i cannot believe
it has taken me so long
to realize that you
were never coming back
and that when you said
that it was over
you meant it
i cannot believe
it has taken me so long
to realize that you
are never going to see these tears
nor read those poems
and that i
was only wasting my time
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 9:36 PM UTC
don't tell me i'm strong
because i certainly am not
if i were,
i wouldn't ache the need to hurt myself
or ache the need to jump off the third floor at school
you wouldn't hear me crying in the bathroom stall
or you wouldn't hear me complaining this much
i would be buying my cafeteria lunch
i would be eating my three meals a day
you wouldn't had to stop my feet from stumping
you wouldn't had to stop my eyes from closing
don't tell me i'm strong
because i certainly am not
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 8:50 PM UTC
he was the first to see me cry
sitting down on the school halls
he picked me up and held me tight
everything okay?
do you want to talk?
and after a long conversation
when he said all i needed to hear
but i couldn't express all i wanted to say
he hugged me and whispered
*darling, you don't need a therapist.
you need a friend*
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014 at 8:41 PM UTC
BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I TRIED MY HARDEST AND YOU STILL DIDNT FEEL A ******* THING ITS NOT MY FAULT OR MAYBE IT IS I REALLY DONT KNOW AND IM SORRY IM NOT ENOUGH BUT AT LEAST GIVE ME CREDIT BECAUSE OH MY GOD AM I TRYING MY BEST ON PLEASING YOU
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 8:41 PM UTC
so i fake another smile
and blink away the tears
i'm supposed to be strong
i'm supposed to have no fears
but the tears just keep rolling
it's so hard not to drown
i'm such a strong person
why am i breaking down?
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 12:56 PM UTC
they told her she was ugly
so she believed it
(even though she was the most beautiful girl i had ever laid
my eyes upon)
they told her she was loud
so she stopped speaking
(even though her wise words commanded my attention)
they told her she was dumb
so she stopped thinking
(even though she had the most brilliant and curious mind i
have ever encountered)
they told her she had no talent
so she stopped having fun
(even though she could light up an entire room with her
energy)
they told her she was lazy
so she stopped sleeping
(even though her life was a nightmare)
they told her she was too sad
so she faked another smile
(even though she was far from being happy)
they told her she wasn't enough
so she became nothing
(even though she was everything to me)
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 12:52 PM UTC
they announced it on a monday,
in our school's old sweaty hall,
that a girl that i had math with,
wasn't coming back at all.
you could hear the silent questions
*she was perfect, wasn't she?
what demons was she fighting,
that we were all too blind to see?*
i sat on math that monday,
beside her now abandoned desk,
while our teacher warned us not to fail
our fast approaching test.
i remember she once whispered
that she was envious of me,
my parents knew the work it took
just to get a simple B.
i wish i'd noticed earlier,
or had the decency to ask,
because her world must have been crumbling
behind her "perfect student" mask.
and i wonder if on that sunday
it was the last thought in her brain
that the only A+ she could give
was the blood type in her veins
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014 at 12:44 PM UTC
eventually
it gets to be too much
and the tears spill over
so you run
and try to get away
from things you can't escape
those tricky voices inside your head
the memories of what others have said
but you can't hide from what's inside
so you trip
and you fall
and you just want to end it all
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:20 PM UTC
it gets better
they all say
but it has been
365 days
and everything is still the same
i am still engulfed in my sadness
and i am still
oh so
completely
alone
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:13 PM UTC
hunger is a blade that carves me
i open my arms and pull the air in
-big hug!-
then **** right through me, nobody there.
it's only me holding myself.
my arms wrap two times
around my ribs,
meet behind my back for a secret
handshake.
i am not what was expected.
i'm so sharp-
it's cut me now i'll cut you.
come closer
closer
no, come closer
i'm gonna make you see what i see
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:07 PM UTC