This fleeting moment with him was so sweet
looking back on this in ten years I could probably name so many
just know it was sweet
and you were understood
and right now you are happy and warm
and the sun looks like the guitar riffs floating through your bedroom
and the dog is sleeping
and your room is messy but it's okay
because we'll take care of it later
and you are alive
and you are alive
and you are still alive
May 14, 2024
May 14, 2024 at 6:18 PM UTC
Everything is that deep for me
I have oceans inside
swells in my chest
the tides have been beating
I can't keep waves in my hand
but I have handfuls of what I can keep
Why does everything feel like it's going to pull me under?
May 14, 2024
May 14, 2024 at 4:46 PM UTC
The cans in my room clang like church bells on a Sunday
waking me from a slumber as I roll in my blankets
the wind sweeps my cheek
my minds still asleep
but my eyes flutter anyway
I can taste last nights regrets on my tongue
stale
dry
like I spilled so many words
my mouth has nothing left to taste
Beer still rolls in my belly
holds me like an apology
as I reach for more water
I want to reach for something more
May 10, 2024
May 10, 2024 at 6:37 PM UTC
I sometimes wonder what it's like to have real friends
and I realize the reason I don't think I have them
is because I'm not one
I'm selfish
and I don't want to know what you're going through
because I'm going through enough
and if I care I care too much
so I'm absent
and I'm convinced that one day
I will be able to fill my cup
so I can healthily pour over
but until then I am not a friend.
May 10, 2024
May 10, 2024 at 6:31 PM UTC
You have the kind of beauty that inspires
artists
poets
musicians
and lovers
Venus gifted you with more than you know what to do with
Truth be told
I don't know
who couldn't handle who
You melted every part of me
and I let you
You could do it again
just like in every lifetime I've met you
Jan 5, 2024
Jan 5, 2024 at 11:36 PM UTC
I wore necklaces of bruises when you felt so prompted to gift them
slipped me into sleeves of black and blue
watched my skin turn every hue of human
I remember one night I got brave
and painted you too
There were times you'd say you loved my eyes
so much so
you could never look at the stains your anger left behind
Who knew familiar hands would create the very reasons
I had to hide
There were entire days you spent trying to wash away the colors
attempting to convince me of the superficiality of my wounds
as secrets added up between the four walls of your room
Mornings were for recovery
but you'd see red if I couldn't forget by afternoon
Feb 12, 2021
Feb 12, 2021 at 9:30 PM UTC
I'm starting to see in color again.
It began like the seasons do
happening over your shoulder
summer nights shed their skin
into something a shade colder
but you can't remember exactly when
the colors appeared a bit bolder.
So used to life through absent eyes
I almost couldn't see in anything
other than black and white
But there were times that
I'd get stuck staring too long
like finding a rip in the seams
catch a color I hadn't seen
or find a new one in a kiss
a ripple in reality
my greys had more tint.
Soon I began to pine
for all the hues I'd missed
my favorite colors
given away to previous years
shades so familiar
they came with memories
undertones I could hear.
So I let it all come back
gave my eyes the time
to adjust from shadows
to the brighter whites.
Some days I still struggle
with every color I’ve seen
when nights are so blue
the indigos sink, deeper into me
but morning always returns
with her amber glow
I’ve seen God in her smile
and I keep her close.
Apr 22, 2020
Apr 22, 2020 at 2:29 AM UTC
It’s halfway through March
which means I’ve been lost since I don’t know when
I used to call it a life binge
but I can’t seem to stop spinning
think I’ve lost my footing
still can’t see the ground
wonder what sound I’ll make if I fall
so used to catching myself
I wonder if I’ll fall at all
Mar 15, 2020
Mar 15, 2020 at 11:12 PM UTC
Oh but Mama, the liquor feels so good in my system
so warm in my blood
I'll bet you never thought I would've listened
but now look at me
filling your shoes, so lost in my boots
I look a little something like you would've
I believe I would reckon.
And Mama have you seen
what a mess I've let these men make of me?
Most of them built on apologies
but they mean what they say
and they like to say it when they're mean.
Oh, Mama,
you should see the things you didn't mean to teach me.
Mama? Please don't be sad,
or hurt, or guilted, or shamed,
you did the best you could with what we had to our name,
My heart's bigger than most
and my eyes are wider all the same
I'll hold it all on my shoulders
I've learned to balance peace with the pain.
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 7, 2019 at 4:47 AM UTC
He was a good man when he could be but love is not about convenience.
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 4:39 PM UTC