still swells over and bursts
still flows quickly and fills
still when i wasn’t looking
still when i found it
still, unmoving, frozen
still endless
still counting
still becoming
still and stopping
still here
Apr 22
Apr 22, 2026 at 1:56 PM UTC
thinking of myself, at the wrong times
thinking of everyone else, at the wrong times
I’m mixed up I can’t get the timing right
I flip the fried
egg too fast i wasn’t ready
the yolk always spills on me
& the pan was too hot
because
it is about *** and it is
about body it’s a part
of me and I’ve grown
tired
of pretending it’s not
it’s not but it is
an everyday day
and i really shouldn’t care
at this point in the game
but i’ve been avoiding myself
and
counting
my words
come together like glass
shatter when it’s fast,
too loud,
or any of the other
undesirable traits
from my father’s side
(she said)
wash it away but
the waves come back
too quickly;
i can’t help but fall
underwater
again
overflowing on
bad timing
the wrong judgment
a miscalculation
Jul 20, 2025
Jul 20, 2025 at 4:46 PM UTC
(get over it)
click clack counting the minutes
feeling alone lonely on my own
feeling like it’s fake but
i just can’t shake it sinks and it sizzles
across my stomach and my face
does it show?
can you tell?
am i good at hiding or is it spelled
out
there, no one cares
(get over it)
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 8:32 AM UTC
i keep on checking,
and yes -- Life is
still moving on --
<Time heals all> like
they say, and they always have been
saying and like I always have been
reading, and i read --
my therapist reminds me
i'm not a mind reader.
it's lost in translation,
the words get twisted
and they lose their meanings.
i try to feel it, blindly,
the bumps
and the textures
i guess my best but i get it wrong?
a miscalculation, jumping to
or from something im not
quite sure i caught the name of--
so i read on.
Aug 28, 2024
Aug 28, 2024 at 5:40 PM UTC
no one knows i almost drowned this morning
no one knows i fought the rolling waves
no one knows i faced a torrential downpour
im drenched in it i can
feel it but no one else can
no one knows im soaked
head to toe
no one knows im covered
with the droplets,
cold when
the wind blows
Jun 23, 2023
Jun 23, 2023 at 9:53 AM UTC
alice fell down the hole again,
where the clocks don’t begin
and it’s only then when
she realizes
that she’s been falling.
alice fell down the hole again,
and the spiral starts to spin.
she looked around and quietly mused
_im lost again, im awfully confused._
alice fell down the hole again,
in the story that never ends.
she hit her head and cannot tell
which way is up, which way is down.
alice fell down the hole again,
this time, she wasn’t sure she’d call it falling.
her head felt strangely clear now
as she got used to being topsy turvy.
Aug 23, 2022
Aug 23, 2022 at 6:23 PM UTC
and when I stopped looking in mirrors it just
started seeping through all of my other
reflections I cannot just see them
I know “don’t believe them” I
try not to hear them
but it brings me back
to the same feeling
that I thought I left behind
or buried in my own mind
somewhere
i can’t find
the solid footing, the candy coating
wish I could pause it, im exhausted..
im still here
Jun 29, 2022
Jun 29, 2022 at 8:57 PM UTC
one of those days
where everything I say comes
crashing out like waves
and comes together like glass,
shatters, too fast, too loud,
salty, unforgiving,
pouring over people, and
i can tell they all hate it.
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 8:55 AM UTC
knees to chest, chin to knees,
chunky knit sweater scarf patrolling
my peripherals when i want to see
your expression from the corner
of my eye; it starts to slip my mind
and i am a horse with blinders, i am
looking through a window’s blinds that
draw vertical shadows like a maze
out of the morning sun.
you give me the glasses to peer through at you
but then we are laughing like nothing happened,
undermining what happened because nothing happened;
and i open myself to you,
flow like fast lava, molten hot and rushing.
swallowed by my own thoughts until i can’t see you again,
until i can’t see anything-
saw you walking around the other day,
with arms outstretched like wings,
with dark purple eclipses under your
eyes like bad makeup from falling
asleep to the sunrise again.
and i’ll tell you, “you seem tired,”
and you’ll tell me, “i am tired.”
over circles of coffee mug stains on
white, white sheets of papers to
read, Times New Roman burned into
the backs of your eyelids so hot it stings
when you take out your contact lenses.
and i’ll see you now, in a new light-
still halfway shrouded in shadows, you
are like an unfinished rubik’s cube;
i try to put red and red together but
each turn only reveals more colors, more
pieces to collect before i can solve
your puzzle.
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 24, 2014 at 2:34 PM UTC
she soaked up their hateful words
like droplets of rain falling
into open wide
eyes.
her thin spine straightened,
extended notch by notch.
stems grew in-between
spaces once expansive
with loneliness. leaves
sprouted, facing up
like palms reaching
out towards
the sun.
the seeds of bitterness
sprouted into vines
that curled around
her legs and burst
flowers from
her skin.
resentment grew into
fox gloves and freesias,
forget-me-nots and
the occasional flax.
venus fly trap for
a mouth to catch
the judgments
where
they will be digested
slowly, but surely,
as she keeps
growing
and
growing.
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 19, 2013 at 3:41 PM UTC