A steady inhale, then pause
Exhale, release the tension and flaws
As your breath escapes your lips
Whisper “I’m forgiven”
I’m forgiven for what has happened to me
I’m forgiven for what I tried to be
Shake, release the tension that abuse once gave
Let go and forget how they behaved
As your exhale is released
Remember that you deserve peace
You deserve a love that accepts and embraces
Love that has no questions or dual faces
Love that continues to find you despite hard days
One so rare in many ways
Love that can’t help but greet you in the morning
A love that comes from within with no warning
Jul 30, 2025
Jul 30, 2025 at 12:11 AM UTC
January 25,
Im grateful he messaged an escort during my panic attack
I’m grateful he was acting weird with his phone
I’m grateful he kept me up all night till 6am drunk
I’m grateful he slammed doors yelling at me
I’m grateful he screamed in my face while wagging his finger
I’m grateful I questioned him
I’m grateful the escort cooperated
I’m grateful his brother warned me about the drugs and drunk driving
I’m grateful there were no accidents
I’m grateful he was so drunk I could check his phone
I’m so incredibly grateful that the escort responded in the morning so I could see it.
I’m grateful the escort answered my call and consoled me
I’m grateful I was shown and got out
I’m grateful I was so badly mistreated on Canada Day
Otherwise I would not have been suspicious
I’m grateful your family showed their true colours
specifically his mother’s blinded and dangerous loyalty.
I’m grateful that I can function
I’m grateful after considering all this, I now know I do not need closure.
Closure was him messaging an escort. Closure was him continuing to prioritize himself after being caught.
Closure was me prioritizing my safety. Closure was accepting that he is in fact an abuser despite his outward disposition.
He’s an abuser dressed like a butterfly: flighty, scared and beautiful. But he was really a moth eating away at the fabric of my life.
I’m grateful for my resilience and strength
I’m grateful for my friends and family
What is best for my soul is to wish you well and live my own life.
I wish you well, please don’t do this to anyone else.
I would be grateful for that.
Jan 29, 2025
Jan 29, 2025 at 3:33 AM UTC
He smells like home and sweat
And always makes me fret
About nothing and everything all at once
He loves thoughtfully while patient and calm
Agreeing that I’m never wrong
He is everything all at once
Jun 5, 2024
Jun 5, 2024 at 10:45 PM UTC
Leaving
He grasps for what’s left of me
Bobbi pins borrowed sweaters
Desperation hits as he offers commitment
In fear I will accept
While I am forced to leave him behind
Everyone else just feels like a dull cast
Shadow
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 1:57 AM UTC
I didn’t think I needed this anymore
We spent our time laughing teasing and loving
My hand and heart didn’t need a pen
But here I am
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 1:53 AM UTC
Lying is easy
For some it comes like an exhale
The lie moves flawlessly and without effort
Flowing from throat to lips like a wave
For others lying can feel like daggers
Each slur silently attacking the listener
While guilt subtly washes over the liars face
I hold my breath while reading him for guilt
Holding onto the thought that I am overthinking
While wishing I’m just living in the past trauma
He tries to take me in his embrace
he is looking for satisfaction somewhere else
it’s hard not to blame myself
But good people do not lie
Even if it comes as easy as a wave
Jan 18, 2021
Jan 18, 2021 at 1:49 AM UTC
A house with wrap around deck
Acoustic music softly plays as a smell of
Fresh rain and cedar fill the room
Content and certainty as he hugs from behind
Without you that’s just a foolish dream now
Why did I let you have this power over me
***** laundry, takeout meals, alcohol
This cyclic routine is starting to feel like nothingness
I won’t allow a vision of the future as it won’t include you
Perpetually living in the last second
Jul 17, 2020
Jul 17, 2020 at 1:48 AM UTC
Good for me
I go to work
I look after myself
I try to be kind and
I fake being okay
Good for me
That’s all I’m going to say
Jun 7, 2020
Jun 7, 2020 at 1:19 AM UTC
Raising the blinds
A warm cast of sun hits her face and body
She started the day feeling confined
Now listening to country music
Driving through dirt roads
She’s surprised as she feels euphoric
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 12:12 PM UTC
Reading for hours not giving my mind a minute to rest
If it does, resting will soon morph into flashbacks and racing thoughts of inadequacy
I wish it was easier
But it’s not. I have to drag myself to a stumble into the future
Just wish I could know if the suffering will end
Jan 1, 2020
Jan 1, 2020 at 10:10 AM UTC