A life with no light
I cannebalize my own anger. I rip it out, melt it, caramelize it, douse it in sugar, and I consume it. The rage, its like hot, hard candy sitting in my pocket. My hand dips in, 45 degrees exactly. My fingers tired of being sweaty, suffocated, clenched in a peach prison, stretch out like a lazy, kitty cat. They engloate; purring, finally free, batting against the cold air (it's okay it feels good). My left cuticles become soggy and moist from the winds sudden embrace. They curl back like the devils horns, preying upon me, their biggest fool. I finally reach in my lonely pocket, slide the piece of warm, gooey candy into my hungry mouth. My teeth screech with delight. The tangy sweetness dances with my chipped caps, stinging my nerves with a sugary blunder. It isn't rose colored glasses it's as crystal clear as the cotton candy sky.
Mouth agape thoughts suddenly shuttering, blowing in the wind stunned by their own stinger
I think no, i don't think, I dwell
It's as deep as a well with no pennies
No one made a wish there's only assumptions as empty as the hands that threw them
As hateful as the minds that created them
I'm a product of you
Won't you let me die?
Peacefully
I pray
Or never at all
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014 at 1:26 AM UTC
It's not another blue moon
The wolves are restless
Their savagery grows like
The wicked fire outside my cave
It's almost there and I can
Feel it burning up my toes
My chest still, motionless, remains a frigid icebox
I forgot what purpose heat serves
It's been too cold
Too unforgiving
It's been too many black skies
Frostbite all over my skin
Closer to deaths conniving hand
Enough to graze
Enough to spark fear, touch, blood builds up, squeezing my veins, green vines, curling in and out of their white soil, pulsating, glorious serendipity, the tangibility of
Rest in peace
In pieces
Bony white sharp shards of
Nails
That don't even sever my flesh
No drops of red
Not even to cut the thick air
the clock keeps it's mouth shut
I have no answers
Monotony
In between living and dying
Limbo, flatline, where am I
Louder
Where am I
I hear the wolves howl once more, closer now
The stars shatter
a streak of silver lining
Cosmic brutality
I'm the punch line
Forever hungry
I finally feel their hot breath on the nape of my neck
I close my eyes
Where's my escape?
Stuck
Just
White teeth
Blades
Carnivorous
Famished
Just for one taste of my soft flesh
And god, god I whisper through
the stubborn air
Isn't that all that matters?
The murky cloud of my cry
Turns ghost
Another victim of my past pleas
A furry nuzzle to contrast the ruthless slay that leads me to my final destination
Pink fields, beautiful fidelity, your Golden Gates, on a cloud too far away
Always a little out of reach
I'll wait an eternity
For a god who never picks up his trash
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013 at 7:51 PM UTC
Weaving throughout the tunnel walls
The red split tongue of the
Devil's red, licorice lips
Slithering through a split wall
crack
Unsettling
Ulcers grow in my moldy gutter
The rats take cover underneath my molten feathers
The **** flocks where it's welcomed
An open carcass
A yellow tooth
A looming black moon
I'm barren like the carcass of a wolf
Torn to pieces
****** and limp
A slumped over
Mass of shapes
Goodnight,
Ladies and gentlemen
I could've loved you
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013 at 8:26 PM UTC
Off course,
Of course
The sea's salty
spray
stings my eyes
Trembling pointer finger
I wipe away what I can only imagine
is a drop
packed full of
fish ****
Often,
the fan shakes
Or is it me who isn't still?
Often,
I'll grab for warm skin
I'll dig
desperately
through layers of
Filth and disappointment
Often,
I'll grab for you
More filth and disappointment
Outside,
the sound waves find their way into my lonely quarters
Filling the endless cracks of whistling wind
Filling the endless cracks of my cold respite
The glow of your face
Eyes
piercing through the darkness
with valor unseen
by heroes
brave
and timeless
I've never worshipped hands
so leathery
Wounded by
stale
talk
that sank into your heart
like an anchor carelessly dropped
into the sea's cruel
blue
swell
I would say sorry
a thousand times over
if it stripped your heart
of the ghosts that hide and cackle
amongst your vast,
haunted corridors
I'm still---
the shallow shards of your breath
poke at my bullet proof hip
My brain drips manically with the endless horror
of your
ghastly, **** luck
It creeps into my porous skin
embedding itself into my DNA
God,
I've never felt so helpless
I've felt your fingers
like the apple out of my reach
I'll catch you
before you hit the ground
like all the heroes before you
With a marble floor slate
that was empty
and pure
With the white sheen of better handshakes
and conversations
with more peaks
than valleys
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 4:23 PM UTC
I'm an enigma
A spirit
from some long lost land
read about in books
Intangible
Nothing to touch
Your hand
your
scars
They rattle my soul like
you took away my medication
My self loathing
peers outside the window
Jeering
Knowing what I can be
but will never embrace
I'm sorry
My
sadness
goes deeper than my
love for love
The breath I gave up
for a life of suffocation
is my own bubble of Death
and
Desperation
Don't jump---
I wouldn't want you to drown with me
I'll grab you
and take you
With the passion that runs through my veins
I hope you recognize my efforts
and grab me back
even when I pull away
I just want to know what forever feels like
They say let it **** you
Another enemy
or the reason I go forth
I hope to finally understand
why people lose their minds
And skin
to serpents wrapped around their necks
Blue
Purple
Haze
washing over me
I'll let go---
yes, I'll let go
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 4:16 PM UTC
The gazebos roof looked daunting
Hypnotic fear
The kind that
makes my *****
hot
sweaty
screaming for more of what you've got
Pulsating fear
sits in the core of my temples
I saw the source in the forest through it's
dark inconsistencies
A void
Branches,
loom
You're hand
You're light
I'll tell you,
Smug eyes
Dark circles
The notches in your wrist
It meant nothing
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 4:11 PM UTC
Your timing's uncanny
I stepped,
Lightly
Like the feathery flow the clouds give off every morning I wake
Wherever you went
I've lost you,
Indefinitely
There was a cave deep down somewhere along the road you traveled
Alone
A cave dripping with wet icicles
that drip with the boarder line,
Insane, temptation
to hit you dead,
In the center of your doe, eye
****
God ******
We only see each other through the trees film
Between green goddess leaves
and the white on your teeth
You're Jesus, the devil, and my breathing lungs
Pull the trigger and let me bleed out,
Quickly
baby,
With haste
I found the trail of your fingernails
Torn and worn
Chewed up like a cowboys tobacco
Spit in between your crooked toes
splattered on top of a yellow
mountain of decayed flesh,
Spit everywhere except inside the *** you haphazardly aim for
Story of your life, kid
Story of mine
Your skin flakes glimmer, in between
your mess of your
depressions merciless obliteration
You laughed,
With the insane vigor
the wolf displays when
he howls his affections to the moons
unrequited love
Love,
Blood dripping from the corner of my lip
My teeth found their scratching post
Ill crawl, crawl, crawl
under your covers
Ill search for your forearms
meaty assurance
Ill grab on tight
and tear at you until you're sure you can feel once more
Ill swim through your sheets sea of rage
so we can sit and laugh together
Laugh at,
the white walls, life, the old ladies yelling at the cockeyed birds, your feelings, mine, our love, or absence of it, my death and your death too
Together or apart
We will laugh
and find our refuge with the crazy wolves howling with passion
that cuts like a knife
through our chains that keep us stuck,
Indefinitely.
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 11:34 AM UTC
Something soft
I want the uncomfortable fetter
Of the carpets unruly mane
To grace my worn feet
I sleep
Your eyes open when mine close
And in my busy mind
You are the blue light that
Drives the eyelashes on my cheek
To courtesy into a smile
My lips follow suit
When my hand digs into my knees
Fleshy mountain caps
All I crave is the foreign touch
Of your fingers to
Run miles up and down my
Milky thighs
We can let the familiar feeling
Of our warmth erase the black marks of whips that woke us up from our dreams
That meant the universe to eyes so bleary and small
Fingertip felt tips festering fully, fittingly on your peachy pointer finger
Just one
The smell of lust will surround our hungry nostrils and
Dig in baby
Dig deep
We wake up to a ceiling fan bland
Wafting the leftover smell of cigarette smoke around our dusty morning
We tucked the sun away as tight as we could
But our lazy laughs and wayward smiles
Gave way to our apathy
Door closes
The airwave is fizzy
And the palm tree softly pets my luminous face
Your car starts
The screech of your tires
Nails on my melting chalkboard
Ill yell into my empty room
And pray to god ill never see you again
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 4:02 PM UTC
I had every intention of changing
The raven amongst white doves
Weak, crumbling pieces, out of sync with the suns honey glaze
ruthless falling daggers
only in the meat of the night
I'm drenched with sweat
My sheets shallow waves
Rivets of white
Outlining my ghastly figure
Ideleness digs its finger nails into my popcorn ceiling
I searched within the orange hue for your hand to pull me through
One last taste of the honey
It was in my sweaty palms
a wilting flower
Petals bruised and obtuse
Bent and irrperable
Folding corners the napkin
Turned into some origami masterpiece
When the conversation was a, b, and how sad I felt when you were a hologram amongst my curtains
Dusty desires I put on my book shelf
Notes piled on top of each other like a dumpster of sweet nothing's
nothing
A lot of that
We met eyes drawn to each other
Magnetic force
The feel of your warm fingertips
Making webs throughout the vacancies of my soul
Vacancies
A lot of those
Your knuckles turned peachy white
The vigor of your words
Masked your content
All I saw was you
Your legs daddy long legs in the corner
I don't know whether I should **** you or let you invade me, entirely.
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 11:35 AM UTC
It's just a drink
Batting eyelashes
Stuck in the headlights of your bullheaded vehicle
I should expect road **** but my legs stand trembling
The rev of your engine
Your cigarette smoke threatening me with its twisted claws
Your words are as empty as the fog
That creates our love
That should've been aborted when you first held me in your arms
It's too short for all of this
I watched you lag your dusty luggage across desolate lands
Zion seemed as close as your face the night we decided to look at each other for the very first time
Zion my river
My albatross
Yes I walked atop your river
And found your empty bottles floating around my ankles instead
Ill trade you my legs if
Helps you stand
As proud as the podium I know
Exists for you
And my god
I love you
Please believe me again
If the sky looks too scary
I know honey brown eyes
Glazed hams that remind me of dinners
And talk that was as fake as the branches on our immortal Christmas tree limbs
The three sharp spokes in my fork seem better fitting for veins and empty palms
Then this plate floating on a table of balled up fists and brittle finger nails
Find your rooftop and yell my name
Ill extend my fingers like vines
Crawl down me
Lay me on the floor
Our shallow breathing will find its way through our lungs again
Don't apologize my darling
My purpose
Zion is this sidewalk we're sprawled across the day I thought you found salvation in the sidewalks menacing cracks
This blood never did me any good until I felt your chest beat life into me
I tell you
I said
******
I tell you
I cried
We don't have to speak any more
We'll rock to the sway of the mellow breeze and find our balance when our eyes find one another's
I tell you
I cried
My body never had a better purpose
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 11:33 AM UTC