holds your own brand of empowered beauty
Sorry if this scares in any way
But I feel it my duty to say
That you fascinate me
Separate me from the ghost I used to see
Staring blankly from my bathroom mirror
Where I once stood just left of center
From where I now stand
In awe of the shadow you cast
So brightly on the path
I swear I used to walk the line
Drawn in the sand by the hand of the divine
Before I found out it was only a crack
In the pavement
Where I stand
Fascinated
Captivated by the words you share
Intoxicated and in disrepair
From where I stand
The horizon smears your name
In a blur of orange and purple
And those wavy auburn strands.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 3:40 PM UTC
I am no longer the battlefield
The rapture is in my hands
I am the space between rain drops
I am the air, the sea, and land
I am the dragon that exhaled
The smoke to make the clouds
No longer do I dredge through sands
Adorned in burial shroud
I am time and I have created all that I see
Right now is forever
And with a blink I can erase history
As though yesterday was never
I am an illusion
All that is you claim to see
Is only there if you perceive it to be
But it isn’t there and nor are you
Becoming less aware
Only my sight can make you whole
You are not the flesh you wear
I was conceived inside a dream
I am the new creator
Creating dreams you cannot see
Because I am saving them for later
The rapture is in my child’s tears
Frozen in a broken heart
The softest and most fragile things
Can tear my inner worlds apart
There is still life here in still-life
When we wake, the sand turns into stone again
The flame’s becoming cold again
And you cannot breathe under water
Only because you don’t believe you can
I am eternal and I have found home
Where each second lasts for hours
And forever never counts past one
Time ticks in the bloom of a flower
Learn to measure life by moments
Not by dollars or by minutes
When life begins at every breath
The past becomes irrelevant.
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 10:46 PM UTC
I have sent a drop of rain that you will get some time tomorrow
Two inside a paper cup just to drown away your sorrow
Another drop upon the heart that I now seek to borrow
Three more frozen with the words we kept holding to the morrow
I'll send a drop of rain for each tear that you have wept
One at a time to ease the pain of promises made but never kept
So save the water inside jars, my garden ceiling is turning gray
Each blade of grass a glass-like shard since the day I went away.
In the absence of light, she sang to me a lyric
We had both been awake, but I could barely hear it
And although she was desperate, no sound was left heard
Through her quivering lips, never uttered a word
I listened for hours, as the sun scorched the earth
Until night fell upon us and the moon came to birth
Every dream that we shared, the *** and the violence
She now carries despair and that gut-wrenching silence
Memory of her faded as time grew less relevant
And years fled in the spires of light with no end
I will never know of the things she had said
But I felt them sink into where I lay with the dead.
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014 at 11:33 PM UTC