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seanasea-sierra-wallenWhisper
Canadian
Goodmorning, babe.The second i snap out of my dream and back into the realism of it all, im hoping second by second that your actually here beside me and that i wasn't just dreaming out loud. My body and mind, coming back to the surface of it all, my breathing pick's up and my sense of feel and smell has resurfaced. I smell the sweet and light smell of your hair but im not sure if it's just the after math of my dream. starring at this wall, im afraid to roll over, because if i roll over and your not there i don't know how well i'm going to do or if ill even continue with my day. If I can continue this dream of you, i'll sleep forever, i'll never open my eyes again. I brace myself, cause it's time for me to roll over. Tightening my muscles, stretching my skin, tired bone's cracking, hair moving in all direction's, clothes moving out of place and indenting the bed. I squeeze my eye's tight, causing my pupil's to shrink, hoping that when i open these door's and let my pupil's increase to normal size, there your perfectly shaped body will be. I imagine it before i dare to reveal the truth. The blanket's fall into place where your curves indent, your hair in a wave like the pattern flowing wave's in the ocean, your arm being tucked just under your chin where it meet's your other arm and after a few seconds i can't bare the taunt my imagination is dangling in my face, so i open my eyes and there you are. Exactly how I imagined it. I take a moment for all this to register, as if i had just won the lottery. In that moment i find myself wrapping my arm's around you and your finger's sliding up my arm and into my hand to lock with mine. This is truely the meaning of "Goodmorning", so goodmorning, babe.
My beautiful girl.She stood there, across from me. Unable to look into my eyes, she stood there. With her hands in the pockets of her jeans, her shoulder and head leaning against the wall, and gravity trying to **** the tears she was trying to hold back, her head was down but up enough for me to see what was going through her mind. She stood there and she was beautiful. Her face was full of worry, confusion, anger and she was upset. Her hands were in her pockets because she was shaking, she was nervous. My words were realization, the kind that screams at you. She stood there and i stood across from her, looking at her, unable to take my eyes off of her. While i was full of regret, she was lost in her own train of thought. Someone had to make her think though. Silence filled the air for longer then i realized at the time. She looked up but quickly away, avoiding my eyes that were visibly begging for hers, and in that instant her tears played tag along her cheeks, dripping aimlessly down to the floor, giving into gravity. But she was beautiful. Biting her lip out of shame for crying, she looked back down and in that instant, defeat took over her every inch. I stood there, my eyes still begging for hers, and I couldnt move. She was beautiful and I was numb. To check if I was alive, i took a step towards her, being drawn in by her beauty, then i took a few more, until i found myself quickly wrap my arms around her. She went to turn away cause she didnt find herself deserving of this, but i held her, deserving or not. I held her because i wasnt going anywhere, anytime soon and i didnt want to let her slip away from me like i did the rest, because She wasnt the rest, she was her and she was absolutley beautiful where she stood. I didn let her go because, I couldnt, i wouldnt let myself. Her being there, within my arms, was my realization, the kind thats just a whisper in your ear. I pulled away and whiped away her tears. Finally, her eyes met mine. It was then that we both knew. I wasnt going anywhere and she was coming no where with me. She was everything. She was my beautiful girl and she is beautiful where she stands.
1920's projectureWe talk, but only in my dreams and when i awake in the morning i wonder if maybe you might of actually been there, but when i've blinked my way to the surface and realize that im laying there alone and have been since I first layed down alone, you were never really there and havn't been for what feels like centuries. Disappointment and a mixture of anger sink's and I rush out of this bed that once held you. When i've clawed my way out of the grave of nights filled with what now is a ghost, I look around the room and replays upon replays flow through and out into the open like a 1920's projecture. After being glued down to this floor by the sea of memories trying to take me down, I walk out the door and when I do, the oceans spray hits me like your hair did when we hit the bed and for a minute, I feel you, all over me, every inch, like grapevines on a forgotten building, take over what's left. But I rip through it all cause I don't like to be broken down. I head up the staires and fall because your voice keeps calling me, pulling me back, climbing up to my shoulders and pushing me down as if my legs are slowly disinigrating. As I lay there, in defeat, every inch of my body is tooken over by the feel of you, your voice, your touch, your smell, your taste, your ghost. And while I talk to you in my thoughts you louer me in, word by word, inch by inch. I'm sailing away, back into you, away from myself, in a sea of defeat. As I sail closer and closer to you, the wind picks up and steals everything. The voice, the touch, the smell, the taste, my sense of direction. It steals all from me and leaves me in the sea to fend for myself. As I float, the waves grow higher and higher and take me down under. As I get pushed down, farther and farther by the pressure of the unknown, I start to give up and realize there's really no need to fight because theres nothing I can do. Nothing I can say. Nothing. So, as this scene comes to an end and I hit the ocean floor, I then look up and see that everything's come to a rest and all is calm, I then look up and see the world. The world in which doesn't involve me. A world in which doesn't realize where i am nor does it care. A world in which was mine. A world in which is you. / (c)SeanaseaWallen 2010
My bones.I cant stand the taste. The taste that lingers in my mouth. From my tounge it sinks from my spit glands and into my blood stream and from my blood stream you flow into me and all around me. I can feel it, through every inch of me. This taste. This feeling. Its creeping through my veins. Youre under my skin and walking on my bones. This body is now yours, so time for take over. Take it over, please, because my skin is nothing without your touch and blood wont run without this fuel. As my blood and you race along every inch of me, you reach my brain and when you arrive, comfort surrounds my skull, almost as if it were a blanket surrounding my head. From my brains and into my back, i feel your hands glide from my ribs to my shoulder blades and scratch down my spine. From my back to my arms, i feel them stretch around you and flex, with muscles getting week and your touch getting stronger, i get slapped with realization and i then realize that my whole entire world is in my arms, how could i let it go. What if i have to let it go? Blood, you, rushing, sinking into my stomache, causing airplanes to crash into the walls of my body and the outline of my lungs, causing earthquakes to crack my surface and show every ounce of emotion or thought going through me. While you and my blood race into my legs, my knees get weak and disinigrate, theres no need for standing when airplanes are lifting you high enough. While i get lifted by millions of airplanes, flying all at once, i open my eyes to see yours and im blinded by them, fore they are the sun that burns the light in me. This is it, this is where i want to be. Stay here forever, dont ever set me free because a life with out airplanes or earthquakes or races, is life without you and thats just something i can no longer do.
CigarettesIm going for a walk. A walk to clear my head. Clear it right out. Take away the memories, burn away the knowledge, i don't care. Everything need's to be moved out of my mind and thought's and sold at a garage sale for all i care. This fresh air isnt working. Where's my lighter, come here cancer. I take a deep breath in and take in all the toxin's with it, hopeing maybe a chemical reaction will effect everything going on in my head, melting away everything. Step, inhale, step, exhale. While blowing out the toxin, i blow out my thought's and memory and walk right back into them. Blow by blow, im taking them for you. Puff by puff, im taking these in for sanity. Half way done and block's from home i keep looking over my shoulder hoping maybe you or someone like you will follow quickly after. Oh cigarette, why must the comfort you bring over me disappear once you've left me? But like you, the cigarette did not respond, because the cigarette was gone and out of my hand's. Out of reach. So i stand there, looking at the empty space where the just barely burning end of the cigarette settles into place and i just watch the snow take over. I watch the once visibly lit cigarette turn black and into ash's. Even though the cigarette's burnt out, im still standing here, uncertain as to why im here, but im here and im waiting. I will wait until dusk and if the spark comes back, i will move at the paste the spark moves. Just to make sure i stay with it. But if not, i will go home and i will relight another cigarette, hoping maybe this is the right one.