sometimes i wonder about the kind of girl i would have grown up to be if my trauma had never ceased to exist.
if i had never spent decades of my youth trying to mold my imperfections to the male gazes' views on what it meant to be a lady.
would i still have lived in the sin that led me to the wages of death or would i have lived freely with the spirit of the holy that showered me with serenity?
would i still have fought so hard for the freedom and solace that had never belonged to the violence of the patriarchy or would i have sat crossed legged in a chair like the woman my ancestors would have rendered me to be?
would i still have let the boys that masqueraded as men, see the forbidden depths of my God given body or would i have clothed myself with competence and capability? if my trauma had never ceased to exist, would this version of me just live to be seen as an example of who i never wanted to be?
Oct 5, 2021
Oct 5, 2021 at 12:56 AM UTC
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧
𝐚𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫,
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤
𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬.
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫
𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨’𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲
𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐬
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞?
Mar 30, 2021
Mar 30, 2021 at 2:27 PM UTC