sean-c-johnson - Hello Poetry

I braced for the sound, the inevitable blast that would deafen my ears and jolt my nerves they came streaming out in my words every syllable sounded like rounds from the chamber as i released my anger I hate who I become when you spit your venom and load my gun the magazine full of thoughts of discontent shells of spite and resent your words push your fingers to pull my trigger itching dangerously close to setting off my uncontrollable rage I try putting my mouth on safe holding the rounds at bay yet they pour out one after another we're poison for each other I'm sick, weak in the knees as these words continue to release each time your words pull that trigger and squeeze the blowback nearly knocks me off my feet I hear the distinct buzz of being too close to the boom in the center of the room my fingers pointing at you to blame, you're the reason I explode I'm too weak, these words too heavy to reload I hate who I've become when you fill my thoughts with this ammo and turn me into this gun

0

Dec 19, 2014

Dec 19, 2014 at 2:51 AM UTC

Trigger

I braced for the sound, the inevitable blast that would deafen my ears and jolt my nerves they came streaming out in my words every syllable sounded like rounds from the chamber as i released my anger I hate who I become when you spit your venom and load my gun the magazine full of thoughts of discontent shells of spite and resent your words push your fingers to pull my trigger itching dangerously close to setting off my uncontrollable rage I try putting my mouth on safe holding the rounds at bay yet they pour out one after another we're poison for each other I'm sick, weak in the knees as these words continue to release each time your words pull that trigger and squeeze the blowback nearly knocks me off my feet I hear the distinct buzz of being too close to the boom in the center of the room my fingers pointing at you to blame, you're the reason I explode I'm too weak, these words too heavy to reload I hate who I've become when you fill my thoughts with this ammo and turn me into this gun

22

I'll ignore the symptoms, embrace the syndrome I'm damaged baby, so ******* damaged, but wouldn't that be so perfect of me to play the victim I've disavowed the emotions that swell and seek to surge the barriers I so delicately built over this life Waging war and setting siege with my heart in the dead of night In the eerie quiet hours when I still hear your voice haunting, pouring through the trees As if it was evaporated off your breath and swept away in the breeze I'm nervous, hands shaking violently with discontent When I replay every word you spoke and decipher what they meant You reach for my hands as you beg and repent, I can taste the resent The familiar taste seeping over my tastebuds as you try and explain your fake love I would've preferred you never came back at all after what you did Never apologized never begged me to forgive Never even mentioned the moment but instead simply left with him Yet you dragged me back in it, filling my ears with your fallacies, my heart with your promises and my mind with your venom I'm trapped in your spell, ignoring all the symptoms So ******* damaged, how did you become the victim?

0

Nov 16, 2014

Nov 16, 2014 at 9:39 PM UTC

Victim

I'll ignore the symptoms, embrace the syndrome I'm damaged baby, so ******* damaged, but wouldn't that be so perfect of me to play the victim I've disavowed the emotions that swell and seek to surge the barriers I so delicately built over this life Waging war and setting siege with my heart in the dead of night In the eerie quiet hours when I still hear your voice haunting, pouring through the trees As if it was evaporated off your breath and swept away in the breeze I'm nervous, hands shaking violently with discontent When I replay every word you spoke and decipher what they meant You reach for my hands as you beg and repent, I can taste the resent The familiar taste seeping over my tastebuds as you try and explain your fake love I would've preferred you never came back at all after what you did Never apologized never begged me to forgive Never even mentioned the moment but instead simply left with him Yet you dragged me back in it, filling my ears with your fallacies, my heart with your promises and my mind with your venom I'm trapped in your spell, ignoring all the symptoms So ******* damaged, how did you become the victim?

17

Her voice was as the sirens of past, the lovely melodies that nearly entranced Homer to a treacherous fate upon the sea Tucked deep in the mountains the ocean was far from reach, yet her voice still called out to me Subtle at first, muffled by whipping winds full of snow coming from all directions Yet amidst all the ambient noise her voice still garnered my inspection Flakes of snow shone bright within the cloud that nestled upon us, my headlamp casting an eerie reflection Her voice cut through the noise yet again, soothing beckoning me to return Pressing on higher my legs ached and burned I felt them beg and yearn For the rest she had offered, a moment to reside upon this slope steep and unsteady My body craved the break, this pack seemed to grow heavy I pressed on Praying the metallic clang of my ice axe across the rocks buried deep in the snow would block out her song The melodic thump of my boots sinking into the snow with every kick step I could hear my breath Straining the higher we'd climb Her voice began to penetrate my mind I felt uneasy, never ready to face her I always looked higher, finally I took a glimpse behind There she was beckoning me to jettison into her cold embrace She had no face, there was no physical form to be had, lost in the midst I heard her calling out my name, begging for my soul, I hear her calling...I hear the abyss

0

Oct 28, 2014

Oct 28, 2014 at 8:45 AM UTC

The Abyss

Her voice was as the sirens of past, the lovely melodies that nearly entranced Homer to a treacherous fate upon the sea Tucked deep in the mountains the ocean was far from reach, yet her voice still called out to me Subtle at first, muffled by whipping winds full of snow coming from all directions Yet amidst all the ambient noise her voice still garnered my inspection Flakes of snow shone bright within the cloud that nestled upon us, my headlamp casting an eerie reflection Her voice cut through the noise yet again, soothing beckoning me to return Pressing on higher my legs ached and burned I felt them beg and yearn For the rest she had offered, a moment to reside upon this slope steep and unsteady My body craved the break, this pack seemed to grow heavy I pressed on Praying the metallic clang of my ice axe across the rocks buried deep in the snow would block out her song The melodic thump of my boots sinking into the snow with every kick step I could hear my breath Straining the higher we'd climb Her voice began to penetrate my mind I felt uneasy, never ready to face her I always looked higher, finally I took a glimpse behind There she was beckoning me to jettison into her cold embrace She had no face, there was no physical form to be had, lost in the midst I heard her calling out my name, begging for my soul, I hear her calling...I hear the abyss

20

Remember when these words leapt from my mouth, letters became gazelles bounding across the high plains of my tongue rolling off my lips like a ship cresting the waves of a treacherous storm ravaged sea Thrown to and fro, sloshing along the surface with the inertia of 24 years of anticipation pushing them to the edge Anxiously awaiting to be propelled into the open air, like bullets in the chamber of the rifle itching for the pull of a hair-pin trigger never being depressed Remember when the similes that ran within me flowed like the mighty Mississippi, etching away at the banks running from the spring of my mind to the delta of my fingertips pouring upon the page as if each finger became an estuary for my passion Remember when the discovery of new words left my mind racing, searching for the synonyms that fit every aspect of my emotions at that precise moment Perhaps the night required the depth of more enchanting words to shed light on my thoughts that the moon could never replicate Whereas the day needed the lightness of my carefree views to float on as clouds casting shadows to provide the shelter you craved Never fulfilled unless the expression of my soul was understood beyond pages and ink, splattered for your enjoyment Remember when I never needed poetry because the life I lived was art in itself Remember when I felt fulfilled with who I had become Remember when...

0

Aug 1, 2014

Aug 1, 2014 at 4:09 AM UTC

Remember when

Remember when these words leapt from my mouth, letters became gazelles bounding across the high plains of my tongue rolling off my lips like a ship cresting the waves of a treacherous storm ravaged sea Thrown to and fro, sloshing along the surface with the inertia of 24 years of anticipation pushing them to the edge Anxiously awaiting to be propelled into the open air, like bullets in the chamber of the rifle itching for the pull of a hair-pin trigger never being depressed Remember when the similes that ran within me flowed like the mighty Mississippi, etching away at the banks running from the spring of my mind to the delta of my fingertips pouring upon the page as if each finger became an estuary for my passion Remember when the discovery of new words left my mind racing, searching for the synonyms that fit every aspect of my emotions at that precise moment Perhaps the night required the depth of more enchanting words to shed light on my thoughts that the moon could never replicate Whereas the day needed the lightness of my carefree views to float on as clouds casting shadows to provide the shelter you craved Never fulfilled unless the expression of my soul was understood beyond pages and ink, splattered for your enjoyment Remember when I never needed poetry because the life I lived was art in itself Remember when I felt fulfilled with who I had become Remember when...

13

Scratching at the surface, a mass of desperation weighing over my gentle soul yearning, scraping trying to dig out of this hole I'm scraping to make it out of this whole pieces of me shed with my every thrashing, every movement comes with a struggle pieces strewn throughout my life, never amounting to a puzzle forward progress is my dream within it all yet there is never a climb without the fall no descent worth noticing, no downward spiral out of place A part of me breaks with every brief glimpse of that face Walking through the halls of worn images and depressed portraits finally realizing they are all mirrors the only surface that could reflect the reality clearer nights plagued with restless thoughts and dreams out of reach reaching for the surface, hoping these hands can finally breach the veil that shrouds my forward motion drowning in my failures, a soul just drifting in this ocean every step comes with it's hesitation a constant testament to my self will and patience a train to my future always late to the station leaving me anxiously waiting staring down the tracks of my past listening for the humming droning of the steel bars scraping the electric rail, sizzling and popping in the late summer evening Waiting to depart, finally leaving On the platform, ticket in hand, bags upon my shoulder I never saw myself growing up, I never wanted to get older Never asked for much, never yearned for more than stability All scales must return to level, just wondering when they will for me.

0

Jul 8, 2014

Jul 8, 2014 at 4:16 AM UTC

Scales

Scratching at the surface, a mass of desperation weighing over my gentle soul yearning, scraping trying to dig out of this hole I'm scraping to make it out of this whole pieces of me shed with my every thrashing, every movement comes with a struggle pieces strewn throughout my life, never amounting to a puzzle forward progress is my dream within it all yet there is never a climb without the fall no descent worth noticing, no downward spiral out of place A part of me breaks with every brief glimpse of that face Walking through the halls of worn images and depressed portraits finally realizing they are all mirrors the only surface that could reflect the reality clearer nights plagued with restless thoughts and dreams out of reach reaching for the surface, hoping these hands can finally breach the veil that shrouds my forward motion drowning in my failures, a soul just drifting in this ocean every step comes with it's hesitation a constant testament to my self will and patience a train to my future always late to the station leaving me anxiously waiting staring down the tracks of my past listening for the humming droning of the steel bars scraping the electric rail, sizzling and popping in the late summer evening Waiting to depart, finally leaving On the platform, ticket in hand, bags upon my shoulder I never saw myself growing up, I never wanted to get older Never asked for much, never yearned for more than stability All scales must return to level, just wondering when they will for me.

27

The weight of the world weighed heavy She was a modern day Olympus feeling the pressure cracks of a spherical burden Bearing the full brunt she winces yet sheds no tears Her plight remains silent in the deepest recesses of the night Hers and hers alone She confides in the stars Polaris her guiding light As she sets her sights to the heavens Letting Orion aim his bow and fire arrows at her rigid frame She moves for nothing Steady as the mountain she holds out through wailing winds and piercing rain The weight of the world heavy but never enough for her to bear Her eyes shone back the light of the moon Merely a third party reflection of faded sun rays She let the tides of seven seas and 24 years of misery swell in her stare Breath crisp yet labored at the reality of it all She remains awake silent waiting on the sky to fall Bearing company to her closer than anything she ever knew She'd hold the world forever just to give it all to you...

0

Jan 13, 2014

Jan 13, 2014 at 9:45 PM UTC

She

The weight of the world weighed heavy She was a modern day Olympus feeling the pressure cracks of a spherical burden Bearing the full brunt she winces yet sheds no tears Her plight remains silent in the deepest recesses of the night Hers and hers alone She confides in the stars Polaris her guiding light As she sets her sights to the heavens Letting Orion aim his bow and fire arrows at her rigid frame She moves for nothing Steady as the mountain she holds out through wailing winds and piercing rain The weight of the world heavy but never enough for her to bear Her eyes shone back the light of the moon Merely a third party reflection of faded sun rays She let the tides of seven seas and 24 years of misery swell in her stare Breath crisp yet labored at the reality of it all She remains awake silent waiting on the sky to fall Bearing company to her closer than anything she ever knew She'd hold the world forever just to give it all to you...

19

The wailing winds sear their caress in my memory The cold of an eastern Pennsylvanian winter Stinging yet rejuvenating, surrounded by ubiquitous gusts This place is sacred, this hallowed ground My toes rocking on top of the semi frozen hillside Staring out across a chain or rolling hills and deciduous forests Trees packed so densely together I see only one ever extending canopy of leaves Seamlessly shifting colors as if on a whim I feel small in this moment Amidst the grand expanse of nature that has humbled my soul The mist and lingering breath pouring from the nose of a horse tamed yet yearning for the open pasture The clouds that soak up the pinks and blues of a setting sun The wailing winds seared into my memory I am home I am home.

0

Nov 11, 2013

Nov 11, 2013 at 12:20 PM UTC

Fall

The wailing winds sear their caress in my memory The cold of an eastern Pennsylvanian winter Stinging yet rejuvenating, surrounded by ubiquitous gusts This place is sacred, this hallowed ground My toes rocking on top of the semi frozen hillside Staring out across a chain or rolling hills and deciduous forests Trees packed so densely together I see only one ever extending canopy of leaves Seamlessly shifting colors as if on a whim I feel small in this moment Amidst the grand expanse of nature that has humbled my soul The mist and lingering breath pouring from the nose of a horse tamed yet yearning for the open pasture The clouds that soak up the pinks and blues of a setting sun The wailing winds seared into my memory I am home I am home.

14

Cast your wishes to the wind Launch your desires to the sea Throw your emotions to the ocean Set your most intimate aspects free Most of all, leave your secrets safe from me Baby, I'm an anchor rusted steel exposed to the seaward breeze aching to race from the sun to the darkest depths pulling you under in my selfish plummet there's no escaping the salty abyss I'm rushing towards You see the bottom suits me, beautifully perhaps for the bottom is nothing new to me dwelling out of touch from the sun's rays never yearning for the warmth of another to rouse me from the darkness for perhaps the bottom was always meant to be home rusted steel set perfectly in the moondust sand of an ocean's farthest depths so cast your wishes to the wind, never tied to the chains linked to me Baby, I'm an anchor I was never meant to be soaring in the winds, together with you set free...

0

Oct 18, 2013

Oct 18, 2013 at 7:30 PM UTC

Anchor

Cast your wishes to the wind Launch your desires to the sea Throw your emotions to the ocean Set your most intimate aspects free Most of all, leave your secrets safe from me Baby, I'm an anchor rusted steel exposed to the seaward breeze aching to race from the sun to the darkest depths pulling you under in my selfish plummet there's no escaping the salty abyss I'm rushing towards You see the bottom suits me, beautifully perhaps for the bottom is nothing new to me dwelling out of touch from the sun's rays never yearning for the warmth of another to rouse me from the darkness for perhaps the bottom was always meant to be home rusted steel set perfectly in the moondust sand of an ocean's farthest depths so cast your wishes to the wind, never tied to the chains linked to me Baby, I'm an anchor I was never meant to be soaring in the winds, together with you set free...

20

I find myself tormented at night eyes bloodshot staring at the light pupils drying out, attempting to remove your image so perfectly painted on my eyelids every evening no matter how many tears rush out, your watermark isn't leaving dreams destined for nightmarish turns as the light dries and burns the windows to my soul that you seem to have taken hold claimed stake in the dreams I create tainted every release I find in these sheets with altered memories and distorted perceptions I let my mind's projection paint the perfect image of your essence yet time and time again I fail to see my presence I see the hands of a man running along the skin that I once embraced so dearly the image blurred at first, comes together so clearly as you draw near to me his hands defiling the trust between us as you utter his name in the same sacred tone you used for mine in our home I feel myself tormented at night, destroying the image of you all alone only to find myself in the same struggle, when the moon comes around and the night draws silent hoping and dreaming to remove you from my eyelids

0

Oct 15, 2013

Oct 15, 2013 at 11:09 PM UTC

Eyelids

I find myself tormented at night eyes bloodshot staring at the light pupils drying out, attempting to remove your image so perfectly painted on my eyelids every evening no matter how many tears rush out, your watermark isn't leaving dreams destined for nightmarish turns as the light dries and burns the windows to my soul that you seem to have taken hold claimed stake in the dreams I create tainted every release I find in these sheets with altered memories and distorted perceptions I let my mind's projection paint the perfect image of your essence yet time and time again I fail to see my presence I see the hands of a man running along the skin that I once embraced so dearly the image blurred at first, comes together so clearly as you draw near to me his hands defiling the trust between us as you utter his name in the same sacred tone you used for mine in our home I feel myself tormented at night, destroying the image of you all alone only to find myself in the same struggle, when the moon comes around and the night draws silent hoping and dreaming to remove you from my eyelids

26

She said "how do you have the audacity?!" I felt her words, tearing, blasting me words cut like shards of glass to me as if desert sands beating on my weathered skin I feel her composure wearing thin water droplets become the tell tale sign in her eyes swelling hands violently flapping in the air in tune with the yelling her motions far too compelling bringing troubled thoughts to my eager mind eyes search to find my way out no neon arrows point to my escape route I must bear the brunt of what I had done never expected her to try and tear down the sky above When I finally, after so many years expressed to her my love...

0

Oct 14, 2013

Oct 14, 2013 at 10:57 PM UTC

Audacity

She said "how do you have the audacity?!" I felt her words, tearing, blasting me words cut like shards of glass to me as if desert sands beating on my weathered skin I feel her composure wearing thin water droplets become the tell tale sign in her eyes swelling hands violently flapping in the air in tune with the yelling her motions far too compelling bringing troubled thoughts to my eager mind eyes search to find my way out no neon arrows point to my escape route I must bear the brunt of what I had done never expected her to try and tear down the sky above When I finally, after so many years expressed to her my love...

15