every day i wake up
and walk outside in the early morning
smelling the roses and the scent of oncoming rain
my heart often feels as though it simply cannot go on
as though you somehow were the one to make it beat
and now that your absence has fully registered to me
nothing is the same
it is hard to eat breakfast on Saturday mornings
without you sitting beside me
and it is difficult to read beautiful books on Wednesday afternoons
without you bringing me tea
and it is simply unbearable to go to sleep on Sunday nights
with thoughts of you with someone else
creeping into my foggy brain
i feel lost without you
but somehow i keep on living
because i know it's what you would want
at least, i hope
s.s.
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 8:20 PM UTC
Stubbornly holding the glass fragments of what once was
Refusing to lose hope completely
But the fragments slowly dwindle
With each bump in the road
Until I have only one left
With the rest surrounding my cold, blue toes
Which have become numb with the coldness I feel
With this last piece of us, what could I do?
I want to desperately to hold on until forever
But I can't
Because you won't
And you didn't
So with much concentration I let the last piece fall down
Wincing as it cuts through my heart
Jun 7, 2013
Jun 7, 2013 at 10:19 PM UTC
I stumble into the hall of doors
And I hear the door behind me close harshly
Where am I supposed to go now?
I feel like wallowing in my tears
But I hear a voice say, "Get up, and follow me."
So I follow the voice down the hall
Looking at each door, recognizing some, others brand new to me
Till I come to a pearly white door opened all the way
And the voice says "Go on. I'll see you when you return once more."
Jun 7, 2013
Jun 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM UTC
One
New Moon
A heart that knows no love
Two
Waning Crescent
A new friendship
Three
Third Quarter
A best friend
Four
Waning Gibbous
A blossoming relationship
Five
Full Moon
A true love
Six
Waxing Gibbous
A few arguments here and there
Seven
First Quarter
A break
Eight
Waxing Crescent
A relationship no more
Repeat
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013 at 4:04 PM UTC
As liquid sunlight
Slowly coarses through my veins
I am enlightened
Feb 22, 2013
Feb 22, 2013 at 9:47 PM UTC
Dewdrops on petals
Hard to differentiate
From my own teardrops
Feb 22, 2013
Feb 22, 2013 at 4:21 AM UTC
Looking out at sea
Remembering my old life
Watch it wash away
A new beginning
Starting from the crystal sea
I become anew
Now no more hurting
Forever now who I am
Started with my choice
Looking out at sea
Look at how it has changed me
An eternal friend
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 9:28 PM UTC
The garden overflows with memories
And secrets that fly with the wind in the trees
The warmth of the sun, reminds me of the one
Whose name floats in the breeze
And suddenly, a rain drop, then a few more
I look into the sky where the eagles soar
The weather has changed now, I discover with a frown
And it bothers me down to my core
The garden should be a happy place to be
Not somewhere that, because of rain, you can hardly see
And so, just like that, I got up from where I sat
And started to make my way to the sea
To my absolute horror, I discovered it was raining there, too
Oh what on earth could I do?
To escape from this rain, that's causing so much pain
And making me feel terribly blue
Or perhaps it's not the rain at all
Not the way it splashes my face when it falls
Maybe it's him, whose face is so dim
Who has given me so much burden to haul
I trudge back to the garden, now quite sad
And perhaps even a little mad
I sit down and I cry, though I'm not sure why
But I slowly realize I'm glad
It has stopped raining for the day
The rain must go on its way
But my face is still wet, and I can easily bet
I will not as quickly be ok
Memories resurface, but there's a particularly special one
It consists of him, a flower, and the sun
He gives me the flower, and holds me for an hour
Before finally having to run
That was the last I saw of him, and it made my heart sore
That was the last I saw of him before he went to war
And the letter I received the next year, created so many tears
That I fell down just inside my door
My special one had been killed, just like that
And all they could find of him was his hat
The hat I bought for him, just on a whim
How could I ever forget that?
And now in the garden full of memories
And wonderful secrets and fascinating stories
I remember my love, as to my shoulder flutters a dove
And then, just as quickly, escapes into the breeze.
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 1:18 PM UTC
As I walk, I dream
Slowly letting my spirit teem
I go through this life, filled with strife
Floating along like a simple moonbeam
Away on ships I go
To where exactly, I do not know
Somewhere away from the pain so I won't have to feign
This pathetic masquerade of a show
Roses float around me
Gently in the sea
It stretches out, rolling about
As calm as it ever could be
Deep in shadows I rest in wait
Meeting you at the floral gate
Though nowhere you are, as you're up with the stars
And so shall forever be late
The clock ticks slowly, by and by
Accompanying me while I cry
Under my blanket of air I still feel you there
Whispering "I love you" and wiping my eye
Promises have been broken by you
Everything I heard was true
But if that's the case why do I still miss the face
Of the one I thought I knew
Play a song for me, I'll shed not a tear
Though I have much to fear
You disappeared from my sight, took away my light
Now each day feels like a year
Time engulf me, make this end
A letter to you I shall send
Hold me tight, I won't put up a fight
If only peace you can lend
A hundred reasons to cry
And I don't even know why
But I know with you here there's nothing to fear
Even though you're up in the sky
Another good night to you my dear
Please don't shed another tear
I am with you, know it is true
And remember you have nothing to fear
Dream once again of happier things
Like jokes and juggling and the joy to sing
Do not forget these, hold on to them, please
And remember the happiness I can bring
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013 at 6:09 PM UTC