I'm sorry I couldn't make you even the slightest bit happy
When you made me the happiest person in the world
I'm sorry I wasn't wife material
When I couldn't wait to marry you
I'm sorry you didn't care about anything
When I was so in love with you
And
I'm sorry I could never be important to you
When you were the only thing that ever mattered to me
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 29, 2017 at 12:36 AM UTC
I am as blue and sad
As an ocean without life
Swimming in its depths
I am as silent
As a mime on the job
I am as empty
As an old abandoned house
A house that once
Held a family
Now empty
My heart
Now a cold barren place
Was once beating fast
At every touch of his
My skin doesn’t feel the same
My mind doesn’t work the same
My heart doesn’t beat the same
I am not the same
Without him
You’re only 100 miles away
But to me
You couldn’t be farther
s.j.d
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 11:34 PM UTC
As my head was flooded
With the previous nights memories
I groaned
At the bad decisions
At the hangover
At the stranger next to me
"I'll never drink again"
Passed through my lips
Like a broken record
The day grows old
And the same feeling creeps over me
Loneliness
Memories
Night arrives
The next morning
My head is flooded
With bad decisions
Once again
"I'll never drink again"
The record plays on
s.j.d
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014 at 1:59 PM UTC
My poems were about you
Each and every one
Connected to you
In some way
The day I fell out of love
Was the day
The very day
I stopped being a poet
You were my muse
Now I'm left with no inspiration
No tears
No feelings
Nothing
We were a toxic couple
We both knew that
From the beginning
I was destroyed
In every way possible
And your heart
Was crushed
For that
I apologize
I'm sorry
Happy anniversary
s.j.d
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 9:37 PM UTC
Wish this was beer in my hand
Instead of mtn dew
So I could semi attempt
To forget about you
s.j.d
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 12:43 AM UTC
I don't smoke he says
As the lit cigarette dangles from between his lips
I'll never lie to you he promises
With finger crossed behind his back
I love you drifts from his mouth
Before he goes home to his girlfriend
A walking contradictory
A breathing heartbreaker
The only one
Who truly understand who I am
And he is a walking contradictory
s.j.d
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 2:26 AM UTC
Themselves
That's all anyone ever cares about
No I'm not mad..I think I've accepted
That it is human nature
So excuse me
While I go comfort my friends
As I myself fall apart
I don't know how much longer
I can care
I don't even care about myself
And all they care about is
Themselves.
s.j.d
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 2:22 AM UTC
She's one of those girls
He said
One who wears a lot of beads
Beads that stretch to her elbow
And with one look
The look of guilt
Shame
Knowing
He knew
He knew the look on my face
He knew I was like the girl with beads
Panic washed over his ghostly face
Hurt clouded his eyes
Pulling up my sweater sleeve
He saw nothing
A sigh of relief escaped his lips
But he did not realize
..He lifted the wrong sweater sleeve
s.j.d
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 2:20 AM UTC
I have a problem
I crave it
That empty feeling
In my stomach
In my soul
During this manic episode
It occurs to me
That the darkness
Is my home
My home I can't leave
I want to be happy
But my demons have taken over
They make me crave darkness
They make me starve
Physically
Emotionally
s.j.d
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 2:17 AM UTC
My life.
I'm not sure what it should consist of
But I know for sure this is not it
Spiraling into a black abyss
I've realized this is not the future
I had imagined
I can't feel
Empty
My life had ended 4 years ago
And no one seemed to notice
I didn't notice either
I am simply existing
Not living
Existing
s.j.d
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 2:15 AM UTC