What would you do if asked me why I was sad,
and I answered
"Because I am a woman."
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 29, 2013 at 9:24 PM UTC
Hundreds of "I love you"s later
I still feel
Just as alone
As day one.
The world twists beneath my feet
And to hell again,
Oh how I miss the sun.
The sky breaks and sun graces my skin
And to earth again,
Oh how the sun burns.
I have found,
Thats this world is no longer for me,
But I love the world too much
To let go.
Jul 4, 2013
Jul 4, 2013 at 2:40 AM UTC
I sewed myself a paradise today.
If only there was someone,
somewhere,
to take to it with me.
Jun 21, 2013
Jun 21, 2013 at 10:46 PM UTC
We clash like titans,
smashing vases and cracking drywall,
my fingers rake down your back and I scream
at the top of my lungs
with every molecule of my soul
but no one, not even you hears it.
We fade to static,
twin lies drifting in the ocean,
you are an angel fish and I'm an ocean star,
we were never meant to touch
but formed our perfect harmony.
I know,
all the things about you,
that you could never dare to think,
and you only touch the surface of me,
buried in your own lies,
and thinking this is love.
We sit and burn,
calmly
not speaking a single word;
and our candle is gone.
We are the calming smoke after your last cigarette for the night.
Darling, we have died.
Jun 21, 2013
Jun 21, 2013 at 10:38 PM UTC
I am in a constant state of discomfort.
I can't sleep,
Or be awake.
I can't go to school.
I can't be home.
I'm in pain.
And when I'm not,
It just makes the pain worse when it comes back.
I can't breathe.
I can't meet my friend's eyes.
I can't be alone,
But I can't see why friends.
I can't meet my parent's eyes.
I can't talk to anyone,
But I need to talk.
I can't work.
I can't rest.
I can't get dressed,
I can't cry.
I might be dying.
Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013 at 6:20 PM UTC
My chest aches,
and winter bites at my teeth,
sun stinging my eyes.
I lay in the dark again,
12 am.
Deadly still,
I have drained of my color,
emotion,
empty.
It's uncomfortable,
sitting wrong in the back of my throat.
Yet,
I'm so full,
free, easily floating.
But my breath burns,
eyes itch,
toes twitch.
I'm so thirsty,
but I have nothing in me to get it.
I need to breathe,
but I can't;
with or without you.
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 9:35 PM UTC
I am addicted.
The atoms of the universe drift apart and violins cease to sound,
the everything we believe we know floating away.
My breath catches in my throat,
choking me as if it was your own hands,
it doesn't burn.
All my color, my shapes,
drifting to nothing and dissipating into my skin.
Starvation gnaws at me,
But I can't eat,
can't sit,
or sleep,
see,
think,
Dying?
But I'm only starting,
preparing to exist as ink stains my hands.
I love you?
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM UTC
Whispers ring in my ears,
There is the faintest ghosting of claws along my back,
I shudder, gasping for a hope of self respect.
I watch them,
Perfect little pair.
Holding hands and sending covert smiles,
No lip touches and nuzzling,
Just being close.
They're absolutely flawless in how awful they are.
You know...
She drove four hours from maryland alone,
To see her...
And you won't even drive an hour to come see me...
Or return my messages...
Or tell me how you've honestly ever felt.
And yet?
You still tell our friends about how in love with me you are...
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013 at 2:51 AM UTC
I listen
To your blood
Drip down the drain
Defussing into
Salty sorrow.
One more night like this,
Two more,
Three,
And I just pray
Someday that you'll be okay.
Mar 20, 2013
Mar 20, 2013 at 10:03 PM UTC
Years are revisited
As I bury myself in snow
And listen to the cries of the ******
I watch the places
Where your funeral pyre lied,
And whimper, wishing I was superman.
There used to be a fear in me,
A fear to let people in, or love anyone,
Because as soon as I dared don a title, everyone ripped from my fingers.
But I'm older now,
I've truely fallen in love,
And been set ardently aflame,
Writhing in the agony that made me.
I have scorched away my mind's youth,
Trading it for browned flowers and hushed internet history,
I am so fervently alive it hurts.
But?
Winter came and
Stole everyone and everything,
Freezing your goregous minds and open hearts.
I watch you all fall like flies,
Just leaping for a chance to die.
I hold you hands close to my chest,
Wishing you all knew that you've made an athiest pray,
And how dearly my world, and the world, needs you.
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013 at 9:49 PM UTC