It's only been a few days
But the hurt of losing you hasn't gone away
And no matter what I do,
I always end up thinking of you.
I want to call you and hear the sound of your voice
But the realization that I can't fills me like a blank void.
I wish I can see you one last time to tell you that I love you and know that you're fine,
To see your warm smile again,
And to hold my hand like you did when I was a child back then
But knowing that I can't makes my heart cry,
I never knew it would be this hard to say goodbye.
Or to miss someone you know you'd never see again.
And never did I know pain the way I have these past days,
Since you left that cold night of Tuesday.
I miss you so much I can't believe you're no longer here
But I know you're finally resting after living 98 amazing years
And I know one day I'll be with you again
To tell you many stories and how life has been
But until then I'll hold on to the memories I have with you
And share every one of them whenever I tell someone about you,
You'll always be with me in my heart
Even if you have part
I'll see you again one day soon
Until then know I'll always miss you, mamita.
And I love you.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 4:02 PM UTC
He loves me, he loves me not
I pluck the petals
And watch them drop
I sit and wonder
Unable to take the overthinking any longer
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I hear your voice telling me everything is fine
But deep down inside
I know that everything is not alright
And as the overwhelming feeling sink in,
I feel a tear fall
As I try to breathe in
He loves me, he loves me not
I begin to feel the faint burn
Of your last caring touch
Against my quivering lips
The tears begin to fall
As I pluck the last white petal
Our memories flashed in the blink of an eye
And all I want
Is to hear you say
That you love me
Even though I know
You love me not.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 9:11 PM UTC
I swear I can still feel the aftermath of your kiss on my tongue,
And it's burning over the smoke that's lingering in my lungs.
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 10:36 PM UTC
Old lover,
It's been years
Since I've last seen your face
Covered with tears
And a frown
As we began to part ways,
I heard you softly whisper
"Darling, I'll always love you."
I turned and replied
With a heavy sigh
"I loved you but your love was
Just a game of lies.
You said your heart beated for me,
Like mine only did for you,
But your heart had actually
Always beated for two.
So don't you dare
Blame this on me,
When the fault is all on you."
You stood there quiet,
Then walked away
Right there I knew
And without a word
I turned and left
Without looking back at you.
Old lover,
It's been years
Since I last saw your face
I start to think
As I light my cigarette
Under the old willow tree
Where we used to always be.
And as I traced my fingertips
Over the carved heart
Where you imprinted our names
That one hot summer day,
I think to myself,
How stubborn are these scars when they don't fade away,
And how stubborn is a heart
When it continues to break.
As I stood up to leave
I turned to face the old willow tree
My mind flooded by memories,
Of what once was and what no longer will be.
I reached for my lighter,
staring into the flame
And walked up to the old willow
Setting it ablaze
Burning the last bridge
To those memories we once made
I watched it burn
A growing ache my heart
Met with a deep sigh with relief
Of finally letting go
A long dead memory.
Nov 16, 2013
Nov 16, 2013 at 12:32 AM UTC
Tears streamed down her face
As blood ran down her wrists.
Lately she had been feeling out of place,
trying to comprehend how her life had come to this.
Her grey eyes, that were filled with sadness and pain,
Met with the piece of metal that had won the battle again.
She takes a deep breath,
As her anxiety kicked in
And all her thoughts became one; death.
She dropped the empty bottle of pills
And, slowly, took herself to bed
feeling the numb and emptiness in her build,
Her bracelets were now covered in red.
The once sweethearted girl
Who used to wear a genuine smile,
Became weakened by the world
And gave into a permanent decision because she couldn't hold on for another while.
She closed her eyes
And listened to the rain,
That began to lightly pour outside her bedroom window,
And started to feel less and less of the pain.
She slowly drifted into a deep slumber,
As her breaths became distant dying sounds over the incoming thunder
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 10:22 PM UTC
Look into my eyes,
and you'll see the seas that I've cried.
Look right into them
and see what's behind my smile of lies.
Look at the scars on my skin
behind each one is a story carved in
of each time I lost a battle
and gave in.
Are you looking deep enough to see me?
Hiding behind walls avoiding to be seen
running from the demons
from inside, that are chasing me.
Can you see my aching soul?
And the darkness that doesn't lessen but grows?
Can you see who I really am?
The one who's isolated, scared and alone.
Can you see into my eyes?
Past the tears I've cried and smiles that are lies?
Are you looking deep enough to see,
behind my round brown eyes,
my excruciating desire to end my life.
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 4:04 PM UTC