Torrents pouring down around me,
Standing with my arms flung wide
Trying to catch the life, the meaning
And possibilities so high.
I can't stand here, watching helpless;
I wish my soul would be at peace.
There's nothing more that I desire
Than for anxiety to cease.
I see the bubbling brook, so peaceful,
And hear it as it passes by
As birds, chirping, bid me welcome
In bloss'ming trees that point to sky.
Spring and life anew surround me,
But still, I feel no joy inside.
The burdens of my life are haunting
As life is turning with the tide.
Thousands of people, talking, laughing
Pass me by at every turn
If I could but reach out and touch them,
Then would my soul-song cease to yearn?
Alas, I'm in this lonely bubble
Silent but for tears and fears;
Uncertainty that swarms around me
And cringing from the gossip's jeers.
Alas, if I could love another--
With love, unselfish and so true
For so few can penetrate this bubble
Knowing my flaws, and loving me, too.
Apr 23, 2010
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:13 PM UTC
You look at me with wondrous eyes;
I'm sorry, you may be surprised--
I don't deserve your love or trust.
The way you look, how much you care
Astounds me, and I'm really scared
That I'm not capable of loving you
To the extent that you love me.
You've put me on a pedestal;
Trust me--I don't deserve your praise.
I'm as unworthy as can be
I wish--If only you could see
You can do far better than me.
Apr 23, 2010
Apr 23, 2010 at 11:56 AM UTC
If I could have
A piece of wisdom--
Even the tiniest shard;
And if I could know
What is to come,
Oh, what I would give!
To be able to take
That shard, that piece,
And tuck it safely away
In the darkest corner
Of my mind, and
Only pull it out
When I am full of
Hurt, or doubt--
To know that I
Will be alright
No matter how
Life turns or twists
In unexpected ways.
Mar 28, 2010
Mar 28, 2010 at 3:19 PM UTC
Disperse the pain
And clear the air
I wish I could
Start over again
With you, and me--
Make better choices
So we wouldn't be
Caught in the void
Between us now
You're unreachable;
I wish I knew how
To bridge this gap
And make it right,
Please understand me;
I don't want to fight.
Mar 12, 2010
Mar 12, 2010 at 8:38 PM UTC
This pain--
So unexplainable.
This ache
Is undeniable.
I wish, so bad,
That I could fly;
Become mere mist
Up in the sky.
To numb my body,
And numb this pain
Is all I ask;
I won't ask again.
If I could cry
And let the pain
Leak through my tears,
Then would we be
Okay again?
Mar 12, 2010
Mar 12, 2010 at 8:30 PM UTC
Your fingers wrapped up in mine,
My heart wrapped up in yours.
Still trying to define
Where to put that line.
Laughing at each other,
Laughing at ourselves.
Caring for each other
Like nobody else;
This might be love,
But I can't tell.
Is love a choice?
--Yes, I think so.
So do I choose
To take the leap
And love you now?
I still don't know.
Mar 12, 2010
Mar 12, 2010 at 8:24 PM UTC
So many memories from this life
And some will be forgotten.
"A picture's worth a thousand words,"
Some say, and so it's true.
A picture is a freeze in time;
A word, that can't be spoken.
A picture is a little seawater,
Held still in a jar,
While the sea continues on,
Moving, changing constantly.
Pictures are too clear sometimes--
Too harsh, revealing details
We left blurred in our minds.
Mar 1, 2010
Mar 1, 2010 at 8:16 PM UTC
I am finally learning
What it means to balance life;
For I can't give my heart and soul
When you don't give yours too.
We've only just begun now;
I know I've gone too fast.
But keep in mind, this is new to me,
While not exactly new to you.
So I'll pretend my heart's a jigsaw;
You can have it, but piece by piece.
And you must earn the pieces--
I can't promise them to you.
You can't buy them on credit;
No Visa or Mastercard.
We don't take checks here, sorry--
Only cash will do.
Cash comes in form of roses,
And midnight picnics in the park.
Cash comes in form of Brewer games,
And a candle-lit dinner for two;
A night spent under fire-works,
Or a ride in a hot-air balloon.
Don't forget, with each of these gestures,
You must give me a piece of your heart.
But with these must come sweetness,
Respect and sincerity.
I need trust, and most of all,
Respect my right to be free.
And if these you cannot give me,
Then sorry, our bargain is off.
But I think--I hope--you can give
These things I ask of you;
If I didn't, I wouldn't be here--
I only speak the truth.
So if you can prove me right,
Then I'll have nothing to fear.
We'll live happily ever after--
It will be a done deal.
Feb 28, 2010
Feb 28, 2010 at 2:44 PM UTC
I don't know
What to do or think
I only know,
Every time I blink
Something changes,
Life's not the same
And there's no one
On which to lay the blame.
Nothing I do, nothing I say,
Will make time freeze
And stay this way.
If only I knew,
If only I could...
If only--well, then I would.
I look back at the past,
A smile lights my face;
Look to the future,
I turn the color of paste.
And although someday
I want to see
Deep rift valleys
And rivers running free,
Right now, I only want
To freeze this moment,
And take it in hand;
Hold it in my palm
And look on this scene
Knowing it will never be gone
From my memory
Feb 26, 2010
Feb 26, 2010 at 1:19 PM UTC
I thought I'd never find you
But sooner than I thought
I found you; yes, you're mine now
Lord, don't let me ***** this up.
An angel sent from heaven
You have your flaws, it's true
But you're mine, flaws and all now;
Lord, help me to deserve you.
You care for me unyeildingly
You thank me every day
For the ways I show I care for you;
Lord, please help me through.
You see me in a brighter light
Than most of the people I know
You care for me, left and right;
Lord, thank you for this glow.
If ever I could thank you
For all you've done for me,
I'd do it in a hearbeat;
Lord, it's only been a week!
You tell me you admire me,
But I don't know if you should.
My flaws far outweigh yours;
Lord, help me to be good.
I don't deserve a man like you;
I shouldn't even try
The Lord has blessed me immensely;
Lord, I'll thank you with my life.
You're my bulwark, my fortress;
You're steady, strong, and true.
Good to the core, you are;
Lord, help me care for you.
I feel like a hoax, a fake--
A liar to the core.
I don't deserve to be with you;
Lord, help me to be true.
I don't know what to do now;
Soon, this glow will fade
And you'll be dating a hoax, a fake.
Lord, purify my charade.
Feb 24, 2010
Feb 24, 2010 at 9:06 PM UTC