Give me something, God.
Just give me something please.
Well, you always seem to give me something.
Always something.
But then you always let me down
Because something is never enough.
So should I ask for everything?
Is that the message?
At one point,
I tried asking for everything
And was also denied.
I’m not going to ask for nothing
Because that’s the one thing
I’ve always had.
But there seem to be
No other options.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 7:31 PM UTC
I often feel like
All of my hopes & dreams are frivolous
Because I can’t seem to establish basic agency
Or stability in my life
So what hope is there
Of my life ever having any kind of meaning
Or sense of fulfillment in the future?
My dreams mean nothing
Because my life means nothing.
Because ultimately,
I’m not actually meant to be a human.
How do I get rid of my dreams?
I’ll never be able to even try to fulfill them,
Much less fulfill them.
It’s too painful to keep dreaming
But I don’t know how to stop.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 7:28 PM UTC
I hope that when I die,
Whenever that may be,
My soul is reincarnated
Into someone that can actually make use of it
Because obviously this life was not meant for me
To make use of my soul.
Because I feel like I have
A truly beautiful and unique soul,
But it is wasted on the life that I currently have,
And probably always will be.
To me, it is almost certain
Based on the life I’ve already had thus far
That the potential of my soul
Will never be realized in its current incarnation
(i.e., my life).
So perhaps then I can make the purpose of my life
To be able to cultivate my soul as much as I can.
Not so that the next incarnation—
The next keeper of my soul
Can avoid experiencing all the pain,
All the devastation, all the heartbreak,
But so that the next keeper of my soul
Won’t have to be confused about how to conquer those challenges.
They will find themselves already equipped
(To their surprise)
To handle the challenges that await them
Because of me.
It’s clear to me
(For now, because I can only operate in the now)
That my life was not meant for me to be thinking
About my dreams, my future, or my potential.
My life was meant only for me
To try to survive until I die one day.
My biggest dream at this point
Is for the next incarnation (hopefully)
To use my soul (our soul?)
And take it to its full potential.
I also hope they get to use our soul
And its unique energy
To find the deepest, most authentic love and connections.
May our soul help the next incarnation of myself
Build the strongest support system possible.
Another dream of mine would be,
If the afterlife exists,
Being able to follow the trajectory of my next incarnation
So I can enjoy the success, fulfillment
And human connection I was never allowed in my life.
May they be born to a loving and supportive family
That gives them the space to be
Who they know they were always meant to be.
With that being the purpose I’ve realized for myself now,
I can hopefully endure all of my future challenges
In hopes that it will all benefit my next incarnation.
I am almost jealous of my next incarnation
Because of the beautiful life they are probably going to have.
However, looking at the silver lining
(Which I always do, even against my will sometimes),
My life will at least have served the purpose
Of benefiting someone else’s.
May 13
May 13, 2026 at 7:16 PM UTC