I never knew what love felt like until I looked at you and I felt nothing new.
I knew I was in love because thinking about you doesn’t keep me up at night.
I knew I was in love because I don’t think about you the moment I wake up in the morning.
I knew I was in love because I kissed you and you pulled away and said food was more important.
I knew I was in love because my heart didn’t jump out of my chest when I kissed the skin usually hidden by your clothes.
I knew I was in love because when you held my hand my knees didn’t go weak.
I knew I was in love because sometimes when I do hold your hand you say you don’t want to.
I knew I was in love when touching your skin didn’t give me tunnel vision for you.
I knew I was in love because we don’t talk to each other all the time.
I knew I was in love when you said you think it’s weird to text me goodnight.
I knew I was in love when I told you I’d never text you good morning.
I knew I was in love when I looked at you and I saw the same eyes from eight years ago looking back at me.
I knew I was in love because nothing about us changed.
I knew I was in love because you’re my best friend.
I knew I was in love.
I know I am in love.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 19, 2018 at 4:05 AM UTC
You just got back from vacation. You were tired of being around other people and said to me, “We need to get some coffee and not talk to each other for awhile, okay?”
And I said yes.
Because you’re my favorite person to not talk to over some coffee.
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 17, 2018 at 8:58 AM UTC
As the thick humidity of summer approaches, I can’t help but think of you coming home.
Not to my arms, but back to where we belong.
And as we tumble through the last stage of our youth, where we carelessly, effortlessly, and unknowingly fall in love with each other, I can’t help but think of the day when I get on that plane; you get in your car, and we both yearn for when we felt the moisture in the air stick our skin together.
And on that day I hope you realize you don’t want to leave.
You don’t want to put your car in drive. You don’t want to watch my jet trails disappear over the eastern horizon.
But we both know we can’t stop time. And we both know we can’t tell each other how we feel now.
That is why you scare the hell out of me.
Because I’ve learned after being in your life for so long that we don’t need each other all that much to live a good life.
But that’s also why I love you.
It would just make everyday a little bit sweeter knowing you’re there, 1500 miles away, with my name pulled up on your phone ready to press call when you’re walking home.
Just like you have always done.
Just like you always do.
Just like I always hope you will.
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 3:07 AM UTC
I know your order by heart.
It's always a macchiato with seltzer water on the side.
No matter where we are.
You've whisked me away to so many different coffee shops in so many different cities and I've never grown tired of it. (Maybe because of all the coffee we've been drinking).
And I wonder if every time that you get coffee, and I'm not there, if you think about my favorite order. Just a straight, black, pour-over.
And I wonder if I've given you coffee stains on your heart, much like you've given me.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 1:23 AM UTC
You're throat is burning,
But I'm the one that's spitting smoke.
My reptilian tongue,
Takes the time to deceive us both.
You tried to speak to me,
But I only heard a voice from my past.
You reached in my head,
And found yourself all alone.
And you built this future for us,
And you turned my heart into dust.
But I won't follow you.
Well I felt my chest caving in,
And you became my deadliest sin.
But I won't follow you.
And your match head scream,
Lights up the way to the door.
And you set yourself on fire,
Just trying to keep me warm.
And I fueled that flame,
Despite the guilt in my eye.
Behind my convincing claim,
I knew we were always out of time.
And I built this past in my head,
It was you who would never learn.
And I won't follow you.
So you threw your heart on the ground,
You misunderstood what I meant for you now.
And you won't listen to the truth.
Oh I tried to tell you,
I wanted to warn you,
I did everything that I could,
But we know that's a lie.
I tried to love you,
I wanted to love you,
I just couldn't keep up,
I couldn't survive with your love.
And you built this future for us,
And you turned my heart into dust.
But I won't follow you.
Well I felt my chest caving in,
And you became my deadliest sin.
I won't follow you.
Aug 26, 2016
Aug 26, 2016 at 1:04 AM UTC
I had a sneaking suspicion,
That you were submerging,
Slowly into the soft scent of my burning soul.
What went wrong my dear?
Was the wrath of my wistful wondering,
Wrecking the fragile walls of your wishes?
Perhaps the pressure of my painstaking peer,
Put you in a position,
Of perilous pondering.
But, in the essence of our existential existence,
Did you ever stop and elaborate,
Did you even think about our everlasting escapade?
Maybe we can marvel at our mortality,
Make peace with our mirrors,
And make do with our maddening monstrosities.
Loving you lately has been anything but lovely,
Yet we find the time to lie low,
Laughing in our liar's lair,
Laying waste to our labored lives.
May 2, 2015
May 2, 2015 at 11:50 PM UTC
1 second.
2 years.
1 second.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 10:39 PM UTC
You checked my armor.
It was worn and tattered. It wasn't going to last.
But I assured you I was going to be okay.
You checked my weapons.
Just my balled up fists. Sweat and blood filled the creases in my hands. They couldn't do any damage.
I assured you I was going to be okay.
You wiped my face.
Composing a masterpiece on my skin.
Using the ocean from my eyes like war paint, you traced your fingers on my cheeks to my ears then down my jaw line, to my neck and straight to my heart.
I promise you that I'll be okay.
Because we both knew in that moment, that I'd be back to find you.
Where you'll compose a masterpiece using that salty elixir like war paint and my skin the canvas.
You're signature, that passion filled kiss, proving that I'm yours. And yours only.
I'll never stop fighting for you, my love.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 5:30 PM UTC
Baby if I die, if I die will you meet me
in Heaven or Hell.
It doesn't really matter to me.
If you do meet me in Hell,
I'd let the eternal flames lick my soul
if it meant having you forever
by my side.
And if you meet me in Heaven,
all the better.
We would finally have our place in the stars,
like you always dreamed.
But if you choose to stray from my eyes
let it be known,
Heaven or Hell, demon or angel,
my heart still longs for you.
Your everlasting touch.
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 21, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
Do you remember sailing on that dark and stormy sea?
The salty water covered you like a blanket with every breaking wave.
That's when you found me. Or I guess I found you.
You saw me shining while you were on that dark and stormy sea.
I loomed over the coast, illuminating what I could.
There I was, love, your lighthouse. Your savior.
I thought I could be your home.
But I showed you my treacherous rocks. That deceiving beach I called my own.
I was your lighthouse. And I did my job.
We both knew you wouldn't crash your boat and drown in my twisted love.
And so I watched you sail away on that dark and stormy sea.
Away from certain death, that salty water covering you like a blanket with every breaking wave.
So here I wait, burning brightly and searching always, my head on a swivel.
Pouring my light out on that dark and stormy sea.
Searching only for you.
Mar 18, 2015
Mar 18, 2015 at 5:10 PM UTC