If you want to spoil me,
Spoil me with loyalty
I've stitched my heart too many times
I won't pretend
I won't lie
I want to spend
The rest of this life
In our forever box
But I know people change
And expectation leads to dissapointment
So I will harden my armor
Just in case
Dec 2, 2017
Dec 2, 2017 at 11:41 AM UTC
We all make mistakes
And I hate to say this
Or admit that this is the most dangerous
And damaging thing I think I've ever done
I am none
I am numb
I'm in a panic
That I can't handle this
I want to dismantle this ****
Before it sinks the ship
The holes let all the death in
Demons embedded inside my head and crept in
Wondering where I've been and whose bed I've slept in
My brain bled in and suffocated my nonexistent soul
I try to take a breath in
But your air is too **** cold
Will nothing make me whole
I'm out of my own control
I've bought and sold my time for all the right lies
You see nothing left
Unless it's left to die
I can't go on
Tonight
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 10, 2017 at 5:26 PM UTC
You make me cry.
I go and **** my girlfriend.
I feel better in the moment.
I sleep... Sometimes.
I wonder where I'll wake up.
When I'll wake up.
The beast has eaten all the good parts.
The liar has won the battle.
The destroyer of trusting hearts is drunk... has lost all control.
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017 at 10:31 PM UTC
Stubborn selfish me
Wanting everything and never being happy
Always relying on others to fill that void
The hurt I cause will surely haunt me
There was an intensity between us
I became addicted and nothing else mattered
If I could pray
I'd pray for your happiness
For your peace
For your joy
I wish I could have been the one to make all your dreams come true
I wish I could have been the one that you could rely on
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 27, 2017 at 7:21 PM UTC
For one night everything was
Almost
Like it was 3 months ago
I gave the kids hugs and tucked them into bed
It's harder to heal a broken heart
When you're the one who dropped it
She's doing a good job of healing on her own
We still share a laugh and a smile
And long periods of awkward silence
We are forever connected
I was wrong
And I knew it from the beginning
Fate is an unworthy excuse
Yet
Here we are
Almost
Like it was 3 months ago
Me, quietly grieving over another suicide
This time
It was someone I knew
Someone I connected with
during a handful of stolen moments in February
Now her little girl will never know her
Gone
Sometimes we don't get to say goodbye
I imagined her ghost walking into the room,
Asking me why I never called her back
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 7:49 AM UTC
I begged to be forgotten
Breaking promises like there was nothing better to do
And now I am
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 4:28 PM UTC
Carry over
More than just damage
Pieces of shattered dreams
Remnants of me
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 4:26 PM UTC
Perfect love discarded like the ashes of a fallen friend
My greed has led me down this path
This dark and unknown road
My heart has deceived me once again
If I could go back
If I could rewind
I'd have control
I'd keep what was once
Mine
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017 at 1:36 PM UTC
Her house was right in the center of town
Between a church and a flower shop
I must have drove right passed her a thousand times
But some summer day came
We collided
Our lives crashed together
Chaos in the midst of hurricanes
A smile arose out of the concrete sadness
The faint sound of laughter in the distance
A lover's stare
A formidable opponent for the comfortable and known
A curiosity corrupts my tainted soul
We smoke together
Laugh together
Eat together
Work together
Bleed together
Runaways in no particular direction
A sacred uncontrollable
Obsession
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017 at 9:10 PM UTC
Vacation
From a life
Pathway procrastinator
Advanced destruction
Psychological decimation
Can I ever come back from this?
Started with a glance
Lust envelopes the both of us
Unjust love
Infection no medicated protection
We become our obsession
Quickly regressing
Life to the point of tears
Sep 16, 2017
Sep 16, 2017 at 6:45 AM UTC