thirty ******* pounds of pressure in my chest. anxiety, i fell under the spell of that demon when i looked in to his eyes we both knew we were destined he and I. anxiety is the ******* that turns a good thing rotten. anxiety will put you in shackles and taunt you with the key. when you think all will go well anxiety pulls the key back just out of reach. anxiety ***** your strength out one day at a time. you always growing weaker, and he just gets stronger. you can’t **** anxiety with a silver bullet, a stake to the heart, or a vial of holy water. much like the path to nirvana you must find your own path to ridding yourself of him. some fail, some succeed. some people seem to fall in love with self torture he doesn’t even have to lift a finger.
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 9:46 AM UTC
stress the gaping hole in the chest broken ribs and torn flesh. anxiety’s got a gun to your head a single pull of the trigger and you’ll be dead. fear is words never said steps never taken only standing there shaking. empty, void of the want to do become or even move. hopeless, convinced there isn’t a way. depression, thoughts and dark images escape and you can run but they can hunt they will find you, hurt you.
happiness the feeling of forgetting are downfall
and
remembering that
the only thing
to fear
is fear
itself
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 1:33 PM UTC
Lucid movement from melting dreams made into reality by your eyes. Fluid love flows with varying forces of gentle streams or rushing tides, crashing and destroying any who oppose the feeling. Two beings connect and intertwine like vines wrapping around a tree. A sense of peace and comfort as soft spoken words are whispered into the ears of the needy. A passion filled embrace making hearts race but stress and anxiety fade into the night. Your sweet voice soothes the most destructive beast when the right combination of words are put together, like finding the key to a treasure chest, unlocking the inner emotion that was trapped deep in your tear ducts. The look of utter surprise when words of such beauty are used in conjunction with your name shock you, and a tide flows from your eyes as you are left speechless. It is a surprise to you, but in my mind, there are not words in the language of humans great enough to describe your beauty. Your smile alone could make a distant soul feel at home. You are not without flaws, I will not lie. Your flaw is your eyes. They hold so much beauty but they cannot see the beauty in themselves. I would give you my eyes so that you could see how divine you truly are. I thank whatever great entity shaped this world, or just mere chance, that brought us together. While we are not without great struggle, the moments of passion that seem to stop time around us make everything worth it. I would craft you cities of gold and a throne made of the stars themselves, all at the simple mention of the night sky.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 9:57 AM UTC
I used to think my looks were less than stellar
like people think Im something that dwells in the cellar
I used to hate my body because it attracted nobody
I used to hate my face because I felt like a disgrace
It felt like fate and god did I hate
I felt like a loser because I couldn’t loose her
I felt so weak I couldn’t stand on my feet
I used to believe all that they speak
I used to feel so alone when I sleep
I was tired of life I gave it a thought
I was tired of living Id fought my fight
I had seen the light that was unbelievably bright
my anxiety melted away and for once didn’t return the next day
my head held high it was my time to fly
I sprouted wings just to give it a try
Ive lost the one I thought I loved
Ive never felt more at piece
I’ve never been so happy
to see
someone is
in true love with
me
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 11:52 AM UTC
The cave of hate. The fire in my chest. Its god forsaken name is stress. it tries to escape through tears or fists. holes in the wall and tear soaked sheets are all that exist. a razor in hand tears like sand. its an endless desert that I’m lost in. and I’ve ran out of water two days in. pill bottle of meds an unknown prescription. swallowed one after another like it will make her come back. a gun in a box, its already cocked ready to go off. blood soaked knuckles from fights with walls and the victor is unclear. intentions unclear motives unknown all thats known it came from a broken home. the bystanders minds were blown some more than others some there heads were blown asunder. Panic attacks back to back and its there own mind thats on attack. alone in the dark they feel without a heart because they have been pierced with the dark dart of hate. can’t stand the wait unbearable anticipation anxiety relentless pain feeling endless or thought to be without, can’t scream or shout for fear of being kicked out. pain is with out a doubt that much is true. but an out stretched hand could prevent this. a friend could prevent this soul from destruction these lives saved all because someone stayed when mentioned.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 2, 2014 at 9:30 PM UTC
I’m a broken soul torn open with these emotions that are invoking. It feels like I’m having a stroke. See, if someone hurts you, I would make it my mission to destroy them, but what do I do when you’re the one who hurt you? What do I do? Well it isn’t really hurting you, it hurts me, but if I destroy me then you might cease to be, and believe me I have thought on this deeply, but an answer doesn’t come that easily. I couldn’t rid myself of you, thats something I couldn’t do. I love you, but you’re breaking the ones who hold you, the ones who haven’t yet told you, the ones that don’t even know you, like the girl who didn’t know your name but she knew your pain, or Janna, Hannah, Ellie, and me. We all would be lost if you ceased to be, people love you. When you slit your wrist we can’t make a fist. Its hard to deal with. I want to get ****** but can’t do it. I could never go through with it. When you cut your wrist out hearts bleed along with you.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 11:16 AM UTC
17 years old and I’m cracking.
The cracks start to glow and red fiery light penetrates the dark, as if there are demons trying to break out of this hollow shell that is myself.
I want to take a knife and pry open my skin, and release this monster and let my flame die out.
I feel alone and that nobody will love me.
Nobody ever will.
If they do its all lies.
I felt this way for most of life, that is until I heard a voice in the void.
I heard your voice cry out, saying that all you’re being is useless but what you don’t know is that you are the first contact I have had in this nightmare, Someone as deep in the void as I am.
You have no idea what you’re voice has done for me.
Your voice has brought my attention away from the monsters.
Your voice has been the only thing in my world other than torment.
You have no idea how much impact your voice has had.
As I listen more and more I hear the same things as I do.
I hear pain ,I hear, self hate, I hear agony.
I hear that i am not alone and when I crawled my way towards your voice I saw a figure. a beautiful being.
A being that the monsters had gotten to long before they did me.
I broke part of my heart tore it in half and held it in an outstretched arm. I am willing to give.
I want to show you that you have given me hope.
While I’m scared that it is false hope, it is hope none the less.
You scream out in agony and I give you everything you have.
Your screams seem to quiet and you look up from the floor, and with tears in your eyes.
You thank me, and I smile back.
You begin to cry and look back down because you fear I am an allusion, that I am a sick trick being played on you by the demons.
I can honestly say the same but when we are both at a point that we would end everything why not put all your cards on the last bit of hope you can grasp.
I will give you the remainder of my heart and you give me yours I do this because you could be the answer to the prayer we both pray for sam.
I love you.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 12:22 PM UTC
I never felt so free to just be me I can’t see how you unlock me like a key. You see the inner me because while I am a locksmith you unlocked me.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
dreams i haven’t had a dream in what feels like years. dreams are a foreign to my head at night there are only nightmares. i guess i could always buy a crappily made dream catcher from the dollar store but what use would it really have. the fact that some people believe that a dollar store dream catch all the nightmares is silly. I’ve had nightmares for years and no sign of any dreams. i guess it was a waste of a dollar. until a life changing event happened. suddenly i was flooded by dreams. dreams of the future of the past of the present and of what could have been. that last one doesn’t mean much to me anymore. its funny now that i think of it I’ve had somewhat of a reoccurring dream the last few nights. there has been a figure off in the distance looking towards me. i can’t tell who or what it is its been to far away to make out the shape i can only tell it is human like from here. but as the dreams continue the figure becomes less blurred and comes out of the shadows. the figure is still unfamiliar to me at this point but last night i had another dream. i was standing in a field alone and out in the distance i could see the figure closer than ever. i could see ****** features almost perfectly. i can’t believe my eyes when i look and see that figure is familiar to me i didn’t believe it. when i looked at the figure well it was you.
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 21, 2014 at 3:00 PM UTC
Rise from smoldering ashes, bring forth new life in a outward burst of flame, and holy cleansing fire. Like the phoenix, I have been given another chance to live again; You to can rise from the ashes of a world that is too clouded to see, take my hand, and begin to fade until there is only an ember glowing among ash, and erupt into a fiery flash blinding all who witness becoming a new you rekindling the flame of life, and beginning again. You have done to me what I cannot thank you enough for. You have given me a reason to rise from these ashes, I will in turn give you a reason to rise from your own ashes, or I will burn out with you.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014 at 12:17 PM UTC