i want to slot your nose bridge against mine
giggle when our foreheads bump
catch your lip between my teeth
exchange breaths and find that
yours tastes like my soap
stop eating my ****** soap
May 4, 2020
May 4, 2020 at 1:31 AM UTC
the rain makes the asphalt look sad and pregnant.
i turn my head for one moment and a lonely 7 train skitters by, barely grazing my left ear. i close my eyes. i close my eyes because if you look, you get sad and that's how you lose. so i look down at my feet at the soft, shimmering asphalt instead
and i watch the train through the asphalt. it torpedoes by, one silver frame at a time, like a silent film still bobbing around in its chemical bath. i continue to watch, from a safe distance.
(its like looking out the window at the cars zooming by. its all fun and safe until you reach your hand out a bit too far and the next thing you know, some ******* car up and runs away with it.
its like marriage.)
except im in college and the wheels of the train never quite touch the ground, but hover, hover over like some kind of homeless intoxicated guardian angel stranded in a sprawling urban desert.
(he lies on top a one of those BigBellys, lies on his stomach, sandaled feet dangling just inches from the ground. blink blink, goes the BigBelly. Gabriel groans,
incomprehensible muttering)
and the train throws bleachy yellow squares of light throw themselves onto upon the pregnant asphalt in fits of just destructive laughter and when they hit the ground by that time they're already hugging themselves, hugging and shaking all over like fuuuuuuck, it's sooo cold in here (in my body!) each one of em murmuring in a foreign tongue about how someone keepzon etching street names into the bathroom walls
Thayer and Broadway at 3AM on a Wednesday morning is someone's oasis, mine for as long as i stand here, my mind stumbling back n forth from one airpod to the other as i feel like im sinking down, down into the soft squishy asphalt wit the weight of my backpack making my shoulders touch the floor wit my bleachy yellow head dangling from my neck as i blink needily / cravingly / searchingly at a sidewalk that stares back at me with the most deadest honest (to godest) blankest expression i ever seen on a no-body
and when i look into its eyes i can see myself but im standing in the middle of Times Square and -- hey -- everythings looking up! but it cant be me because im here at Thayer and Broadway dangling my head and angling it AWAY from the passing train because if you look, you get sad, you think of home, and when you think of home, thats when you really know you've lost, not sure what but you've lost and you probably cant even actually go home after youve lost because, well, ********** it you've lost and life just likes to call you a cuck and hit you in the throat like that
but i wouldn't know, i haven't gotten that far yet
Feb 26, 2020
Feb 26, 2020 at 1:00 AM UTC
1. FUNCTION
a function (of a function (of a function)⭠⭠⮪
↳ function (of a function (of a function)) ↑
↑
function (of a function (of a function)) ↑
⇅ ↑
function (of a function (of a function))→ → ⤴
2. CONTRAPTION
a cute curvy carbon contraption
that salivates at the ringing of a bell
that clamps shut when its hairs are touched
that flies south for the winter
3. GREEN
is the earthworm that eats dirt and ***** soil
the lichen that makes barren rock habitable
the bees that pollinate so many plants
the euglena
i seem to breathe, yet am none of these. this makes me
a broken Bigbelly blinking in the dark
a traffic light saying wait, wait, wait to an empty sidewalk
Feb 4, 2020
Feb 4, 2020 at 9:35 PM UTC
you took me by surprise
in the middle of the night
the slightest breeze and
there you were
by my side
you spoke to me
ever so gently
a song without its measures
no staff nor stand
oh-- you sang to me
ever so wonderflly
like a song without its
compositionality (theo-ret-i-cal-ity)
just a melody in the dark
on a lonely winter's night
you come to me
like a melody in the dark
there was not even a spark
not a fleeting glance nor tiny touch
there was not a single sign of you at all
oh-- just a melody in the dark
on a cold dark winter's night
you come to me
like a melody in the dark
not a signature of time
not a rhythm not a rhyme
you went unnoted
like a melody in the dark
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 15, 2019 at 11:37 PM UTC
Motion Motion my devotion
on a lyre and on a quotient
you weave most lovely mind-contortions
yet grasp such fair mathematic notions
Motion Motion my devotion
on the R or in the ocean
you ricochet, stumble, and plie
an animal of the Poles, i did daresay
Motion Motion my devotion
in all the bustle and commotion
there were delays, I had lots of Time(s)
but lost track of them all when you waltzed into mine
Motion Motion my devotion
your can- or cannot-touch-your-toes
sha'nt stop your ***** hips, and toes
in Motion Motion,
strike a pose
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 10:11 PM UTC
hair on me, felt vain.
hair on me, felt extravagant,
foolish. like a curtain of pearls
that i must s-weeeep
clink
clink
clink
clink
.....clink
out of my eyes, what a bother.
hair on me, felt vain.
hair is for loving,
loved, to love, with
length,
and length to be pulled on,
be taut
be supple and silk between the fingers. to be stroked, to come in strokes, to spill
over and tumble and tangle and knot,
and in every which way. from billowy to willowy wisps,
hair on me, felt vain.
it made me expect. it made me crave.
it needed to be swept, it needed to be maintained. it needed to be slept with, it needed to be played. it needed to be loved. and i had no love to spare, and especially no love to be gained.
hair on me, felt vain.
glimmering, shimmering, even when wet in the sullen rain. there was a yearning. a yearning to be made. a yearning to be touched. a yearning to become--
yes, you were beautiful. even wet, in the sullen rain
--something else, something more
beyond me
in that sullen rain. i turned, expecting nothing, perhaps even worse.
but there I saw, in the puddle,
you framed my face.
subtle, like petal. my cheek
rested in the crook of your
arm like perfect.
all
too
perfect.
I had to let you go
and so
snip
snip
snip
snip
snip
....snip
i cut you away
piece by piece
like an unsatisfied lover
(we loved, we loved, it wasn't, enough)
each snip resounding,
each snip more definite
(we loved, we loved, but it wasn't, enough)
you fell away
the way winter falls away into spring,
spring falls away into summer,
summer falls away,
you fell away and i almost despised
how beautiful you looked,
there on the floor
in death, in defeat.
but that made me all the more certain,
you were not for me. even in death.
even in defeat.
hair on me, felt vain.
hair on me, felt extravagant.
hair on me, demanded love
and i would have none of it.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 28, 2019 at 8:27 PM UTC
it's a big, dull throb out there
and there i am, thronging through the thick
we collide, ricochet, burst in each others' peripherals
we tangle and untangle, mesh and unmesh
our limbs, our lines of thought,
our lives, stuffed into one-liners
we pass by,
shoulders thump like halfhearted tongues and
barely parted lips, out drips a single glob of 'morning
and sinks in the air
our lives are too heavy
we continue to fall through the gaps
we cannot stop
we continue to fall through the gaps
our collision was at best
arbitrary, negligible, in the expanse of our lives
in which
we continue to fall through the gaps
why do we knot our fingers when we'll eventually die
why do i hold that gaze of yours when you're only passing by
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 3:10 PM UTC
as the apple falls from the tree
and hits the ground,
with a dull thud
her head hit the ground
and lolled to the side and i could see
the bruises on her somber little face,
what impressionable youth,
what delicate youth we carry on our branches
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 17, 2019 at 2:55 PM UTC
if i look up at the sky
(or if i sit in the folds of my own stomach
for too long and i begin to feel like a soft and lukewarm watermelon)
i begin to think of tears that formulated but never really made it
and i wonder what's worthwhile
music is worthwhile
art is worthwhile
words are worthwhile
some people are worthwhile
and for that i might just stick around awhile
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 24, 2019 at 5:54 PM UTC
i laugh lion's heart
loping street by every stride
claw clattering cobblestone conviction
chest puffed out and head held high
climbing fences and
kissing dark breakers
all that, because i am afraid
so afraid so very afraid so very very afraid and of what, you may ask and i will say everything, EVERYTHING! in a roar akin to a king
but between colorful plumes i am
small, so very small
and so very afraid
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 24, 2019 at 5:36 PM UTC