sophie-de-gaulle - Hello Poetry

you said you weren't cold outside meanwhile i melt but my fingertips are still numb from stroking your hair in the spot above the back of your neck and you say that's not helping, that it's hard to leave me tonight that was a mistake, i try to say, but it's easier to lean into the inevitable regret that we now share, if we can share nothing else I told you almost everything and it was as pathetic as I knew it would be the only thing I kept from you, the only thing I kept for myself, a secret beautiful ugly tragic thing was how the first time you kissed me, next to the stairs of an underground parking structure on a clear night with your hands on my waist, when you tasted of cigarettes and vegetarian sushi and I completely, unwittingly, kissed you back, right then I never saw colors before

0

Dec 22, 2018

Dec 22, 2018 at 5:31 PM UTC

Untitled

you said you weren't cold outside meanwhile i melt but my fingertips are still numb from stroking your hair in the spot above the back of your neck and you say that's not helping, that it's hard to leave me tonight that was a mistake, i try to say, but it's easier to lean into the inevitable regret that we now share, if we can share nothing else I told you almost everything and it was as pathetic as I knew it would be the only thing I kept from you, the only thing I kept for myself, a secret beautiful ugly tragic thing was how the first time you kissed me, next to the stairs of an underground parking structure on a clear night with your hands on my waist, when you tasted of cigarettes and vegetarian sushi and I completely, unwittingly, kissed you back, right then I never saw colors before

15

feet up on the metal chair outside the corporate coffee chain we both proclaimed to hate i rode past you on my bike and caught your eye which shifted with your body into alertness i didn’t miss you then, remembering how happy your eyes could be and how warm your voice i still believe you aren’t afraid of anything and that’s why i adore you but it’s all right even though you’d rather not see me and your cold breath left impressions all over my room embrace the process, said no one, but i realized anyway every happy ending is just a memory the next day so is every night that something real becomes too real suffocating you i still don’t blame you between all the books you tried to explain to me and the ones i tried to explain to you the missed glances that meant something only to you the ugly crying i couldn’t keep you from seeing i’ll make it through some way or another but every time i see a figure in black or remember my body in its totality i can’t help but think of yours the feelings come back every now and then and they don’t feel great but i’d rather be unmoored, drifting in a sea of the residue you left behind than weighed down by some fake anchor

0

Aug 13, 2018

Aug 13, 2018 at 12:01 PM UTC

design me a house one day

feet up on the metal chair outside the corporate coffee chain we both proclaimed to hate i rode past you on my bike and caught your eye which shifted with your body into alertness i didn’t miss you then, remembering how happy your eyes could be and how warm your voice i still believe you aren’t afraid of anything and that’s why i adore you but it’s all right even though you’d rather not see me and your cold breath left impressions all over my room embrace the process, said no one, but i realized anyway every happy ending is just a memory the next day so is every night that something real becomes too real suffocating you i still don’t blame you between all the books you tried to explain to me and the ones i tried to explain to you the missed glances that meant something only to you the ugly crying i couldn’t keep you from seeing i’ll make it through some way or another but every time i see a figure in black or remember my body in its totality i can’t help but think of yours the feelings come back every now and then and they don’t feel great but i’d rather be unmoored, drifting in a sea of the residue you left behind than weighed down by some fake anchor

30

to me hedonism feels like reading wikipedia articles on religious figures, avant-garde jazz musicians, neighborhoods in brooklyn. nothing is more self-indulgent than drinking hot coffee in bed at noon and refusing to look outside instead of doing the work or the art i should and i think, "who in the world would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to see things the way i do," because it's pretty lonely

0

Jul 15, 2018

Jul 15, 2018 at 3:54 PM UTC

untitled 251

to me hedonism feels like reading wikipedia articles on religious figures, avant-garde jazz musicians, neighborhoods in brooklyn. nothing is more self-indulgent than drinking hot coffee in bed at noon and refusing to look outside instead of doing the work or the art i should and i think, "who in the world would ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever want to see things the way i do," because it's pretty lonely

5

I am under a rusting fountain smoldering Smoldering, mold, brownish residue That felt your casual heartbreak yesterday And last week And every year You used to climb the tree over there and look up into a stonewashed autumn sky When there were no more books to read You lost your first tooth in his neighbor All the trees you named after characters from an epic story That you left behind when you turned 12 Along with your hopes of success as a lone wolf or warrior You called me into your thoughts just again this morning I wriggled inside the room trying to get you to notice me But your body was still and focused, no longer lacking There was a timeout and a fear of rabid animals There were ideas about how to deal with terrorists on your home turf There was a dead snake in the woodpile There were tiny embroidered cherry blossoms in heaps of laundry for your dolls There were ugly apples falling onto the deck in September I can’t help you anymore Despite my admiration for how you’ve changed Drop the dead leaves back onto the undergrowth for someone else to pick up

0

Nov 19, 2015

Nov 19, 2015 at 10:35 PM UTC

19 November 2015

I am under a rusting fountain smoldering Smoldering, mold, brownish residue That felt your casual heartbreak yesterday And last week And every year You used to climb the tree over there and look up into a stonewashed autumn sky When there were no more books to read You lost your first tooth in his neighbor All the trees you named after characters from an epic story That you left behind when you turned 12 Along with your hopes of success as a lone wolf or warrior You called me into your thoughts just again this morning I wriggled inside the room trying to get you to notice me But your body was still and focused, no longer lacking There was a timeout and a fear of rabid animals There were ideas about how to deal with terrorists on your home turf There was a dead snake in the woodpile There were tiny embroidered cherry blossoms in heaps of laundry for your dolls There were ugly apples falling onto the deck in September I can’t help you anymore Despite my admiration for how you’ve changed Drop the dead leaves back onto the undergrowth for someone else to pick up

22

Death to the ******* demon ___ _____. Death to existence. Cordial in a crystal bottle doesn't impress me, Me? I've glazed over like a technicolour dream in sickly black spit-up and half-uttered heresy I mourned that loss of my anchor so maybe I should get another one tattooed, eh? Late at night I hear purring and engines Every night I hear the cats screaming Looking around from behind my eye lids that require a can opener Somehow I can't seal my mind off from you though.

0

Nov 19, 2015

Nov 19, 2015 at 2:05 AM UTC

18 November 2015

Death to the ******* demon ___ _____. Death to existence. Cordial in a crystal bottle doesn't impress me, Me? I've glazed over like a technicolour dream in sickly black spit-up and half-uttered heresy I mourned that loss of my anchor so maybe I should get another one tattooed, eh? Late at night I hear purring and engines Every night I hear the cats screaming Looking around from behind my eye lids that require a can opener Somehow I can't seal my mind off from you though.

10