Every second feels like a minute,
Every minute feels like an hour,
Every sip slows me down like
All the time that dies
Slowly around me.
Every sip I need to sink down and
Suffocate voices deafening within.
Every word you spat, they won't Stop.
Every light that flashes isn't you
Every moment passes with your
Silent.
Every moment needs to be soaked in alcohol for me to see tomorrow.
Every sip helps me forget how
Each moment will pass without You.
Jun 17, 2017
Jun 17, 2017 at 9:00 AM UTC
Two bands on your wrist,
Both different languages but both say,
Home, my home that you made your own.
You sit on the edge of your seat, controller in hand as you run around on screen and scream at a ball that's not really there but I love you for it!
I'm in the kitchen kneading dough watching you smile listening to you call out to me.
We've been through so much, grown together without growing apart.
It's our moments of love that I cherish the most. The kisses and the way you hold me is what I miss most. The way you make me laugh and how complete you make me feel.
I always leave a piece of me behind when I leave you...
only feel complete in those moments when we're together,
Together in a moment of love.
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 6:43 AM UTC
Like a blossoming flower the story unfolded before my tiny eyes,
the screen consumed the room from wall to wall.
My little eyes were rapt by the glow,
entranced by the colour and music,
enveloped completely.
Sparkles of magic seemed to twinkle in my eye and through to
My heart, forever they would prevail.
Sat next to me, the man of my young life, my Dad, my hero.
Every Saturday he'd take me by the hand and we'd embark on adventures to lands unknown, far off places immersed in fantasy.
This particular Saturday would enthrall me more than any other in my three young years, embedding itself in my memory.
It was a tale as old as time, and as I'd find my own years passing by
the tale proved timeless.
The colour and music could whirl around me, each swirl melting away the layers of time until there were just three and
I found myself in that cinema once more,
eyes beaming and heart beating.
Even though my Dad is still my hero and key to who I am,
there's a new man in my life who sits next to me now as the story unfolds on screen once more.
I find myself with my own tale developing,
There's a Beauty, and there's a Beast, but they're not restricted to
one.
Within each of us we have beauty and we each have a beast,
Our tales have unwound and intertwined to become
one.
We find the beauty in each other and tame our beasts,
There is no other I could imagine writing my story with, not
one.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 3, 2017 at 8:38 AM UTC
If your dream is to get married,
Yet his is not,
Do you give up your dream,
Or the guy you can't live without?
For what use is it to be married,
To anyone but him,
Such happiness would not be found
With anyone else, for the sake of a ring.
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 11, 2017 at 9:35 PM UTC
I'm lying here staring out the window,
The ground is not moving and
The house is not shaking.
Silence fills the air
Broken by the odd neighbour talking,
Not screaming,
The odd car purring past,
Not exploding,
Or the odd child laughing as the play,
Not crying
As they die.
I don't lie here on rubble
Or choke on dust and ash,
I know where my friends and family are,
And I'm not exactly strapped for cash.
I'll sigh this evening about work tomorrow
But at least I know I can get there in one piece,
That the building will most definitely be there and that the children I teach
Will arrive safely with all that they need,
And while we might groan about the daily grind
There are people, human beings, in Aleppo,
To whom that is all a distant memory in their mind.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 11:26 PM UTC
I'm sorry.
Twas not my finger that pulled a trigger
Nor was it my signature that sealed the fate
Of an exploding bomb delivering destruction,
Death,
Loss,
Pain,
Suffering.
But I'm still sorry.
My sorry eyes have been blind but always teary,
Guilty,
Helpless,
Longing,
I see your pictures and ache to hold you,
Comfort you,
Soothe you,
Help you.
So sorry.
But I tell myself I need a car,
I need to save,
I need to eat,
I need to think of that trip home,
Christmas presents,
Next weekend,
I need the money but
You need to survive and
I need to wake up and instead of being
Sorry,
I need to be helpful.
We all do.
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 8, 2016 at 9:49 AM UTC
The ******* leaves,
Rustling outside,
The skip along the gravel
Making it scuffle
Like footsteps,
Your footsteps,
Teasing me.
Each time the noise
Falls upon my ear
My heart instantaneously
Beats, pounds
In my throat,
Suppressing the
growing lump which I've been
Trying to swallow for hours.
I don't know when you'll be back,
Or if you'll be back at all,
Your body will
But your heart seems to be elsewhere.
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 25, 2016 at 4:05 AM UTC
Something about the woven leather
Reminds me of sandals you once wore,
In the garden enjoying the sun.
Your shorts and that old cotton vest
the one that was probably once white,
but Nanny wasn't around to do your whites anymore,
and so it grew greyer as your hair grew whiter.
The sun's rays danced through the waves of your hair
and into the garden,
Filling it with light, shining down upon plastic flowers planted among coloured stones.
Smells of stale cakes from bargain stalls and the sugar from flat lemonade in murky cups wafted out the back door and clashed with that overpowering cooking smell as you sat in your sun lounger and baked yourself in vegetable oil, cooking your Irish skin to a crisp!
The flower patterns of your walls in the garden and cast iron patio furniture,
The plastic mat that covered the carpet and always managed to trip us,
The halogen heater in the parlour and blanket on your knees,
The clumps of bullseye sweets in your locker and Quality Street tin of empty wrappers,
The damp and stale smells of the kitchen in your care,
The holy pictures and moving Jesus on the stairs,
The bath marbles we loved to play with and how they'd smash upon collision,
And the pink, silk quilt that enveloped your bed,
They're all pieces in the mosaic that illustrates your memory now and they'll never be broken.
I've glued them so tightly together it's as strong as your jaw!
Your jaw, always known to make eyes water when you'd turn during a goodbye kiss on your cheek and crush our noses! Even when we tried to approach with caution! But oh what anyone of us wouldn't give to feel that again, just to say goodbye and think we'd be over to the Bluebell to see you again.
So now I sit and look at the woven leather on my sandals and remember all the details, all the memories that are woven together to make you. Sometimes I wish I could click the heels together.
Bluebell
Bluebell
Bluebell
And be back in that garden, once more.
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 5:41 AM UTC
Close the door,
Firmly shut,
Hear it click,
Locked away.
Pretend I'm not here,
I'm nowhere,
For I'm not where
I want to be
So
I may as well be nowhere.
I can hear them outside,
Talking,
Laughing,
Love,
Happiness, it's never been so
Heartbreaking.
My heart is filled with joy for them
Yet yearns for the joy I'm missing.
Disappointment consumes me for my eyes
Are not supposed to be green.
Never have I felt so happy for someone
And sorry for myself.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 10:37 PM UTC
I took your ticket and
Pondered the number,
When might it be me?
Was a thought that I wondered
But now, as it seems, you want us to
Stay, not move on, just stay
As we are.
I thought I was playing a
Waiting game,
Anticipation of
Life
Linked in a love to be
Blessed.
Dreams of white
Danced round my head
And although I'm still twirling
It seems the music has stopped
And the wait is no more
For there is no other room
No other next level,
The door locked
And you hold the key
I could cry
Drown in tears
Try to swim through the keyhole
But I thought you were my ticket
Thought you'd let me in
I can't fight in the waiting room,
Nor beg you to move through
For if you wanted me, if you wanted to
You'd have taken my ticket and said
"I do too..."
Aug 18, 2016
Aug 18, 2016 at 8:02 AM UTC