sofia-1 - Hello Poetry

I remember how thick life became when you entered it. You broke my pillars to my mind's dominion, Shattered like crystals on the cold dusty floor. I remember how clean you were, So tall and strong and sturdy, You are the farmer's prized plough horse Yet he keeps your name from the town's prying eyes. The picture of grace in a masculine frame! How my own shell, feminine by birth, Could not compare to its wispy movements, Calculated and precise, Chaste, pure, fast, Unforgiving. No room for breath in a sight so eloquent and Visually forceful As your graceful footfalls When they pierce the barricades that stand Weaker in your path. There was no speck of dirt in your fingernails, Your hair a billowing chestnut wave, Snowy eyes smiled only so often, And was your soul as clean? (I believed, dear, that it was) Son, you moved me like a mustard seed moved a mountain And with those dancer's arms you spread them wide And ascended to a height we don't know yet. My little canary My dear, sweet, fierce child Pure as a bar of soap I hope this calls you back to me Someday.

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Feb 22, 2013

Feb 22, 2013 at 11:49 PM UTC

The Boy With Feathers

I remember how thick life became when you entered it. You broke my pillars to my mind's dominion, Shattered like crystals on the cold dusty floor. I remember how clean you were, So tall and strong and sturdy, You are the farmer's prized plough horse Yet he keeps your name from the town's prying eyes. The picture of grace in a masculine frame! How my own shell, feminine by birth, Could not compare to its wispy movements, Calculated and precise, Chaste, pure, fast, Unforgiving. No room for breath in a sight so eloquent and Visually forceful As your graceful footfalls When they pierce the barricades that stand Weaker in your path. There was no speck of dirt in your fingernails, Your hair a billowing chestnut wave, Snowy eyes smiled only so often, And was your soul as clean? (I believed, dear, that it was) Son, you moved me like a mustard seed moved a mountain And with those dancer's arms you spread them wide And ascended to a height we don't know yet. My little canary My dear, sweet, fierce child Pure as a bar of soap I hope this calls you back to me Someday.

31

you will be the death of this frigid soul! how i long for togetherness and sincerity, and the patience to hold out for what this heart longs for most! i must hold out, i am a mere branch on the Vine of all life! there must be more to my temporal, trivial, petty suffering. nothing will resound until i begin to shed these layers of self hatred, faithlessness, and indulgence. i have shed my fearful skin.

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Dec 3, 2012

Dec 3, 2012 at 3:18 PM UTC

excess!

you will be the death of this frigid soul! how i long for togetherness and sincerity, and the patience to hold out for what this heart longs for most! i must hold out, i am a mere branch on the Vine of all life! there must be more to my temporal, trivial, petty suffering. nothing will resound until i begin to shed these layers of self hatred, faithlessness, and indulgence. i have shed my fearful skin.

15

Mentor Shakespeare! He said that expectation was the thief of all joy. (Or was it his cousin Comparison? It might not make a difference.) If I may address you, Adhered--blessed Grandfather of my soul's art, My God's created conduit to His inspiration that flows through me constantly, The ceaseless voice I can never shake off-- I feel this is my only release In the pain I feel --Blessed grandfather, And Father, Ease me in this tumult: I was inclined after a few Short grasps of eyes meeting eyes A shared Smile Maybe then I thought, The loneliness could be lifted, Drifted, Acquitted, Only just for a moment! Only just for a brief break from the drab outline of the life I call mine! (And yet, it is not!) I thought perhaps I was worth a moment Of a precious creation's time. Was it not commonplace to build such dreams In the sand of my stormy shore'd mind But Fathers, What sparks! What electricity can bring down the tallest tower that stands alone in the barrenness of the world, To an elevated illumination in the highest clouds of the most brilliant heaven of Love! Ah, the sharpness of the memories jolts me still! But what of it? All my visions are turned to naught, And I have been struck down And returned to the far corners where I am unreached. Alone and unsought, Feasibly content, the tallest tower remains in its solitude, Unaware that the absence of life cannot render a knowledge of its true state. What a sad shape we are in, To expect the world, over a single pearl found On the tossed beach of the soul.

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Dec 3, 2012

Dec 3, 2012 at 3:01 PM UTC

The pains of hunger, among others

Mentor Shakespeare! He said that expectation was the thief of all joy. (Or was it his cousin Comparison? It might not make a difference.) If I may address you, Adhered--blessed Grandfather of my soul's art, My God's created conduit to His inspiration that flows through me constantly, The ceaseless voice I can never shake off-- I feel this is my only release In the pain I feel --Blessed grandfather, And Father, Ease me in this tumult: I was inclined after a few Short grasps of eyes meeting eyes A shared Smile Maybe then I thought, The loneliness could be lifted, Drifted, Acquitted, Only just for a moment! Only just for a brief break from the drab outline of the life I call mine! (And yet, it is not!) I thought perhaps I was worth a moment Of a precious creation's time. Was it not commonplace to build such dreams In the sand of my stormy shore'd mind But Fathers, What sparks! What electricity can bring down the tallest tower that stands alone in the barrenness of the world, To an elevated illumination in the highest clouds of the most brilliant heaven of Love! Ah, the sharpness of the memories jolts me still! But what of it? All my visions are turned to naught, And I have been struck down And returned to the far corners where I am unreached. Alone and unsought, Feasibly content, the tallest tower remains in its solitude, Unaware that the absence of life cannot render a knowledge of its true state. What a sad shape we are in, To expect the world, over a single pearl found On the tossed beach of the soul.

42

I’ve felt the damage and burn from the fallout. My love failed but theirs prevailed. My friends, I’m only flesh and bone, but I won’t let you die alone. So leave our hearts at the foot of the mountain. Let our burdens be locked in the stone. If you will help me roll it upward, I won’t let you die alone. I see a beauty springing upward from the earth and from out our hearts. For all the bad that seems to plague us, I swear to you there’s good. They say that death is not a problem, it’s a promise, I can only say for sure that when it makes your bed I’ll kiss your head “Goodnight.” So speak of all the love we lost, and what it cost us, Left us beg our breath to stop but we kept on and We were strong. We stayed bright as lightning, we sang loud as thunder, we moved ever forward. We are not our failures. We are love.

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Jul 5, 2012

Jul 5, 2012 at 2:30 AM UTC

The Castle Builders

I’ve felt the damage and burn from the fallout. My love failed but theirs prevailed. My friends, I’m only flesh and bone, but I won’t let you die alone. So leave our hearts at the foot of the mountain. Let our burdens be locked in the stone. If you will help me roll it upward, I won’t let you die alone. I see a beauty springing upward from the earth and from out our hearts. For all the bad that seems to plague us, I swear to you there’s good. They say that death is not a problem, it’s a promise, I can only say for sure that when it makes your bed I’ll kiss your head “Goodnight.” So speak of all the love we lost, and what it cost us, Left us beg our breath to stop but we kept on and We were strong. We stayed bright as lightning, we sang loud as thunder, we moved ever forward. We are not our failures. We are love.

16

Reach your hands out to sea I’ll take them willingly If you would so benignly please An unworthy host as me. I could believe in hope elsewhere To run a hand through other soft hair But I am far too unaware Of strength residing deep down there. You meant too much I felt too little When I was with you All along Called out of border To carry the fears away Of the peoples’ dreams Seaside homes, under a great Dark Cloud. Unbeknownst to me, I left With you behind, I hardly wept You tried to hold me close With eyes beseeching Won’t you love me? With me breathing, Can’t I love her? You tried, I failed You believed that love would dwell in my heart for you I had missed any intentions Of a future Bright Between the spaces of our fingers Holding on To the other. Dreams have soared through my nighttime mind Your hands may still stretch out And I could perhaps Dream of a day where it would kick enough sense around In this **** Brain That I should have loved you when I had the chance. But for now across this sea A life is lost My only companion is this gray dog He never leaves my side I should have never left yours.

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Jul 5, 2012

Jul 5, 2012 at 2:23 AM UTC

Thou Art Weary, I Am the Flame In Thy Skin

Reach your hands out to sea I’ll take them willingly If you would so benignly please An unworthy host as me. I could believe in hope elsewhere To run a hand through other soft hair But I am far too unaware Of strength residing deep down there. You meant too much I felt too little When I was with you All along Called out of border To carry the fears away Of the peoples’ dreams Seaside homes, under a great Dark Cloud. Unbeknownst to me, I left With you behind, I hardly wept You tried to hold me close With eyes beseeching Won’t you love me? With me breathing, Can’t I love her? You tried, I failed You believed that love would dwell in my heart for you I had missed any intentions Of a future Bright Between the spaces of our fingers Holding on To the other. Dreams have soared through my nighttime mind Your hands may still stretch out And I could perhaps Dream of a day where it would kick enough sense around In this **** Brain That I should have loved you when I had the chance. But for now across this sea A life is lost My only companion is this gray dog He never leaves my side I should have never left yours.

46

My breath contracts as the night begins. I slide between the stone streets, Divide through alleys like a wisp of Faint air drifting through this Atmosphere. Break forward. There is this voracious silence, Eats all but me and the moon's daunting smile I smile against the darkness, Seperate from the night. Cold air speaks to my throat, This task will be met By my transclucent grasp On reality... My heart is the anchor that drowns me in ankle deep water. The shore is so close.. I dare not wade farther into the depths i have already wandered into. Pull me back to shore. The turnabout begins now. I will float on And this night will remain my home Yet I will be the streetlights and the promise of dawn I should let you know I was not a fool I was not a muse I was not a truce Between the below and above I imagined myself a djinn A powerful being, Being, so many kinds of people. All their positivity, I drank each with fervour Every unique trait I had ever come across Became my own effortlessly. So cool, so cool, so cool... And as my mind drifts into a dream light, I wander... My soul is lost on a shore. Sunlight streams in and nothing can destroy it The leaves shake the trees and I am surrounded by bliss. Emotions were ripped out of me at a young age, Ones I did not know I could feel! And yet--This adrenaline-- It provides me with the grip on my calling. I will live to realize this soul rooted wish. You will be honoured. And so I wander into the night. Day in, day out. The moon grins with ****** intent, But I am the streetlights and the promise of dawn.

0

Oct 16, 2011

Oct 16, 2011 at 1:53 AM UTC

So Cool

My breath contracts as the night begins. I slide between the stone streets, Divide through alleys like a wisp of Faint air drifting through this Atmosphere. Break forward. There is this voracious silence, Eats all but me and the moon's daunting smile I smile against the darkness, Seperate from the night. Cold air speaks to my throat, This task will be met By my transclucent grasp On reality... My heart is the anchor that drowns me in ankle deep water. The shore is so close.. I dare not wade farther into the depths i have already wandered into. Pull me back to shore. The turnabout begins now. I will float on And this night will remain my home Yet I will be the streetlights and the promise of dawn I should let you know I was not a fool I was not a muse I was not a truce Between the below and above I imagined myself a djinn A powerful being, Being, so many kinds of people. All their positivity, I drank each with fervour Every unique trait I had ever come across Became my own effortlessly. So cool, so cool, so cool... And as my mind drifts into a dream light, I wander... My soul is lost on a shore. Sunlight streams in and nothing can destroy it The leaves shake the trees and I am surrounded by bliss. Emotions were ripped out of me at a young age, Ones I did not know I could feel! And yet--This adrenaline-- It provides me with the grip on my calling. I will live to realize this soul rooted wish. You will be honoured. And so I wander into the night. Day in, day out. The moon grins with ****** intent, But I am the streetlights and the promise of dawn.

48

Leaking through my veins, Seeping past my heart It freezes my soul, Can’t get past the cold air of the dark- ness that I breathe in, Scream to fight off But it won’t stay off I’m betrayed and I’m frayed to shards of an old ghost: Lost my glow Lost that elected touch. Oh I want the goodness, But the goodness don’t want me. Or could it be I’ve fought for too long, now it seems i’m not as strong due to desensibility, ******* the passion out of me I’m made to resonate kindness Emulate a bright bliss But I grab for transience, Trading that omniscient light for a couple cents In comparison, where’s that dream of intelligence busting from my heart and spirit’s senses, Now I spend my days hopping fences, breathing relentlessly heaving from thinking, endlessly drinking, my mind has been sinking and I am seemingly drowned out, Found out, I’m nothing without some fearlessness, I called out some where in the Out There My ears shut out the world, at last, my last inch of hope is straining to pick up a sound, gracefully deigning to reach me: I’m not a lost soul, adrift in some dark cold sea on an isolated glacier composed of only lonesomeness, and ice water.

0

Oct 11, 2010

Oct 11, 2010 at 1:51 PM UTC

Ice Water - revised

Leaking through my veins, Seeping past my heart It freezes my soul, Can’t get past the cold air of the dark- ness that I breathe in, Scream to fight off But it won’t stay off I’m betrayed and I’m frayed to shards of an old ghost: Lost my glow Lost that elected touch. Oh I want the goodness, But the goodness don’t want me. Or could it be I’ve fought for too long, now it seems i’m not as strong due to desensibility, ******* the passion out of me I’m made to resonate kindness Emulate a bright bliss But I grab for transience, Trading that omniscient light for a couple cents In comparison, where’s that dream of intelligence busting from my heart and spirit’s senses, Now I spend my days hopping fences, breathing relentlessly heaving from thinking, endlessly drinking, my mind has been sinking and I am seemingly drowned out, Found out, I’m nothing without some fearlessness, I called out some where in the Out There My ears shut out the world, at last, my last inch of hope is straining to pick up a sound, gracefully deigning to reach me: I’m not a lost soul, adrift in some dark cold sea on an isolated glacier composed of only lonesomeness, and ice water.

42

We endure to strive see better things Upon golden horizons Though awe strikingly gray clouds Obscure our precious sun's light. I watch an ocean fill the gaps of the earth Without a sound We move past and no one breaks their gaze from their own lives, And goals of material gain. I watch an ocean Integral Intended Full of depth too great for a man's mind... We need not know How vast a wonder No grasp to attain Just to observe Breathe amazed sighs, Gaze up towards full skies, Ask to see through His eyes... It is a wish of mine. Canyons of water, Buildings of waves Architecture of sound and of depths Too great for my mind. I fall away, fall apart, into the waves I drift, and I may drown, To hear you say A word. Daughter. Alive. With the gale of a storm in my soul I rise above and feel held together! You have stitched my open scars, Tied your hands as tourniquets to my outpouring blood, Realigned my broken bones, And whispered to my heart a message I could not hear or understand- At once, it beat. You are my source of equanimity. My eyes see new things, Because of You. And because of all my healing I now know how The world will come to see You And believe You. My home is always in Your presence, and I've risen from so many mountains of ashes, Each time, A touch Brighter.

0

Sep 10, 2010

Sep 10, 2010 at 9:14 PM UTC

Spark

We endure to strive see better things Upon golden horizons Though awe strikingly gray clouds Obscure our precious sun's light. I watch an ocean fill the gaps of the earth Without a sound We move past and no one breaks their gaze from their own lives, And goals of material gain. I watch an ocean Integral Intended Full of depth too great for a man's mind... We need not know How vast a wonder No grasp to attain Just to observe Breathe amazed sighs, Gaze up towards full skies, Ask to see through His eyes... It is a wish of mine. Canyons of water, Buildings of waves Architecture of sound and of depths Too great for my mind. I fall away, fall apart, into the waves I drift, and I may drown, To hear you say A word. Daughter. Alive. With the gale of a storm in my soul I rise above and feel held together! You have stitched my open scars, Tied your hands as tourniquets to my outpouring blood, Realigned my broken bones, And whispered to my heart a message I could not hear or understand- At once, it beat. You are my source of equanimity. My eyes see new things, Because of You. And because of all my healing I now know how The world will come to see You And believe You. My home is always in Your presence, and I've risen from so many mountains of ashes, Each time, A touch Brighter.

49

Soft whisps of sound Echoed through Your airy room, Illuminated by afternoon sun. My eyes could never brighten from their rays Dark as the trees bark in the shade, I could never impress The onlooker. Yet yours were unraveled by the light An emerald glow that always Pierced through to the very depths of me. I loved this room. It was so open, vast, The wood paneled flooring corrected The structure of my spine, A posture redefined. We never came here with heavy hearts-- that lasted. But today was a new day. After all.. There must always be ends to beginnings. Here is our living progress. I walked in expecting nothing more than a serene day To spend with you, We had hours to create new memories. To stand side by side, To feel sparks emanating from our hands Every dot of skin Exerting energy that can only be described as Love in movement. But today was different. I crossed the room upon my arrival To see you in a broken heap upon the wooden floor I remember your falling tears, Shuddering shoulders, Heaving ribcage... I did not know you were able to crumble before now. But this was a time where I could not utter such questions. I begged for knowledge of the news I only knew Would tear me down Yet I fought the fear away before I heard your breathing slow And the words you spoke Dripped thick and slow like toxins down a riverbank. And all I remember was seeing your hands shake as they held you up. Your arms, like pillars on the wood paneled floor. I felt a sense of a crashing tidal wave over my world. How could I live without a friend Ive known to be so dear? Was it all a dream? A fleeting shard of a nightmare fueled by stress and constricting warmth? There was no hint of life in me that desired the truth to be what it was... And that was Truth. A smothering, suffocating reality. He was gone. I stared with glazed eyes upwards towards through the ceiling to a deadpan sky with no answer, Other than the throbbing sensation I knew, Somehow the only solution to my pain A voice above the clouds Whispered itself to me... *Death is the road to awe. Acceptance leads to strength. I am nearest to you when your soul feels like tearing itself in two.* Look away from me. Those trembling hands. I backed away into a whirlwind of deafening silence and despair My heart broke into a thousand pieces, And to this day I'll never forget the noise it made.

0

Aug 29, 2010

Aug 29, 2010 at 8:56 PM UTC

Those Shaking Hands

Soft whisps of sound Echoed through Your airy room, Illuminated by afternoon sun. My eyes could never brighten from their rays Dark as the trees bark in the shade, I could never impress The onlooker. Yet yours were unraveled by the light An emerald glow that always Pierced through to the very depths of me. I loved this room. It was so open, vast, The wood paneled flooring corrected The structure of my spine, A posture redefined. We never came here with heavy hearts-- that lasted. But today was a new day. After all.. There must always be ends to beginnings. Here is our living progress. I walked in expecting nothing more than a serene day To spend with you, We had hours to create new memories. To stand side by side, To feel sparks emanating from our hands Every dot of skin Exerting energy that can only be described as Love in movement. But today was different. I crossed the room upon my arrival To see you in a broken heap upon the wooden floor I remember your falling tears, Shuddering shoulders, Heaving ribcage... I did not know you were able to crumble before now. But this was a time where I could not utter such questions. I begged for knowledge of the news I only knew Would tear me down Yet I fought the fear away before I heard your breathing slow And the words you spoke Dripped thick and slow like toxins down a riverbank. And all I remember was seeing your hands shake as they held you up. Your arms, like pillars on the wood paneled floor. I felt a sense of a crashing tidal wave over my world. How could I live without a friend Ive known to be so dear? Was it all a dream? A fleeting shard of a nightmare fueled by stress and constricting warmth? There was no hint of life in me that desired the truth to be what it was... And that was Truth. A smothering, suffocating reality. He was gone. I stared with glazed eyes upwards towards through the ceiling to a deadpan sky with no answer, Other than the throbbing sensation I knew, Somehow the only solution to my pain A voice above the clouds Whispered itself to me... *Death is the road to awe. Acceptance leads to strength. I am nearest to you when your soul feels like tearing itself in two.* Look away from me. Those trembling hands. I backed away into a whirlwind of deafening silence and despair My heart broke into a thousand pieces, And to this day I'll never forget the noise it made.

67

Every night around the same late hour when the world has darkened-- My heart beats somberly on as I wonder about, well… You are the air beneath my wings but you’ve drifted away-- I don’t blame you. I need lift off.

0

Aug 18, 2010

Aug 18, 2010 at 9:35 PM UTC

Sentimental Moods

Every night around the same late hour when the world has darkened-- My heart beats somberly on as I wonder about, well… You are the air beneath my wings but you’ve drifted away-- I don’t blame you. I need lift off.

10