i see the golden speckles
in your ocean blue eyes
holding my own reflection
as the sunlight dances off them
i dreamed of a love like this
so soft, safe and gentle
patiently embracing me
like warm log fire on the coldest winter day
Sep 3, 2025
Sep 3, 2025 at 10:32 AM UTC
i got addicted to the emotional roller coaster
now i can't find my balance on steady ground
high hopes and low blows
love bombed me like the fireworks on your birthday
and you convinced me that wasn't the case
but who talks rings and cradles
when my hands have barely touched your soul?
we were still strangers
i should've known
i showed you the demons from my past
you swore you wouldn't hurt me like that
but you went on and did exactly just that
you left me high and dry
abandoned me without a trace
never any rhyme or reason
i made peace without closure
you tucked your tail between your legs
and ran like a scared little boy at the first sign of danger
then of course
just like clockwork
you came crawling back
begging for forgiveness
begging for my hand again
begging for love
but i've already given it to someone else
and unlike you
i have no regrets
because i would rather sit by a warm log fire on a winter's eve
than to shiver at explosive fireworks in the night sky
on any given day
Aug 11, 2025
Aug 11, 2025 at 3:52 AM UTC
you live
in my memories now
and i like to
revisit
every now and then
May 12, 2025
May 12, 2025 at 5:26 AM UTC
for the first time
i understood why children cry
and beg for their favourite toys
not to be taken away
because darling
that's exactly how I feel
when i imagine
ever losing you
May 12, 2025
May 12, 2025 at 5:14 AM UTC
i have just moved all our pictures
into the hidden folder
the graveyard of memories
my heart aches with endless yearning
sorrow, grief and regret
our love was so short-lived
like a helpless little kitten
that died before it ever got a chance
to fully experience the wonders of life
our love was a flickering candle flame
that burnt so bright
and fizzled so soon
my tattooed golden retriever
my soldier, my love
you said it was "right person, wrong time"
but what if the timing could never favour upon us?
what if we could never find our way back to each other?
May 11, 2025
May 11, 2025 at 5:30 AM UTC
i met you when i was 14
and like an addict with their first dose of ******
i had a taste of you, liked it
i grabbed and hooked on to something
way too soon
i met you when i was 14
had my first kiss on a train in the sunset
something so strangely intriguing
it was beyond perfect, felt like home
and i thank you for that
had my first kiss on a train in the sunset
i gave my body to you
i thought that one day i was going to marry you
your fingers and lips traced every inch of my skin
our love was naked and raw
i gave my body to you
you were there in my room
we shared a playlist of stolen lullabies
i could see you up against the closet door with me
i closed my eyes as the moonlight washed me through
you were there in my room
i reached for you and you pushed my hand away
in the darkest crowd of the busy station
i saw you cry for the very first time
as the unforgivable words slipped out of my mouth
i reached for you and you pushed my hand away
we danced under the christmas lights
we never made it 'til the season
the decorations were put up too early
just like us
we danced under the christmas lights
you left me like my soul had left my body
phone call, 19:35
i guess you were relieved
but nobody else would care for me the way you did
you left me like my soul had left my body
i was a **** mess
no food, no shower, no friends, no life
i couldn't leave the couch due to my fear
that even seeing the littlest something would've reminded me of you
i was a **** mess
you had blades running down my skin
we were toxic
our love had both of us walking on a tightrope from the very beginning
i guess you fell off first
you had blades running down my skin
i found myself
you stold my highest passion - taylor swift
we were going to see her show later this year
but i was left with a spare ticket
i found myself
i was getting over you
sleeping, crying, dancing
until the music came back into my life
until i saw the sunrise for the first time in 6 months
i was getting over you
Sep 12, 2023
Sep 12, 2023 at 10:30 AM UTC
i'm trapped inside my own mind
watching the world go by
with this burning desire for freedom
yet struggling to leave the past behind
this mental cage i've built
my trapped soul like an helpless bird
drenched myself in darkness
i cannot fly
i thought you were my guardian angel
but you clipped my wings
said you'd give me the world
but you took everything from me
Sep 12, 2023
Sep 12, 2023 at 9:57 AM UTC
your touch
the sweetest glaze of heaven's gate
honey dripping from your lips
i swear, i could almost taste it
Sep 12, 2023
Sep 12, 2023 at 9:51 AM UTC
the cold fan running
the people chattering
i'm in the waiting room
biting my own nails
my brain is wired
my mind as blank
as the white wall in front of me
it's half past the scheduled time
of the appointment i never wanted to show up to
the psychologist is not here yet...
where is she?
i'm sitting here anxiously waiting
shaking my knees, rocking back and forth
can she just get here already?
so we can go back to that same old room
talk about the same old useless ****
for what must've been the hundredth time
and does it even matter
because none of it will fix my problems?
i'm still sitting here
my thoughts are consuming me
with each ticking of the clock
the fan feels a little colder
and the chatters seem a little louder
Jan 7, 2023
Jan 7, 2023 at 9:27 AM UTC
i finalised my "divorce" today. well, it was a breakup. 2 years together, lived together, shared our cats, shared a life... all that. so yeah, it felt like a mini divorce.
and i couldn't help but notice how relatable the song "happiness" by taylor swift is now...
_"all the years i've given is just **** we're dividing up"_
he left the house a week ago. today he came by, and divided up our shared things.
_"tell me when did your winning smile_
_began to look like a smirk?_
_when did all our lessons start to look like weapons_
_pointed at my deepest hurt?"_
when i first met him, it was the stuff of fairytales - like most relationships. we shared some of the best memories of our lives together. but like all good things, it came to an end. over time, we became stressed with life's responsibilities. we became toxic to each other, and both made terrible mistakes. towards the end, it became the inevitable to end things.
_"after giving you the best i had_
_tell me what to give after that?"_
i gave it my all. we both tried our best. it just wasn't meant to be.
_"haunted by the look in my eyes_
_that would've loved you for a lifetime"_
how i wished he was the one... given any chance, i would've loved him for a lifetime. i miss him. i miss the life we shared. i grieve for the future we will never have.
_"i can't make it go away by making you a villian"_
but just because the relationship failed, it was still extraordinarily beautiful. i hold zero resentment towards him at all. no negative feelings. i wish him all the best in the future.
_"no one teaches you what to do_
_when a good man hurts you_
_and you know you hurt him too"_
these lyrics hit me the most...
_"there'll be happiness after you_
_but there was happiness because of you"_
goodbye, lover. maybe in another lifetime, our paths will cross again. but for now, i wish you all the happiness in the world. i will always have love for you deep in my heart.
Dec 20, 2022
Dec 20, 2022 at 11:23 AM UTC