skyler-reisinger - Hello Poetry

I've hidden my keys under a mattress I use them to unlock the hidden Corners of my mind To enter the houses I've built Uncover the dusty blankets I put my thoughts under so many years ago Toys Dump trucks, action figures Stained clothes Falling down the stairs Crying Thoughts of soaring with birds I searched through the toys And find a small child hiding inside I don't recognize him But I recall his youth Happiness Running in the yard with his brothers friends Catch with father during his brothers soccer games Playing in the backyard with friends The floor creaks underneath us The light streaming through the small room I unlocked dims Darkens The floor creaks until it cracks It cracks until it breaks Falling through the floor Into a locked room below This is not my room I don't have a key to this one The child calls to me from above Hanging on from the hole in the ceiling He tells me he won't see me again But that I have his best wishes This room is as dark As the room when the floor cracked I stretch my hands out And crawl through the room In the corner I find a desk A child sits in it I ask who they are And they respond: I'm not allowed to talk Just like my brother described his first grade class He has no work done on his paper In his locked room It's only darkness With a child in the corner Afraid to speak I see a broken saxophone And marijuana hidden under his bed A confused child Who is punished for existing I sit crying in his dark room Lost in his world And he gets out of his chair And comes to me Kneeling down, he looks me in the eye and asks me Do you remember how one day 6 years ago, mom started crying for no reason? And then the next week I started going to therapy? He's 22 years old and his brain is still broken I'm 16 years old and I understand why He opens his door and sends me into my room To reach under the mattress And grab another key The key goes into the red lock Inside was a 10 year old laying on a bed ************ for the first time And I'd love to tell you all that this story has a ****** But it literally doesn't Instead there was pain Confusion Crying Rushing to the bathroom And vomiting from the pain He comes back and looks at me standing in the doorway He asked me what happened So I told him He loved himself a bit too hard Constricted his own urethra with a firm grip And his orchestra teacher in his thoughts I told him what was coming Which was a week of crying in front of a toilet Trying to **** with hardly anything coming out Finally telling your parents that you hurt But you "don't know why" And so the doctor figures it out And fixes it With embarrassment in your heart And confusion about your orchestra teacher in your mind You head into the hallway Inside every door there's a new experience The first time I tried *** Passing a Gatorade bottle around a circle Drunk and grabbing a guy ******* a girl the next day Soberly grabbing another guy And hating him for the rest of the week And then I walk into the final room It's bright Just a fluorescent light in the ceiling Mirrors on every wall and on the floor The wall in front of me shows My hopes and dreams A teenage boy hanging with a fallen chair in front of him And when I turn around the door I walked through Was no longer there But there's another mirror Showing a man Typing away at a computer Smiling because he finished a news story about happiness And no one understood it On the wall to his left Was a clean shaven man Lifting his child in the air Kissing his wife on the cheek And in the last reflection I saw myself I lifted my hand And so did the reflection A single tear streaked both of our faces And it splashed the ground The mirrors rippled And only one of them changed People rushed to save me Lifting me up from my legs Throwing the chair to the side Loosening the rope around my neck Set to the ground And they all walk away The boy gets up and stares back at me And we cried

0

Sep 4, 2015

Sep 4, 2015 at 12:36 AM UTC

Hidden Houses and Hidden R O O M S

I've hidden my keys under a mattress I use them to unlock the hidden Corners of my mind To enter the houses I've built Uncover the dusty blankets I put my thoughts under so many years ago Toys Dump trucks, action figures Stained clothes Falling down the stairs Crying Thoughts of soaring with birds I searched through the toys And find a small child hiding inside I don't recognize him But I recall his youth Happiness Running in the yard with his brothers friends Catch with father during his brothers soccer games Playing in the backyard with friends The floor creaks underneath us The light streaming through the small room I unlocked dims Darkens The floor creaks until it cracks It cracks until it breaks Falling through the floor Into a locked room below This is not my room I don't have a key to this one The child calls to me from above Hanging on from the hole in the ceiling He tells me he won't see me again But that I have his best wishes This room is as dark As the room when the floor cracked I stretch my hands out And crawl through the room In the corner I find a desk A child sits in it I ask who they are And they respond: I'm not allowed to talk Just like my brother described his first grade class He has no work done on his paper In his locked room It's only darkness With a child in the corner Afraid to speak I see a broken saxophone And marijuana hidden under his bed A confused child Who is punished for existing I sit crying in his dark room Lost in his world And he gets out of his chair And comes to me Kneeling down, he looks me in the eye and asks me Do you remember how one day 6 years ago, mom started crying for no reason? And then the next week I started going to therapy? He's 22 years old and his brain is still broken I'm 16 years old and I understand why He opens his door and sends me into my room To reach under the mattress And grab another key The key goes into the red lock Inside was a 10 year old laying on a bed ************ for the first time And I'd love to tell you all that this story has a ****** But it literally doesn't Instead there was pain Confusion Crying Rushing to the bathroom And vomiting from the pain He comes back and looks at me standing in the doorway He asked me what happened So I told him He loved himself a bit too hard Constricted his own urethra with a firm grip And his orchestra teacher in his thoughts I told him what was coming Which was a week of crying in front of a toilet Trying to **** with hardly anything coming out Finally telling your parents that you hurt But you "don't know why" And so the doctor figures it out And fixes it With embarrassment in your heart And confusion about your orchestra teacher in your mind You head into the hallway Inside every door there's a new experience The first time I tried *** Passing a Gatorade bottle around a circle Drunk and grabbing a guy ******* a girl the next day Soberly grabbing another guy And hating him for the rest of the week And then I walk into the final room It's bright Just a fluorescent light in the ceiling Mirrors on every wall and on the floor The wall in front of me shows My hopes and dreams A teenage boy hanging with a fallen chair in front of him And when I turn around the door I walked through Was no longer there But there's another mirror Showing a man Typing away at a computer Smiling because he finished a news story about happiness And no one understood it On the wall to his left Was a clean shaven man Lifting his child in the air Kissing his wife on the cheek And in the last reflection I saw myself I lifted my hand And so did the reflection A single tear streaked both of our faces And it splashed the ground The mirrors rippled And only one of them changed People rushed to save me Lifting me up from my legs Throwing the chair to the side Loosening the rope around my neck Set to the ground And they all walk away The boy gets up and stares back at me And we cried

130

I think my brain is broken There's always nuts and bolts left on my pillow Every morning when I wake up They never fit back quite right Thoughts of never being put together Haunt me when I'm alone Hovering over me Telling me that I'm just going to keep falling apart And eventually there will be nothing that holds my head into my shoulders It will topple off Shatter in the ground like glass I will realize that I'm only human And like most broken humans I am glass And I crack easy I don't think I'll ever like existing There's more of all of you than there are of me So why is it so significant if I begin to cease I know I have family that think this way Those two understand what I've been trying to say All three of us should have been aborted We're not just glass We are mosaics Shattered and reconfigured

0

Sep 2, 2015

Sep 2, 2015 at 9:48 PM UTC

Untitled

I think my brain is broken There's always nuts and bolts left on my pillow Every morning when I wake up They never fit back quite right Thoughts of never being put together Haunt me when I'm alone Hovering over me Telling me that I'm just going to keep falling apart And eventually there will be nothing that holds my head into my shoulders It will topple off Shatter in the ground like glass I will realize that I'm only human And like most broken humans I am glass And I crack easy I don't think I'll ever like existing There's more of all of you than there are of me So why is it so significant if I begin to cease I know I have family that think this way Those two understand what I've been trying to say All three of us should have been aborted We're not just glass We are mosaics Shattered and reconfigured

24

Succumb to my hilarity Sad sights and lack of solidarity Wondering how and never reaching clarity Seeing people live to thirty in my mind is a rarity That's fine I like being rare I want to live to thirty just to see if I'll care Have a few kids and teach them how to share Watching them on the playground And see their jeans tear They'll grow up and ding-ding-ditch on a dare Succumb to my art Pouring out my heart Cutting my wrists to paint on war Setting a bad example by robbing a store Get a little money and use it to feed the poor Get looked down upon and your heart is tore I hate myself and I break the mirror Driving home at 80 and hitting a deer Eyes closed, hands up, refusing to steer Weaving on the road without any beer I love you all There's a note in my pocket I love you all Arms pulled out of socket I love you all Staring at the locket I love you all Thinking about a rocket Clock me out I'm tired of working I hate the glare off your watch Can't see, pupils are tight Keep breathing, don't cry Edge off the bridge I'm fine Legs dangling over water Blindfold on Wind from the city Tired of sitting Leaping off to sunset Love in my heart Heart in the water Water in my lungs

0

Sep 2, 2015

Sep 2, 2015 at 9:46 PM UTC

B L I N D F O L D

Succumb to my hilarity Sad sights and lack of solidarity Wondering how and never reaching clarity Seeing people live to thirty in my mind is a rarity That's fine I like being rare I want to live to thirty just to see if I'll care Have a few kids and teach them how to share Watching them on the playground And see their jeans tear They'll grow up and ding-ding-ditch on a dare Succumb to my art Pouring out my heart Cutting my wrists to paint on war Setting a bad example by robbing a store Get a little money and use it to feed the poor Get looked down upon and your heart is tore I hate myself and I break the mirror Driving home at 80 and hitting a deer Eyes closed, hands up, refusing to steer Weaving on the road without any beer I love you all There's a note in my pocket I love you all Arms pulled out of socket I love you all Staring at the locket I love you all Thinking about a rocket Clock me out I'm tired of working I hate the glare off your watch Can't see, pupils are tight Keep breathing, don't cry Edge off the bridge I'm fine Legs dangling over water Blindfold on Wind from the city Tired of sitting Leaping off to sunset Love in my heart Heart in the water Water in my lungs

43